I used to care what everyone thought about me. I used to shut up and be the silent one of the crowd because I was scared of what they would think of me. I wanted to fit in and I thought I would do anything to do so. I was not one of those kids that grew up with everybody. I was more of the kid that moved around alot from my parents to aunts and uncles, grandparent, back to my mom. So it was kinda hard to make friends. I was always the one that was taking the blame for someone when they got into trouble and so became known as a outcast to my own family. I didn't know who I was I was so confused and I didn't know what to do. As I entered high school I began to let my true self or what I thought was my true self show. I became hated by the crowd I so wanted to be part of. Then I found a new crowd a crowd that loved to do the same things that I did and I expressed myself even more. If it wasn't for them I would still be lost and thinking I needed to do things to be excepted. It wasn't really till I was married that I really stopped caring what everyone thought about me except for one major person in my life. It's because of those friends and my husband that I can be myself today and not care what others think.
In school all the kids cared about in life was drama...I have to admit I caused alot of it myself. Now that I'm finally 18 I don't care about it. I actually want it out of my life. I used to spend money like it was nothing now I'm learning to treasure it when it's time to pay the bills and when it comes time to get things. I don't just grab just because I want anymore...I actually think about it first. I never understood what my parents went through untill I started to have to pay my husbands bills at 17 now that I'm 18 I have bills of my own on top of bills from him. I used to always say I can't wait to be 18 so I can move out but you know what I moved out at 17 and guess what it was really hard without Paul here and for right now I'm back home with my mom. 18's not to be taken lightly you think "I can't wait to do this and do that" but when it comes down to it you have 2 car payments, phone bill, internet bill, insurance payments, grocery's, light bill, and water bill. That's just some payments though. There are times to be kids too...those times are just limited. Like for me when I take the time to be a kid is when I play a game with my little sister. Before I turned 18 my sister and myself used to fight like crazy now we just get along so well. My kid side is brought out when we are just playing around. It's not bad to act like a kid as long as you know when it's time to become the adult again.