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Thread: Your Fate

  1. #1
    Newbie pickamandy859 may be famous one day pickamandy859 may be famous one day pickamandy859's Avatar
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    Your Fate

    This is a poem I wrote about a month back. Just letting you know that I have the copyright for it...lol! After you read it, tell me what you think! Enjoy!

    Blind with rage you begin to fight
    Nothing but the enemy in sight
    Anger burning in your heart
    Swords drawn, you jump with a start
    Not knowing all the wounds you bear
    For your life, you do not care
    You wish to avenge your friends so dear
    You face your death without fear
    Their bodies strewn across the floor
    Your blood is pumping though your heart is sore
    Your blows are weak and falling short
    You will not quit, you're not that sort
    Sweat is dripping in your face
    Life or death is the case
    Your weapon drops and hits the wall
    The final blow ends it all
    Brave you were at the battle's meet
    Though fallen at the enemy's feet
    As you stand and stare at heaven's gate
    You realize now that this is your fate

    -Mandy MMR
    Last edited by pickamandy859; Dec 06, 2006 at 04:07 PM. Reason: spelling! my bad!
    onora likes this.

    "I could not stop for Death
    So he kindly stopped for me"
    -Emily Dickinson

  2. #2
    Laid Back Otaku Tano-kun may be famous one day Tano-kun may be famous one day Tano-kun's Avatar
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    Cool Re: Your Fate

    yes, yes.....very good, loved the rhyme scheme and nice imagery...such a great follow-up with a sequence with a battle going on...keep it up!

  3. #3
    Domme Kasai may be famous one day Kasai may be famous one day Kasai's Avatar
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    Re: Your Fate

    I'd have to agree with Tano on the ehyme effect. It was executed wonderfully. However the imagery? Well, the visual imagery could have been a bit more.
    Seduced by Flesh


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