The World of Pain

Ichigo_06 · Sep 25, 2007, 05:03 PM

What is this pain,
Why does it show?
I know she is hurt,
But she lets me know.

This is a friend,
Who I have helped,
But yet she yells at me.
All I can do is keep helping.

Is something wrong,
I ask, she starts yelling,
lets talk, I say
she starts talking.

All the things she said,
All she called me,
We were not dating, and yet
it feals as if a chunck has been torn.

Torn from within, not without,
Hurting, bleeding, for
A friendship lost.
will it mend?

Will it heal? I hope so,
I trust in friendship,
It pains me so to see her mad.
Let all be well, let all be good, not bad.
sorry about this one guys just thought to post again. please let me know what you think and any suggestions you may have to make it better thanks.

ice viper · Sep 25, 2007, 05:08 PM

WOW! Sorry that you feel that way. Hope things will work out with you. I can feel the emotions from your poem Ichigo. Good work, can't wait to read more from you.

P.R. Princess · Sep 25, 2007, 05:12 PM

I think it was good.
I really like it.
There is alot of emotions
and they are said soo well.
Keep it up and hope to see more. ^.^

Ichigo_06 · Sep 25, 2007, 05:22 PM

thanks guys. I appreciate your feed back. I really do and the fact that you like it is even better. thanks. next time it wont be such a sad theme.

mixed fighter girl · Sep 25, 2007, 06:11 PM

hm well i think there was a spelling error. but besides that i thought it was really deep and like what the others said the poem screams the emotions and feelings that was written. i like it and it shows another side of friendship.

Ichigo_06 · Sep 25, 2007, 06:13 PM

thank you fighter girl I appreciate your feed back and oppinion I promiss the next one will be happy. and yeah I misspelled hellping. I will change it. lol sorry.

Astaroth · Sep 26, 2007, 03:35 PM

Nice one!!!
Beautifully written and meaningful words!!!!
Great job!!!

Ichigo_06 · Sep 26, 2007, 03:59 PM

Thank you for your imput Astaroth. I appreciate all the imput and the fact people likes it makes it better thanks.

*RayMe* · Sep 28, 2007, 09:08 AM

Hmm seems more of a story telling there..

it's good... hmm but i'd say other poems of urs are better than this 1 though this 1 is filled with more emotions... thats what i feel though.. ^^

Best friend · Sep 28, 2007, 10:23 AM

Nice OnE
I LikE It AlOt

Nice WorK On It

Ichigo_06 · Sep 28, 2007, 03:55 PM

thanks for your feed back best friend and rayme. thanks. I am glad you liked it (and Inew it wanst that good)

