Thread: Adoptive Parents

Differences in how they bring them up, no. Some people talk about how adoptive parents mistreat their adoptive children, and I laugh and say, "So you think real parents don't mistreat their children at all?" I understand where you're coming from, sazza, and I would definitely feel upset if I were an adoptive parent and someone told me that I could never replace a real parent. >__> Personally, NO, I do not feel that there is a need to include the word "adoptive" all the time, unless you're dealing with formalities. Come on, in most cases the child wouldn't have known any other parent!

Well, yes, it depends on the treatment of the adoptive parent to the child, actually. In my experience with my adoptive dad of 10 years, most adoptive parents treat their adopted child like their own; they treat the child with love. So, in a way, it's disrespectful to call adoptive parents "adoptive" all the time, especially to those who treat their adoptive children with unconditional love.

And, I agree with some of those who say that the biological relation of a parent to his/her child doesn't matter. A true parent is a true parent when s/he treats and loves the child, nevertheless.

A parent is a parent, no matter how you slice it...

If you were adopted, big deal. They're your parents, plain and simple. Quit adding the "adoptive" to the sentence. The biological parents obviously didin't want to take the time to raise the kid, so whoever took on that responsibility is now the parent. Adoption has nothing to do with it.

And not all adopted kids are mistreated. Half the people that I know are adopted, and not a single one has been mistreated because of adoption. They're treated as well as the siblings--and biological sons/daughters of the parents.

People like to mention the adoption thing just to try to make others look bad. But adoption isn't bad. In fact, I approve of it. I just don't like how people look down on it like it's a bad thing. Yes, it's bad to abandon your kids. But if someone else wants to be the parent, let them, and don't call them "adoptive" realatives.

I was adopted at 5 months old, and my mom told me all about it when I was still pretty young, maybe 5 or 6 years old. I think there was some custody battle going on at the time between a kid's adoptive and biological parents, and the biological parents won. Looking back, I realize she was truly terrified that my bio parents would show up and want to take me back; she asked me if I would want to find or be with my "real" parents, but I assured her (in little kid terms) that I would make life a hell on earth for anyone who tried to take me away from the people I considered to be my true family. Shodokan is right, adopted children tend to be fiercely loyal; for myself, I realize that adoption is a difficult and lengthy process, and most couples who go through all of that must really want to love and care for a child.

Back to the original question, the terms "adoptive" and "biological" are just clarifiers, and serve more purpose in the legal arena than anywhere else. I can see how the terms would be demeaning to the "adoptive" parents; it's like saying they aren't "real" parents, although they're the ones who took care of the kid. But they are good parents, the child will know it and consider them his/her "real" parents, and that's all that really matters.