divine_punishment

All right. I work at a clothing store that sells uniforms to children. In the past few months I have seen a variety of children and a variety of behaviour. I've had a kid latched to my shin, biting my knee repeatedly while I tried to get his older brother into a pair of pants. I've had children run through the store, yanking clothing off the shelves and lashing at each other with belts. I've had boys and girls screaming at their parents, almost as loudly as the parents are yelling at the children. This made me wonder: why aren't these children being disciplined?

When I was a child, I did not disobey my parents because they were firm but loving. I was spanked but never beaten. I was grounded but never neglected.

Now, it seems that nobody will stand up to their children anymore. It seems modern parents are preoccupied with being their children's friends, which only hurts the children in the long-run. Discipline is a very fine line.

How, then, do you think parents should discipline their children?

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dude101

i think that it seems that parent these day just aren't really paying attention to their kids as much as parents have done in the past. but saying that i can see why they don't pay as much attention. i mean now parent got what 501 things to do, in most families both parents work and are quite preoccupied.

but from what i think most bad behaviour doesn't just come from parents wanting to be their friend, i think it just comes down to just plain out spoiling ur kids. it seems most ppl want a quick fix, say if their kid is crying they will just give them something to shut up, like a lolly pop, or buy them a game or something like that. they don't really try to cheer them up or show them much attention, as long as they are quiet and give them time to do the things they need to do everyone is happy, or so it seems.

i think most ppl can agree that the root most if not all misbehaving children usually lye in spoiling ur kid. because most spoiled kid believe that they are the boss of their parents which is a scary thought isn't it?.

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Peach_follows

I dissagree. I've met "spoiled" children who behave. And just becuase you a buy a kid something to shut them up. That kid may not be being spoiled... If a parent isnt taking time to teach or guide... then the real issue is the child is being emotionaly neglected. Materials have taken place of the parent.

I use both time outs, and I spank my 4 year old. I've found both methods to be rather ineffective.

He's taken time outs since he was a toddler. After a small fit, he'll stay put. But when its over he won't even think twice before continuing his behavior.

Same with spanking. And whats tricky with that is, spanking should only be used as a last resort. I know personally I over use the method. I tend to spank after I repeatedly give a comand and its not followed. Or when a time out was not effective. This will happen several times a week. Well, spanking will lose its luster. A child just gets to used to it if its done to often. The solution is to be creative. Think of something constructive. But that is difficult to do when you're angry.

I find that If I have a long talk after a time out or spanking... that helps. But I have family who discourage it. They think talking to much allows a child to think they're on your level... and as they get older they will want to debate rather than obey. Maybe thats true. But I don't care... I used to debate with my parents (I used to have some good points too). I just wanted to be heard. As a parent, I should be ready for debating.

As much as I complain that I feel methods of discipline don't work... Compared to a lot of children, mine are fairly behaived. I solve most public embarrassemt by telling my kids what I expect before I go into a store. Like if I cant afford to buy things, that way he knows not to throw a fit if theres something he wants.

As far as just being unruley in general. Thats a possitive reinforcement and/or affection issue. If a kid isnt praised when they do something right. Or if they dont get affection. They act out to get attention and/or revenge. Thank God, I shower my kids with affection... They know they can always get a hug .

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fireandice

Well I can say that if you don't have control over your childern by the time that they are five you might as well just give up. My mother spanked me when I was five an under. Too young for me to remember, but I can say that in what I do remember I can count on one hand the times after that that she spanked me when I was older. Why, you ask. Because she already had control over me so that when I got older that she really only had to threaten to do it to make me stop. And I also have to put in that to this day she is one of my best friends. So spanking your childern so something in my oppion that is needed to raise childern right. But, and I mean but, you must do it when they are under five to get the maxium use out of it. Also I was not beaten. I was given plenty of love and affection. I was also a latch-key kid growing up. And thru out everything I grew up just fine. I don't drink,smoke or even do drugs and as I said before my mom is one of my best friends. So I would have to say that discipline is something that every parent needs to do.

NevesElocin

That may be the case with some children but defintly not all. My folks will discipline me for a almost anything, that they approve wrong of course.

I think that some parents these days just don't care. Or that they need they're heads examined. There is no way a child would scream or hit me and get away with it.

And I've also known some parnets to be afraid of their kids. Don't want them to be unhappy or some bs like that. I say they'll be happier in the end when they learn they can't get away with things like some of the stuff kids do.

Either the parents teach them whats what or the police will. Thats my philosophy.

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Namida Goddess

My parents have never disciplined me or my brother and sister the way that I hear my friends have been. We have never gotten the wooden spoon or the leather belt that each of my friends say they have. I cannot recall ever being spanked and I have never been grounded. I promise you that it isn't because I get away with things, my sister and brother have been great role models for me. Whenever me or my siblings did or tried to do something wrong my mother would just pull us aside and explain to us why what we were doing was wrong and we didn't do it again. She taught us early so we did not try to disobey her or my father later in life when we gained more freedom with age. I don't think that any kind of spanking needs to be necessary if good communication is created at a young age.

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dark angel swordsman

I've never been disciplined mainly because I've never done anything wrong, but my parents have often raised their voices, threatened, etc. In my case though, I've been threatened with privledges taken away, such as Hockey, Karate, Computer, and Video games. That usually keeps me in line.

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divine_punishment

My mother is a kindergarten teacher and her favourite saying is: "If you can't control a child at five, you can't control him at fifteen." I think a lot of parents don't understand that.

I knew a woman who gave her two-year-old a DVD player because the little girl had learned how to use the toilet. I'm sorry, but I don't think she should be rewarded (that highly) for doing what she is supposed to be doing. When I was toilet-trained (a hell of a lot earlier than two years old) I got a bloody sticker and I absolutely LOVED IT! Prizes (and punishments) should be age-appropriate.

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Peach_follows

Spanking may not be necessary for you... but every child is different. I communicated with my parents. But that still didnt mean I was well behaved. It meant that I could talk. My parents tried to explain... I would argue. They took away privleges.. so what? I could sit alone, in an empty room and have the time of my life.

Spanking didn't really work for me either.

So what would YOU do if you were my parents?

I know what the solution should have been... But I had to grow up to find it out. And from a parents prespective... You can only do what you think is the best thing at the time. Thats alot of pressure. Hind sights a bitch... But I bet my parents really didnt know what to do with me.

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Joe Mage

I was disciplined by my parents, if I did somethin' wrong; I got a spankin', grounded, or whatever they deemed appropriate at the time. Yet the one thing that they always did 'fore assignin' me a punishment, they took 10. They always took 10 minutes ta calm down and think of an appropriate punishment, then they would come and talk ta us and help us figure out what it was that we had done wrong 'fore performin' the punishment. But it's not that my parents were strict, they were compared ta most parents where we were livin' at, it was that they cared so much 'bout us that they didn' want us ta get hurt or inta trouble wit the law and such. I'm thankful for what my parents did for me and wish that more would've followed their example.

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P.R. Princess

Well for me my scared me my whole life soo I dont do anything bad cause I dont want to see her mad cause she sxares me but well I weould think that yea it is good to a friend to them but when the time comes when the need to learn then thats when they should be the parent and take action.

And no parent should be afraid of there chils cause one the parent is bigger and can do alot more damage.lol.

But yea more parents should take a more active role in the childs life and disipline them right.

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