+ Reply to Thread
Results 1 to 4 of 4

Thread: You Should Know

  1. #1
    Chtonian Slayer Astaroth may be famous one day Astaroth's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    you really do not want to know
    Posts
    525
    Thanks
    23
    Thanked 49 Times in 47 Posts

    You Should Know

    This poem I dedicate to one of my newest friends that I met a few weeks ago.

    I often think of you as a cruise ship.
    You parade the vast sea
    Showing off your pure luxury
    To all those around you
    You only hold in your heart
    Those who can afford a great price
    And only they
    Can stroll about your chambers
    Your swimming pools and golf courses
    All-you-can-eat-buffets
    With caviar and martinis.
    But the beauty held within your vast compartments
    Your glittering halls, crystal chandeliers
    Plush white rugs and mirrored ceilings
    Is artificial.

    The true beauty lies far beyond you
    In the depths of the ocean
    Where we
    (Who have realized the foolishness)
    Live and thrive,
    We see the genuine, raw beauty
    Of the vast, glimmering ocean beyond you.
    The people you call friends
    Have four walls to limit their ambitions
    But most of all, their vision and awareness
    Of those beyond them.
    But they have plenty of pretty toys
    To make them think they're keeping busy
    My world is infinite--I have no limits.
    I have seen, felt, heard, smelled, and tasted
    The sweetness of all things to offer
    While you have only stayed in your place
    Above the ocean
    Believing everything underneath
    Is not worth your attention.

    I pity you, with your blissful ignorance
    For you will never know the beauty
    I have discovered beyond you.
    DO NOT MAKE ME UNLEASH MY INNER DEMON

  2. #2
    Otaku Caixa 2006 Champion Corvus may be famous one day Corvus may be famous one day Corvus's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Fogcity
    Posts
    303
    Thanks
    11
    Thanked 31 Times in 30 Posts

    Re: You Should Know

    Wouldn't this be slightly offensive to a friend?
    Unless ofcourse you meant your friend to be the speaker then she'd be like a mermaid or something and it'd be a HUGE compliment.

    I love the imagery and the consistency throughout. It's really quite wonderful. I can see the whole thing and even picture eyes under the ocean as I assume the point of view of the person being objectified. Which you made easy. It's great and speaks volumes of beauty and real beauty. And the age old contest between knowledge and pretty faces.
    Masterfully done!

    <10> (If the olympic judges can do it then I should be able to give out tens as well :P)

    ... and join my rebellion against time.

  3. #3
    Femmebot Rehab Colt Crouse Champion, Bookworm Champion, Hangman Champion, Connect 2 Champion Peach_follows has become well known Peach_follows has become well known Peach_follows has become well known Peach_follows's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Location
    Friendly Fridley
    Posts
    1,477
    Thanks
    124
    Thanked 140 Times in 121 Posts

    Re: You Should Know

    Quote Originally Posted by Corvus View Post
    Wouldn't this be slightly offensive to a friend?
    Unless ofcourse you meant your friend to be the speaker then she'd be like a mermaid or something and it'd be a HUGE compliment.
    I dunno if I would take offense to it.... It is a metaphore. And it wasn't mean... just observant.

    I liked it! I've never read a poem quite like it. I think it would be a powerful thing to just walk up and say to someone. Infact I know some poeple who might need to be told that they have a cruise ship complex.
    ... Not Ever Again...

  4. #4
    Otaku Caixa 2006 Champion Corvus may be famous one day Corvus may be famous one day Corvus's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Fogcity
    Posts
    303
    Thanks
    11
    Thanked 31 Times in 30 Posts

    Re: You Should Know

    haha. That'd be funny but only if you understood that all of this freaking thought was under it.

    BTW. This is actually quite deep if you read it a few times.
    And the first ten I've ever rated a poem.

    ... and join my rebellion against time.

+ Reply to Thread

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts