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Thread: You!

  1. #1
    Fish Fingers & Custard Ice Hockey Champion, Smaugs Treasure Champion, Mini Putt 3 Champion, Ant Tracks Champion, Jungle Hunt Champion, Madnetics Champion, Manole Champion, Blokken Champion, Fast Food Fiasco Champion, Shapes Hifters Champion, Mud and Blood: Vietnam Champion HolderOfTheDarkChalice is making a name for themselves HolderOfTheDarkChalice is making a name for themselves HolderOfTheDarkChalice's Avatar
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    You!

    The sadness is everywhere ,
    can you see it?
    The pain is for free and no one care's,
    can you feel it?
    The tear's flow freely as the people walk by,
    did you notice?
    The bullet sings out in the night another child died,
    do you care?

    All thing's said , never once a does a head
    turn in concern.
    All things felt , not once did a hand try to stop
    the hurt.
    All thing's flowing,not a single shoulder was
    was given to them.
    All things cold,not a single rose was toss'ed
    on that nice wooden box.

    When the time for you're sadness comes,
    will they see you?
    When your pain is great ,will anyone walking
    by care ?
    When you're tears flow, did anyone notice
    you siting there in you're dispair?
    When that bullt take's you're life will
    anyone offer you a rose?
    Last edited by HolderOfTheDarkChalice; Sep 13, 2006 at 12:14 AM.
    I'll be the one to protect you from your enemies and all your demons
    I'll be the one to protect you from a will to survive and a voice of reason
    I'll be the one to protect you from your enemies and your choices son
    They're one in the same, I must isolate you...
    Isolate and save you from yourself

  2. #2
    Otaku -=Broken^Halo=- may be famous one day -=Broken^Halo=- may be famous one day -=Broken^Halo=-'s Avatar
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    Re: You!

    I liked this.. t'was.. interesting.. had much meaning and depth.. keep it up ^.^
    Fr3aK~0f~N@Tu|23

  3. #3
    Fish Fingers & Custard Ice Hockey Champion, Smaugs Treasure Champion, Mini Putt 3 Champion, Ant Tracks Champion, Jungle Hunt Champion, Madnetics Champion, Manole Champion, Blokken Champion, Fast Food Fiasco Champion, Shapes Hifters Champion, Mud and Blood: Vietnam Champion HolderOfTheDarkChalice is making a name for themselves HolderOfTheDarkChalice is making a name for themselves HolderOfTheDarkChalice's Avatar
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    Re: You!

    thank you i am glad you liked it i actually tried following the
    rules but not sire i did for this poem, but i tried anyway.
    and the poem really did have a lot of meaning in it and i
    hope i can do this good again sometime
    I'll be the one to protect you from your enemies and all your demons
    I'll be the one to protect you from a will to survive and a voice of reason
    I'll be the one to protect you from your enemies and your choices son
    They're one in the same, I must isolate you...
    Isolate and save you from yourself

  4. #4
    Otaku -=Broken^Halo=- may be famous one day -=Broken^Halo=- may be famous one day -=Broken^Halo=-'s Avatar
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    Re: You!

    bah.. poetry shouldn't have rules.. its poetry.. comes from the heart.. not the mind.. though do heed grammar so that others may understand what your message is ^.^.

    (Not commenting on the poem.. just a statement to the world)
    Fr3aK~0f~N@Tu|23

  5. #5
    Fish Fingers & Custard Ice Hockey Champion, Smaugs Treasure Champion, Mini Putt 3 Champion, Ant Tracks Champion, Jungle Hunt Champion, Madnetics Champion, Manole Champion, Blokken Champion, Fast Food Fiasco Champion, Shapes Hifters Champion, Mud and Blood: Vietnam Champion HolderOfTheDarkChalice is making a name for themselves HolderOfTheDarkChalice is making a name for themselves HolderOfTheDarkChalice's Avatar
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    Re: You!

    thats cool thanks and your right but i sort of had to struggle with the
    spelling lol j/k but i di have fun while doing it i mean why do something you
    cant enjoy
    I'll be the one to protect you from your enemies and all your demons
    I'll be the one to protect you from a will to survive and a voice of reason
    I'll be the one to protect you from your enemies and your choices son
    They're one in the same, I must isolate you...
    Isolate and save you from yourself

  6. #6
    Otaku -=Broken^Halo=- may be famous one day -=Broken^Halo=- may be famous one day -=Broken^Halo=-'s Avatar
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    Re: You!

    Exactly ... though to many people take poetry to seriously.. but then again.. maby I'm in the wrong for NOT taking it seriously.. eh heh.. but I DO have pieces that are serious.. so yeah.. just depends on your mood and state of mind perhaps.
    Fr3aK~0f~N@Tu|23

  7. #7
    Devoted Otaku BlueFox1 may be famous one day BlueFox1 may be famous one day BlueFox1's Avatar
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    Re: You!

    Hey Bro!

    Awesome Poem! The meaning and emotion are great! It makes you think who out there in the world really cares about you. I like the imagery given in this poem.

    Oustanding job Bro!

    BlueFox1

  8. #8
    Fish Fingers & Custard Ice Hockey Champion, Smaugs Treasure Champion, Mini Putt 3 Champion, Ant Tracks Champion, Jungle Hunt Champion, Madnetics Champion, Manole Champion, Blokken Champion, Fast Food Fiasco Champion, Shapes Hifters Champion, Mud and Blood: Vietnam Champion HolderOfTheDarkChalice is making a name for themselves HolderOfTheDarkChalice is making a name for themselves HolderOfTheDarkChalice's Avatar
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    Re: You!

    glad you liked man and got the imagry i ws going for that in this one,
    and yea i was going for the thought of who realy cares after the day is done,
    its really a good question i think
    I'll be the one to protect you from your enemies and all your demons
    I'll be the one to protect you from a will to survive and a voice of reason
    I'll be the one to protect you from your enemies and your choices son
    They're one in the same, I must isolate you...
    Isolate and save you from yourself

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