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Nov 02, 2007, 11:01 AM
| #1 (permalink) |
 Sugar sweet poison  Join Date: May 2007 Location: Crystal Minnesota.
Posts: 517
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Thanked 25 Times in 24 Posts
 Credits: 13,000 | You've made your bed, now lie in it. Something twisting, pulling, churning. Disrupting my usually peacfull sleep, With wild tossing and turning. Happiness obviously doesn't come cheap. Filled with memorys as I go to bed, Dreams of you, and when it was "us" Churning up inside my head. And how it got tossed away thus. Now I'm haunted, not by a ghost, But by a bitter-sweet memory And what really hurts the most, Is the thoughts won't let me be. Telling me the mistakes I've made. Over and over again, like I can't see, The ugly inside all locked in my head. The twisted dark thoughts that tourture me. When all things are done and said, You find yourself in this deep dark pit, You've made your bed. Now lie in it.
__________________ She's always trying not to cry. But I can see the demons in her eyes. She's always trying not to yell. But you see to her, she's trapped in hell. |
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Nov 02, 2007, 11:05 AM
| #2 (permalink) |
  1 )3^^( )N  Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Somewhere i would love to leave right now for somewhere better...
Posts: 3,612
Thanks: 57
Thanked 28 Times in 25 Posts
Credits: 59,725 | Re: You've made your bed, now lie in it. wow.. @.@ powerful and nice description... a very good poem indeed,..nice.. |
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Nov 02, 2007, 11:07 AM
| #3 (permalink) |
| Sugar sweet poison Join Date: May 2007 Location: Crystal Minnesota.
Posts: 517
Thanks: 0
Thanked 25 Times in 24 Posts
Credits: 13,000 | Re: You've made your bed, now lie in it. I'm so glad that you like it. And that you think it's so powerful and such. Thanks so much.
__________________ She's always trying not to cry. But I can see the demons in her eyes. She's always trying not to yell. But you see to her, she's trapped in hell. |
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Nov 02, 2007, 11:28 AM
| #4 (permalink) |
| Slippery When Wet~  Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: The wonderfull world of Minnesota! And I mean that!
Posts: 628
Thanks: 3
Thanked 17 Times in 17 Posts
Credits: 157,471 | Re: You've made your bed, now lie in it. so much in this one, i'm not sure what to say. very interesting! wow keep up the good work! cant wait to see more!
__________________  I tryed to see things from your point of view but i cant seem to get my head that far up my ass!Visit www.highteckdudu.deviantart.com! |
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Nov 02, 2007, 01:39 PM
| #5 (permalink) |
| Verbal Vandal  Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Minneapolis, MN
Posts: 2,110
Thanks: 62
Thanked 76 Times in 70 Posts
Credits: 125,196 | Re: You've made your bed, now lie in it. This is quite powerful. I like this one, although I must say that I cannot say too much else due to the fact that I don't wanna put us "on blast" like that. Good job though. |
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Nov 02, 2007, 02:26 PM
| #6 (permalink) |
| Angelic  Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: In a Demon's Arms
Posts: 1,872
Thanks: 56
Thanked 35 Times in 32 Posts
Credits: 49,629 | Re: You've made your bed, now lie in it. Hmmmm.... This is really good- the structure is just perfect in my view and it's really, really nice to read it. You've done a wonderfool work with rhyming and rhythm and nice descriptions... just make you... kinda feel what's described. A really nice work and I hope to see more as always ^^ |
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Nov 02, 2007, 02:28 PM
| #7 (permalink) |
| Sugar sweet poison Join Date: May 2007 Location: Crystal Minnesota.
Posts: 517
Thanks: 0
Thanked 25 Times in 24 Posts
Credits: 13,000 | Re: You've made your bed, now lie in it. Thanks to you two, my two favorite commenters. Actually your all my faorite commenters cus you always encourage me so much.  I'm glad you like it so much Highteck. And thanks Sprout, I really appriciate your comments on my work. You -could- always PM me about it. 
__________________ She's always trying not to cry. But I can see the demons in her eyes. She's always trying not to yell. But you see to her, she's trapped in hell. |
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Nov 02, 2007, 05:40 PM
| #9 (permalink) |
 Newbie  Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Where you wanna' be...
Posts: 10
Thanks: 1
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Credits: 696 | Re: You've made your bed, now lie in it. Excellent work!!! And happiness doesn't come cheap sometimes you have fight for it & some people fight all their lives & never achieve that goal which is sad... I love how you captured the distraught feelings of memories of regrets... < I know I have plenty to go through > Keep up with the excellent work < Love to read more of your work.... |
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Nov 05, 2007, 12:01 AM
| #10 (permalink) |
| Sugar sweet poison Join Date: May 2007 Location: Crystal Minnesota.
Posts: 517
Thanks: 0
Thanked 25 Times in 24 Posts
Credits: 13,000 | Re: You've made your bed, now lie in it. THank you thank you for your compliments on my work.  I appriciate them all and hope you likes anything else I manage to pull outta my head.Clorox: No, happiness doesn't come cheap. And I'm afraid of the never finding it part. Thanks.
__________________ She's always trying not to cry. But I can see the demons in her eyes. She's always trying not to yell. But you see to her, she's trapped in hell. Last edited by bratling; Nov 05, 2007 at 12:34 AM. |
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