Sep 25, 2007, 05:03 PM	#1 (permalink)
Ichigo_06 Dragonrider Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: On the back of my dragon escaping everything and ignoring the pain. Posts: 611 Thanks: 15 Thanked 10 Times in 10 Posts Credits: 4,744	The World of Pain What is this pain, Why does it show? I know she is hurt, But she lets me know. This is a friend, Who I have helped, But yet she yells at me. All I can do is keep helping. Is something wrong, I ask, she starts yelling, lets talk, I say she starts talking. All the things she said, All she called me, We were not dating, and yet it feals as if a chunck has been torn. Torn from within, not without, Hurting, bleeding, for A friendship lost. will it mend? Will it heal? I hope so, I trust in friendship, It pains me so to see her mad. Let all be well, let all be good, not bad. sorry about this one guys just thought to post again. please let me know what you think and any suggestions you may have to make it better thanks. __________________ ナサンフォオツド Keep what you hold dear close for one day they may be gone forever! Make one person smile for it will continue to spread but if you make a frown that will spread as well.http://www.animeonline.net/gallery/s...0/ppuser/57173 Last edited by Ichigo_06; Sep 25, 2007 at 06:14 PM.
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Sep 25, 2007, 05:08 PM	#2 (permalink)
ice viper Diamond in the Rough Join Date: May 2007 Location: I'm lost Posts: 212 Thanks: 5 Thanked 6 Times in 6 Posts Credits: 3,404	Re: The World of Pain WOW! Sorry that you feel that way. Hope things will work out with you. I can feel the emotions from your poem Ichigo. Good work, can't wait to read more from you.
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Sep 25, 2007, 05:12 PM	#3 (permalink)
P.R. Princess NalaMidnight Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Virginia Posts: 900 Thanks: 3 Thanked 17 Times in 16 Posts Credits: 14,170	Re: The World of Pain I think it was good. I really like it. There is alot of emotions and they are said soo well. Keep it up and hope to see more. ^.^ __________________ ~GUNSLINGER~A7X=MIA~ ~ MYSPACE~AWESOME PLACE TO SAVE~ ~I give my heart and everything to my sailor~
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Sep 25, 2007, 05:22 PM	#4 (permalink)
Ichigo_06 Dragonrider Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: On the back of my dragon escaping everything and ignoring the pain. Posts: 611 Thanks: 15 Thanked 10 Times in 10 Posts Credits: 4,744	Re: The World of Pain thanks guys. I appreciate your feed back. I really do and the fact that you like it is even better. thanks. next time it wont be such a sad theme. __________________ ナサンフォオツド Keep what you hold dear close for one day they may be gone forever! Make one person smile for it will continue to spread but if you make a frown that will spread as well.http://www.animeonline.net/gallery/s...0/ppuser/57173
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Sep 25, 2007, 06:11 PM	#5 (permalink)
mixed fighter girl Diamond in the Rough Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: where the true warriors fight Posts: 251 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Credits: 1,275	Re: The World of Pain hm well i think there was a spelling error. but besides that i thought it was really deep and like what the others said the poem screams the emotions and feelings that was written. i like it and it shows another side of friendship. __________________ . I will fight until i find what i'm looking for...you can not judge me on my apperence I am a Warrior. If you have a problem with me..... then my blades will meet your neck.
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Sep 25, 2007, 06:13 PM	#6 (permalink)
Ichigo_06 Dragonrider Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: On the back of my dragon escaping everything and ignoring the pain. Posts: 611 Thanks: 15 Thanked 10 Times in 10 Posts Credits: 4,744	Re: The World of Pain thank you fighter girl I appreciate your feed back and oppinion I promiss the next one will be happy. and yeah I misspelled hellping. I will change it. lol sorry. __________________ ナサンフォオツド Keep what you hold dear close for one day they may be gone forever! Make one person smile for it will continue to spread but if you make a frown that will spread as well.http://www.animeonline.net/gallery/s...0/ppuser/57173
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Sep 26, 2007, 03:35 PM	#7 (permalink)
Astaroth Chtonian Slayer Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: you really do not want to know Posts: 563 Thanks: 23 Thanked 47 Times in 45 Posts Credits: 31,439	Re: The World of Pain Nice one!!! Beautifully written and meaningful words!!!! Great job!!! __________________ DO NOT MAKE ME UNLEASH MY INNER DEMON
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Sep 26, 2007, 03:59 PM	#8 (permalink)
Ichigo_06 Dragonrider Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: On the back of my dragon escaping everything and ignoring the pain. Posts: 611 Thanks: 15 Thanked 10 Times in 10 Posts Credits: 4,744	Re: The World of Pain Thank you for your imput Astaroth. I appreciate all the imput and the fact people likes it makes it better thanks. __________________ ナサンフォオツド Keep what you hold dear close for one day they may be gone forever! Make one person smile for it will continue to spread but if you make a frown that will spread as well.http://www.animeonline.net/gallery/s...0/ppuser/57173
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Sep 28, 2007, 09:08 AM	#9 (permalink)
RayMe 1 )3^^( )N Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Somewhere i would love to leave right now for somewhere better... Posts: 3,601 Thanks: 54 Thanked 26 Times in 23 Posts Credits: 59,148	Re: The World of Pain Hmm seems more of a story telling there.. it's good... hmm but i'd say other poems of urs are better than this 1 though this 1 is filled with more emotions... thats what i feel though.. ^^ __________________ Legion Ketsueki Lives on~!! The best ever Lasura~! >>>myspace<<<
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Sep 28, 2007, 10:23 AM	#10 (permalink)
Best friend Newbie Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 6 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Credits: 110	Re: The World of Pain Nice OnE I LikE It AlOt Nice WorK On It
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Sep 28, 2007, 03:55 PM	#11 (permalink)
Ichigo_06 Dragonrider Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: On the back of my dragon escaping everything and ignoring the pain. Posts: 611 Thanks: 15 Thanked 10 Times in 10 Posts Credits: 4,744	Re: The World of Pain thanks for your feed back best friend and rayme. thanks. I am glad you liked it (and Inew it wanst that good) __________________ ナサンフォオツド Keep what you hold dear close for one day they may be gone forever! Make one person smile for it will continue to spread but if you make a frown that will spread as well.http://www.animeonline.net/gallery/s...0/ppuser/57173
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