Im not usually a hound when it comes to grammer and spelling... But this poem WANTS to be edited.
Seriously, its a very good poem. But it loses value when the reader has to struggle through. I would really like to re-read this after an edit, because I quite enjoyed the smoother parts in it. (will you consider editing?)
Once again... let me say... A lovely poem. The feeling was quite well depicted. I also loved the questioning aspect.