Anime Online
Home Forums Gallery Reviews RPG Arcade FleaMarket Links Rules / FAQ

Welcome to AnimeOnline.net, your personal Anime Community!

Anime Online Rulez!

Go Back   Anime Online > Mixed Flava > Poems

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old Jan 17, 2007, 11:55 AM   #1 (permalink)
Newbie
 
Bio-link's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: clinton NC
Posts: 96
Thanks: 0
Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post
Bio-link will become famous soon enoughBio-link will become famous soon enough
Credits: 426
Talking X-Ray of my Heart

tell me what you think

here i waste away today
i am cold and lonely in the dark
i wait here tucked and hidden away,
away from words that cut without a mark

i wait here for many an hour
waiting for words to that will never come
every day becomes more dire
waiting for that which is apparent in some

all these chains that bind my vanity
these feelings that set my soul apart
i wither away to struggle with my sanity
all this you'll see with an X-Ray of my heart
__________________


The brighter a light shines, the thicker the shadows fall
Status: Offline
 
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
Old Jan 17, 2007, 12:02 PM   #2 (permalink)
Shining Star
 
divine_punishment's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Good question . . . where am I?
Posts: 1,271
Thanks: 22
Thanked 27 Times in 22 Posts
divine_punishment will become famous soon enoughdivine_punishment will become famous soon enough
Credits: 59,197
Re: X-Ray of my Heart

Punctuation and capitalization might help those of us reading this. Also, don't focus so much on rhyming that your metre goes off. Beyond that, I really like this poem, particularly the last stanza.
__________________
Status: Offline
 
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
Old Jan 17, 2007, 05:24 PM   #3 (permalink)
Decapitation?DontBePicky!
 
Raimann's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Toronto
Posts: 660
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Raimann will become famous soon enoughRaimann will become famous soon enough
Credits: 7,812
Re: X-Ray of my Heart

i dont agree wit divine
im onna rap site called goldmic and ppl caps the rhymin words
but in poetry, its the simplicity that stands out
ur x-ray idea was good, but it could have a broader meaning
__________________

Want Credits Fast? Love The Thrill Of Gambling? Then Come On Down And See For Yourself!
http://www.animeonline.net/f5/nfl-football-31440/
Status: Offline
 
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Hikus' for the heart Shippo101 Poems 1 Nov 28, 2006 09:56 AM
Feeling's Of The Heart Shinigami's_Angel Poems 2 Jun 27, 2006 10:16 PM
have you ever had your heart broken?? equinn The Chat Forum 21 Jun 08, 2006 09:24 PM
the way my heart bounds me Elreka Poems 2 May 23, 2006 07:03 PM
The wonder of the heart Wonderlandless The Vault 2 Dec 29, 2004 09:27 AM

 


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 02:35 AM.


Manga Fox | Anime Wallpapers | Ringtones | Anime Avatars | Wallpapers | Anime Girls | Anime Buddy Icons
Anime Online Banners by fooligar. ©
This Anime skin cannot be reproduced on any website without written permission from the Anime Online Staff.
Ad Management by RedTyger

SEO by vBSEO

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99