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Thread: You said we would be together

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    Devoted Otaku BlueFox1 may be famous one day BlueFox1 may be famous one day BlueFox1's Avatar
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    You said we would be together

    What's up AO? I know it's been awhile and my poem writing has probably gotten a little rusty, but tell me what you think alright.

    You said we would be together


    You said that we would always be together
    Not knowing that promise wouldn’t last forever
    Love came into my life like a cool summer breeze
    Circling around my heart like wind through the trees


    As visions of hearts spiral around the corners of my mind
    I am looking and standing in a land that is without time
    Love comes and goes like life’s eternal ebb and flow
    Tossing me around never knowing which direction to go


    The promise to be together is as fragile as porcelain vase
    Something we all wish to achieve and to have a just cause
    Living and learning is the lesson we should heed from love
    Yet we’re constantly blinded like wondering lost doves


    Searching for that perfect soul mate in which to spend my life
    I can only imagine what kind of deception lies within our minds
    Now that we know that promise wouldn’t last forever
    The question still remain can we adapt and be together

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    Domme Kasai may be famous one day Kasai may be famous one day Kasai's Avatar
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    Re: You said we would be together

    A few typos. Reading the poem over before posting can help with that.
    Seduced by Flesh


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    Devoted Otaku BlueFox1 may be famous one day BlueFox1 may be famous one day BlueFox1's Avatar
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    Re: You said we would be together

    Quote Originally Posted by Kasai View Post
    A few typos. Reading the poem over before posting can help with that.
    Thank you Kasai and I appreciate the advice on my poem. I make sure to make corrections on my future poems.

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    Angelic Lasura may be famous one day Lasura's Avatar
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    Re: You said we would be together

    A nice poem here Blue Fox, I really enjoyed reading it, because it talks about things that concern me... I found it ineresting to read about what you think about this game of "live and learn love". But I disagree a lill bit, I'm sure it's the same with love as it is with all the other things- love is something you have to understand too and it's almost impossible to find reall love with the first try...

    Anyways, don't mind my mumbling much ^^ This is a nice poem...

    My recommended fanfic: "Dreamer" by Scourge

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    Devoted Otaku BlueFox1 may be famous one day BlueFox1 may be famous one day BlueFox1's Avatar
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    Re: You said we would be together

    Quote Originally Posted by Lasura View Post
    A nice poem here Blue Fox, I really enjoyed reading it, because it talks about things that concern me... I found it ineresting to read about what you think about this game of "live and learn love". But I disagree a lill bit, I'm sure it's the same with love as it is with all the other things- love is something you have to understand too and it's almost impossible to find reall love with the first try...

    Anyways, don't mind my mumbling much ^^ This is a nice poem...
    Lasura your exactly right about finding love on the first try! It's not that easy a lot of things go into looking for a relationship as well as making one work, so you mumbling is very much appreciated! I thank you for taking the time to read my poem especially since this type of poem is not my usual style of writing.

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    Newbie ME2LOL is off to a good start ME2LOL's Avatar
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    Re: You said we would be together

    its a good peom, like said there is a few typos but w/e its stile a good poem

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    Angelic Lasura may be famous one day Lasura's Avatar
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    Re: You said we would be together

    Ok, glad to hear my mumbling was not that bad ^^ I really enjoyed reading this, so thank you for writting this... And I'd like to see your other works too ^^

    My recommended fanfic: "Dreamer" by Scourge

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    Devoted Otaku BlueFox1 may be famous one day BlueFox1 may be famous one day BlueFox1's Avatar
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    Re: You said we would be together

    Quote Originally Posted by ME2LOL View Post
    its a good peom, like said there is a few typos but w/e its stile a good poem
    ME2LOL thanks for the awesome comment and the corrective criticism, I'm make sure to make the necessary corrections on my next poem.

    Quote Originally Posted by Lasura View Post
    Ok, glad to hear my mumbling was not that bad ^^ I really enjoyed reading this, so thank you for writting this... And I'd like to see your other works too ^^
    Lasura your comments and mumblings are always welcomed here! So feel free to drop a few mumbles my way and I'll make sure to respond! Once again thanks for the comments.

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