You said we would be together
What's up AO? I know it's been awhile and my poem writing has probably gotten a little rusty, but tell me what you think alright.
You said we would be together
You said that we would always be together
Not knowing that promise wouldn’t last forever
Love came into my life like a cool summer breeze
Circling around my heart like wind through the trees
As visions of hearts spiral around the corners of my mind
I am looking and standing in a land that is without time
Love comes and goes like life’s eternal ebb and flow
Tossing me around never knowing which direction to go
The promise to be together is as fragile as porcelain vase
Something we all wish to achieve and to have a just cause
Living and learning is the lesson we should heed from love
Yet we’re constantly blinded like wondering lost doves
Searching for that perfect soul mate in which to spend my life
I can only imagine what kind of deception lies within our minds
Now that we know that promise wouldn’t last forever
The question still remain can we adapt and be together
Re: You said we would be together
A few typos. Reading the poem over before posting can help with that.
Re: You said we would be together
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Kasai 
A few typos. Reading the poem over before posting can help with that.
Thank you Kasai and I appreciate the advice on my poem. I make sure to make corrections on my future poems.
Re: You said we would be together
A nice poem here Blue Fox, I really enjoyed reading it, because it talks about things that concern me... I found it ineresting to read about what you think about this game of "live and learn love". But I disagree a lill bit, I'm sure it's the same with love as it is with all the other things- love is something you have to understand too and it's almost impossible to find reall love with the first try...
Anyways, don't mind my mumbling much ^^ This is a nice poem...
Re: You said we would be together
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Lasura A nice poem here Blue Fox, I really enjoyed reading it, because it talks about things that concern me... I found it ineresting to read about what you think about this game of "live and learn love". But I disagree a lill bit, I'm sure it's the same with love as it is with all the other things- love is something you have to understand too and it's almost impossible to find reall love with the first try...
Anyways, don't mind my mumbling much ^^ This is a nice poem...
Lasura your exactly right about finding love on the first try! It's not that easy a lot of things go into looking for a relationship as well as making one work, so you mumbling is very much appreciated! I thank you for taking the time to read my poem especially since this type of poem is not my usual style of writing.
Re: You said we would be together
its a good peom, like said there is a few typos but w/e its stile a good poem
Re: You said we would be together
Ok, glad to hear my mumbling was not that bad ^^ I really enjoyed reading this, so thank you for writting this... And I'd like to see your other works too ^^
Re: You said we would be together
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Originally Posted by
ME2LOL its a good peom, like said there is a few typos but w/e its stile a good poem
ME2LOL thanks for the awesome comment and the corrective criticism, I'm make sure to make the necessary corrections on my next poem. :thumb:
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Lasura Ok, glad to hear my mumbling was not that bad ^^ I really enjoyed reading this, so thank you for writting this... And I'd like to see your other works too ^^
Lasura your comments and mumblings are always welcomed here! So feel free to drop a few mumbles my way and I'll make sure to respond! Once again thanks for the comments. :thumb:
