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Thread: Adoptive Parents

  1. #9
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    Re: Adoptive Parents

    Depends on how long a parent has been adopting a child. If it was from birth(or even by months after), then its a big deal because of course the baby will have grown accustomed to that parent.

    If i was an older child like (8-whenever), then it might have a different impact, again it might have to do with time.

    my friends parents were adoptive parents, they've looked after a 5-6month old baby, and they recently had to hand the baby back over(it has been over a year or so), and they were totally shocked, Im sure that baby thought of them as their parents,

    My family has adopted my little cousin since he was 1month old, and now he's about 3 going on 4 in june. We totally love this kid to death, He refers to nmy parents as "Daddy" & "Mum", he never will call them by their names, His Own dad(by birth), who where he knows thats it is his real dad, calls him by his name not dad.(im sure that feels bad coming from your own child but thats how it is.).,
    That kid is like the little brother i've always wanted.(years before we adpoted him, my sisters and i were wishing for a brother XD, what an answer to a prayer eh?)/.

    So , i think its all comes down to who raises and puts the time and care into raising that child becomes the parent.(that would also consider me his parent because when he was just a baby, i constant babysat him and looked after him whenever my parents were at work., One summer, i basically dedicated my whole summer looking after him while everyone was busy working. SO you can see why i think who ever cares enough for a child , that child will definitely see that person as a parent or someone to count on.

    having done this, no one refers my parents as adoptive parents to him, not even an aunt or uncle, its either dad&mum or bust,

  2. #10
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    Re: Adoptive Parents

    Differences in how they bring them up, no. Some people talk about how adoptive parents mistreat their adoptive children, and I laugh and say, "So you think real parents don't mistreat their children at all?" I understand where you're coming from, sazza, and I would definitely feel upset if I were an adoptive parent and someone told me that I could never replace a real parent. >__> Personally, NO, I do not feel that there is a need to include the word "adoptive" all the time, unless you're dealing with formalities. Come on, in most cases the child wouldn't have known any other parent!

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    Smile Re: Adoptive Parents

    Well, yes, it depends on the treatment of the adoptive parent to the child, actually. In my experience with my adoptive dad of 10 years, most adoptive parents treat their adopted child like their own; they treat the child with love. So, in a way, it's disrespectful to call adoptive parents "adoptive" all the time, especially to those who treat their adoptive children with unconditional love.

    And, I agree with some of those who say that the biological relation of a parent to his/her child doesn't matter. A true parent is a true parent when s/he treats and loves the child, nevertheless.

  4. #12
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    Re: Adoptive Parents

    A parent is a parent, no matter how you slice it...

    If you were adopted, big deal. They're your parents, plain and simple. Quit adding the "adoptive" to the sentence. The biological parents obviously didin't want to take the time to raise the kid, so whoever took on that responsibility is now the parent. Adoption has nothing to do with it.

    And not all adopted kids are mistreated. Half the people that I know are adopted, and not a single one has been mistreated because of adoption. They're treated as well as the siblings--and biological sons/daughters of the parents.

    People like to mention the adoption thing just to try to make others look bad. But adoption isn't bad. In fact, I approve of it. I just don't like how people look down on it like it's a bad thing. Yes, it's bad to abandon your kids. But if someone else wants to be the parent, let them, and don't call them "adoptive" realatives.


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    Re: Adoptive Parents

    I was adopted at 5 months old, and my mom told me all about it when I was still pretty young, maybe 5 or 6 years old. I think there was some custody battle going on at the time between a kid's adoptive and biological parents, and the biological parents won. Looking back, I realize she was truly terrified that my bio parents would show up and want to take me back; she asked me if I would want to find or be with my "real" parents, but I assured her (in little kid terms) that I would make life a hell on earth for anyone who tried to take me away from the people I considered to be my true family. Shodokan is right, adopted children tend to be fiercely loyal; for myself, I realize that adoption is a difficult and lengthy process, and most couples who go through all of that must really want to love and care for a child.

    Back to the original question, the terms "adoptive" and "biological" are just clarifiers, and serve more purpose in the legal arena than anywhere else. I can see how the terms would be demeaning to the "adoptive" parents; it's like saying they aren't "real" parents, although they're the ones who took care of the kid. But they are good parents, the child will know it and consider them his/her "real" parents, and that's all that really matters.
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