You Should Know

Astaroth · Jul 27, 2008, 03:09 PM

This poem I dedicate to one of my newest friends that I met a few weeks ago.

I often think of you as a cruise ship.
You parade the vast sea
Showing off your pure luxury
To all those around you
You only hold in your heart
Those who can afford a great price
And only they
Can stroll about your chambers
Your swimming pools and golf courses
All-you-can-eat-buffets
With caviar and martinis.
But the beauty held within your vast compartments
Your glittering halls, crystal chandeliers
Plush white rugs and mirrored ceilings
Is artificial.

The true beauty lies far beyond you
In the depths of the ocean
Where we
(Who have realized the foolishness)
Live and thrive,
We see the genuine, raw beauty
Of the vast, glimmering ocean beyond you.
The people you call friends
Have four walls to limit their ambitions
But most of all, their vision and awareness
Of those beyond them.
But they have plenty of pretty toys
To make them think they're keeping busy
My world is infinite--I have no limits.
I have seen, felt, heard, smelled, and tasted
The sweetness of all things to offer
While you have only stayed in your place
Above the ocean
Believing everything underneath
Is not worth your attention.

I pity you, with your blissful ignorance
For you will never know the beauty
I have discovered beyond you.

Corvus · Aug 13, 2008, 10:15 AM

Wouldn't this be slightly offensive to a friend?
Unless ofcourse you meant your friend to be the speaker then she'd be like a mermaid or something and it'd be a HUGE compliment.

I love the imagery and the consistency throughout. It's really quite wonderful. I can see the whole thing and even picture eyes under the ocean as I assume the point of view of the person being objectified. Which you made easy. It's great and speaks volumes of beauty and real beauty. And the age old contest between knowledge and pretty faces.
Masterfully done!

<10> (If the olympic judges can do it then I should be able to give out tens as well :P)

*Peach_follows* · Aug 13, 2008, 10:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Corvus

Wouldn't this be slightly offensive to a friend?
Unless ofcourse you meant your friend to be the speaker then she'd be like a mermaid or something and it'd be a HUGE compliment.

I dunno if I would take offense to it.... It is a metaphore. And it wasn't mean... just observant.

I liked it! I've never read a poem quite like it. I think it would be a powerful thing to just walk up and say to someone. Infact I know some poeple who might need to be told that they have a cruise ship complex.

Corvus · Aug 13, 2008, 10:42 AM

haha. That'd be funny but only if you understood that all of this freaking thought was under it.

BTW. This is actually quite deep if you read it a few times.
And the first ten I've ever rated a poem.

Jul 27, 2008, 03:09 PM	#1 (permalink)
Astaroth Chtonian Slayer Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: you really do not want to know Posts: 562 Thanks: 23 Thanked 47 Times in 45 Posts Credits: 31,929	You Should Know This poem I dedicate to one of my newest friends that I met a few weeks ago. I often think of you as a cruise ship. You parade the vast sea Showing off your pure luxury To all those around you You only hold in your heart Those who can afford a great price And only they Can stroll about your chambers Your swimming pools and golf courses All-you-can-eat-buffets With caviar and martinis. But the beauty held within your vast compartments Your glittering halls, crystal chandeliers Plush white rugs and mirrored ceilings Is artificial. The true beauty lies far beyond you In the depths of the ocean Where we (Who have realized the foolishness) Live and thrive, We see the genuine, raw beauty Of the vast, glimmering ocean beyond you. The people you call friends Have four walls to limit their ambitions But most of all, their vision and awareness Of those beyond them. But they have plenty of pretty toys To make them think they're keeping busy My world is infinite--I have no limits. I have seen, felt, heard, smelled, and tasted The sweetness of all things to offer While you have only stayed in your place Above the ocean Believing everything underneath Is not worth your attention. I pity you, with your blissful ignorance For you will never know the beauty I have discovered beyond you. __________________ DO NOT MAKE ME UNLEASH MY INNER DEMON
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Aug 13, 2008, 10:15 AM	#2 (permalink)
Corvus Otaku Join Date: Jul 2006 Posts: 302 Thanks: 11 Thanked 31 Times in 30 Posts Credits: 15,244	Re: You Should Know Wouldn't this be slightly offensive to a friend? Unless ofcourse you meant your friend to be the speaker then she'd be like a mermaid or something and it'd be a HUGE compliment. I love the imagery and the consistency throughout. It's really quite wonderful. I can see the whole thing and even picture eyes under the ocean as I assume the point of view of the person being objectified. Which you made easy. It's great and speaks volumes of beauty and real beauty. And the age old contest between knowledge and pretty faces. Masterfully done! <10> (If the olympic judges can do it then I should be able to give out tens as well :P) __________________ ... and join my rebellion against time. http://www.animefever.org/ref/ref.ph...animefever.org
Status: Offline

Aug 13, 2008, 10:42 AM	#4 (permalink)
Corvus Otaku Join Date: Jul 2006 Posts: 302 Thanks: 11 Thanked 31 Times in 30 Posts Credits: 15,244	Re: You Should Know haha. That'd be funny but only if you understood that all of this freaking thought was under it. BTW. This is actually quite deep if you read it a few times. And the first ten I've ever rated a poem. __________________ ... and join my rebellion against time. http://www.animefever.org/ref/ref.ph...animefever.org
Status: Offline

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