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Thread: The World of Love

  1. #1
    Dragonrider Ichigo_06 is off to a good start Ichigo_06's Avatar
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    The World of Love

    This world alot of people find,
    Full of happiness, joy and love.
    All is joyous, all is peacefull,
    All without dought, or pain.

    Ever-lasting happiness, if all
    Is well you relax, yet if
    It is not you crash. One
    Thing matters though and that is US.

    Have I found my world of love,
    How does one know? Is all well
    That ends well? All that matters
    Is her, my half that was missed.

    All that matters is we stay
    Happy. All is well, all is agreed.
    If we continue with the same thoughs
    We will succeed.

    Of all the failures in life,
    One that should prevale
    Is love. The thing to
    Think of now is winning.

    Hey guys this was another random from earlier hope you like it.
    Last edited by Ichigo_06; Sep 25, 2007 at 07:02 PM. Reason: really bad spelling errors.
    ナサン フォオツド
    Keep what you hold dear close for one day they may be gone forever!
    Make one person smile for it will continue to spread but if you make a frown that will spread as well.http://www.animeonline.net/gallery/s...0/ppuser/57173

  2. #2
    Femmebot Rehab Colt Crouse Champion, Bookworm Champion, Hangman Champion, Connect 2 Champion Peach_follows has become well known Peach_follows has become well known Peach_follows has become well known Peach_follows's Avatar
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    Re: The World of Love

    Im not usually a hound when it comes to grammer and spelling... But this poem WANTS to be edited.

    Seriously, its a very good poem. But it loses value when the reader has to struggle through. I would really like to re-read this after an edit, because I quite enjoyed the smoother parts in it. (will you consider editing?)

    Once again... let me say... A lovely poem. The feeling was quite well depicted. I also loved the questioning aspect.
    ... Not Ever Again...

  3. #3
    Dragonrider Ichigo_06 is off to a good start Ichigo_06's Avatar
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    Re: The World of Love

    yes Peach I will eddit it and then send you a pm saying it is edited. thanks for the input and I am glad you liked it.
    ナサン フォオツド
    Keep what you hold dear close for one day they may be gone forever!
    Make one person smile for it will continue to spread but if you make a frown that will spread as well.http://www.animeonline.net/gallery/s...0/ppuser/57173

  4. #4
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    Re: The World of Love

    Much better... Its quite a lovely poem (always was)... But now it looks much more polished. Beautiful work! Keep it up!
    ... Not Ever Again...

  5. #5
    Dragonrider Ichigo_06 is off to a good start Ichigo_06's Avatar
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    Re: The World of Love

    Thank you peach. and I am glad you liked it. I thank you for the tip too. I really appreciate anyways to get my work better. thanks.
    ナサン フォオツド
    Keep what you hold dear close for one day they may be gone forever!
    Make one person smile for it will continue to spread but if you make a frown that will spread as well.http://www.animeonline.net/gallery/s...0/ppuser/57173

  6. #6
    Rawr~ :3 Boxteroid Champion, flyplane Champion, Home Run Champion, Bubbelfutsch Champion, Fire Fighter Champion, Brendans Soccer Champion, Movie Star Match-Up Champion, Total blackout Champion, Text Your Reflexes Champion, Scary movie Champion, Hulk Smash Up Champion, Star Wars Champion, Extreme Snowboarding Champion, Air Disc Champion, Action Fish Champion, A Game Of 3 Halves Champion, Battleball Champion, Hacky Sack Champion, FAD 2003 Champion, SQRL Golf Champion, Dr Yeckyl and Mr Ride Champion, Sky Glide Champion, Flyer Champion, Finnair Champion, Drachenjagd Champion, Canyon Glider Champion, City Surfing Champion, Action Driving Game Champion, Extreme Rowing Champion, Kardahdg Champion, Acceleracers Track Mod Champion, Final Test Champion, Du Wichtel Champion, Pedal Power Champion, Camera Killer 2 Champion, Bike Mania on ICE Champion, ATV Winter Challenge Champion, Caliber Dash Champion, Diesel and Death Champion, Snow Ride Champion, Camera Killer Champion, Pepsi Jet Ski Champion, Bumper Cars Championship Champion, Drifting Champion, Get A Grip Champion, Rooney on the Rampage Champion, Death To Ninja Champion, Kung Fu Hustle 2 Champion, Muay Thai Champion, Metal Arm FAWEGE Champion, Knife Champion, Classroom Fighter Champion, Nobuyuki Forces 3 Champion, Caddeva Champion, Sewer Dweller Champion, Angel Mart Champion, Snowy Champion, Bola Champion, Boiler Room Champion, Bobcat Champion, Amazon Quest Champion, Booty Champion, Five Errors Champion, Mind Your Marbles Champion, Angel Fruit Champion, Binggrae Champion, Candy Shoot Champion, Imperial tiles Champion, Himalayaya - Yeti Strikes Back Champion, Terrorist Attack Champion, Americas Army Champion, Special Operations Champion, Destroy the robots Champion, Cubicle Warfare Champion, Battle Field Champion, Weapons Dealer Champion, Army Copter Champion, Flat War Champion, Terrorist Alert Champion, Bully Basher Champion, Reaktor Champion, Bungee Rescue Champion, The Contraptor Champion, Boris Champion, Carling Cold Champion, Paddleball Champion RayMe is making a name for themselves RayMe is making a name for themselves RayMe's Avatar
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    Re: The World of Love

    i gotta agree with peachy... this is very good... ^^ nicely done keep up the good work mate.. ^^

    Legion Ketsueki Lives on~!!
    I'm BACK AO!
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  7. #7
    Dragonrider Ichigo_06 is off to a good start Ichigo_06's Avatar
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    Re: The World of Love

    Thanks Ray I appreciate eny type of feed back I get, whether bad or good, thank you for helping me better my poetry. I will post more soon.
    ナサン フォオツド
    Keep what you hold dear close for one day they may be gone forever!
    Make one person smile for it will continue to spread but if you make a frown that will spread as well.http://www.animeonline.net/gallery/s...0/ppuser/57173

  8. #8
    Otaku ice viper is off to a good start ice viper's Avatar
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    Re: The World of Love

    Ichigo its really good to read your poems. I like the happy and in love poems it gives me something to look forward to. Nicely done keep up with the good work.

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