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Thread: Written

  1. #1
    Otaku Artistic Anarchy is off to a good start Artistic Anarchy's Avatar
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    Written

    Depression, loneliness, imperfection

    I laugh horrendously at those
    who imagine my days are
    weak and limited

    I wish to leave the human world
    with dark thoughts, empty eyes, no memories

    In this dry and bitter life I lead
    these writings are all I've got

    A bald oasis of barren land
    this is indeed a shallow end

    Steadily I spend my time
    witting these songs or poems

    Stentorian tones, why can't the voices rest
    so tranquility can be whole

    Do not judge what you don't know
    you make life harder with your very presence

    I can't win, I must quit
    I've gone to far for to long

    So I'll leave with this note
    live it while you can...

  2. #2
    super effective Last Man Standing Champion FLawEdmiNd may be famous one day FLawEdmiNd may be famous one day FLawEdmiNd's Avatar
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    Re: Written

    Quote Originally Posted by Artistic Anarchy View Post
    A bald oasis
    Nice.

    Quote Originally Posted by Artistic Anarchy View Post
    live it while you can...
    Though the poem was superdark this lines seems weirdly hopeful to me.

    All in all, this is a pretty whiny piece but the wording redeems it enough to not peg it as a journal rant.
    the love you withhold is the pain you carry.

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    Otaku Artistic Anarchy is off to a good start Artistic Anarchy's Avatar
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    Re: Written

    Quote Originally Posted by FLawEdmiNd View Post
    Nice.



    Though the poem was superdark this lines seems weirdly hopeful to me.

    All in all, this is a pretty whiny piece but the wording redeems it enough to not peg it as a journal rant.
    Uhh, thanks? I guess I should take that as a compliment, although I don't appreciate "whiny piece" so much. The poem's message is to keep positive when things look very bad, I think a message that alot could use in times like these.

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    Banned beast may be famous one day beast may be famous one day beast's Avatar
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    Re: Written

    Just straight words are cool you don't see that done very much these days.

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    Otaku Artistic Anarchy is off to a good start Artistic Anarchy's Avatar
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    Re: Written

    Quote Originally Posted by beast View Post
    Just straight words are cool you don't see that done very much these days.
    Yeah, I do use rhyming in some of my poems but it's very overrated and I don't believe it's what makes a poem great.

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