Rave_Grip

Today's society / cuture tells us to move on and get tough in order to survive in this world, and doesn't really gives us the morals, even if they do, this century is a bad time, because the morals are loosing their value. People are more focused on their jobs and career. No love, nothing.
Hell, it's more of a problem rather than to be a solution.

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Tbaism

Sorry, if you don't post it that way, it doesn't come out that way.

So when you say divorce is a problem UNLESS it is hurting one or both persons of the commitment, what is hurting suppose to mean? Does it have to be physical, mental, both; or is it suppose to be the child involved?(if there is one).

If you wake up one morning and suddenly can't stand the sight of your husband/wife, would that make a difference? What if someone is depressed and one day runs out of the house and heads to a bar and has an affair. Someone has got to be pissed about that situation.

You mentioned in your last post that people should just huff it out and quit crying. Just work through it. I thought the whole reason for getting a divorce was to remove the pain and neglect in the relationship.

What are the incorrect reasons for getting a divorce, if the very reasons(you say are reasonably ok)used for getting a divorce are wrong?

Hand it over to you.

Shodokan

What if your husband has a alcohol or drug addiction and refuses to quit?

P.S> Tbaism I'm undecided.

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xxoxx

no not the divorce is a solution ...you know why because if there are childern they will be lost ...thats ture it's solution for the mom and dad but not solution for the childern.....

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Tbaism

Oh ok lol. Been racking my brain trying to figure out if your messages are really against or for. Nice little brain teasers to have you think about the situation.

I find it so strange that people can really say that they are against divorce and should always/should always be able to, work things out, but divorce is ok only under circumstances.

Isn't divorce kinda like the last resort? Isn't that the end result and decision? People don't usually get a divorce without thinking it through, they have a reason for doing it. If it is so meager and pathetic, allowing the two people to make up, they can always remarry.

Does anyone understand that it is a piece of paper that decides whether or not you are married and can always be re-written?

XXOXX - What if there arn't any children? It is bad if there are children, but is ok if there arn't?

Linren Seishi

I so agree with white wolf.

Actually, she really comes across quite clearly (to me at least )
Getting a divorce is not just for "removing pain and neglect". It is to end a relationship and any bonds that tie two people together in the eye of the law (excluding children of course).... at least that's my perception of it.


Personally, I agree that divorce becomes a problem. I mean couples should be prepared for sacrifices by way of compromise when they decide to tie the knot. Assuredly there will be arguements and disagreements from time to time that may or may not hurt the others feelings. But they have to accept that life really is like a bed of roses (looks nice, smells nice, seems nice but thorns are EVERYWHERE!! and thorns hurt! XP) There is no need to divorce for "small things" that they'll most probably laugh at in old age together.

However, I think divorce should only be considered when abuse comes in the picture or if love has seriously decided to pack its bags, left for the other end of the universe and never looked back. There is only so much a person can handle and despite the need to fulfill that oath (till death do us part) sometimes you just have to part early (and I don't mean suicide)

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mori-oni

Divorce is the problem of many married couples, if their was no divorce then many people would think though their relationships even more so. The reson many couples even get married is that they can divorce if things don't work out, but most of the problems that cause many divorces can be worked out just by talking the problem out. I will admit that some divorces are just and are need, but in those cases the problems are mostly related to violence, this is really the only way I see that divorce is good and I that is the only way.

Sazzy

If my husband ever does that then i will stand by him and getting to see how much its not helping the relationship and try to be there for him as much as I can because I want to marry for love and not because its to stop being lonely.

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!The White Wolf

When I say 'hurting one or both persons of the commitment' I mean in any way possible. But it has to be a continuous thing that the couple has already tried dealing with. If it is abuse, whether the man is abusing his wife physically or mentally, then obviously, this is a situation that is hurting their marriage. Now, if they have already tried getting the man in therapy but nothing has helped, obviously their marriage is past 'on the rocks' and they should get a divorce immediately, seeing as how the situation is endangering both the man and woman. This scenario could go both ways, btw. Same goes for mental abuse. If someone in the marriage consistantly is saying things, putting the other down.. that's just not healthy. And if the accuser is in denial, and won't admit to his or her problem, then that relationship calls for a divorce as well. In my opinion, when there are children involved, and the first two tries do not have an effect on helping the situation, a seperation is called for, regardless.

Yes, I did mention that there are going to be times when the couple doesn't get along, and doesn't agree on certain ideas together. But those are the little things that should be helped and seen through. No one should get a divorce for frivolous things such as those. It just kills the relationship.

Tavrail

It really is a solution. I mean when you think about it everyone wins. The couple aren't forced together in some loveless marriage and are allowed to move on and have better lives.

Lets not forget that the kids win in this situation. Two sets of parents to shower love and affection on them, compete for their love doesn't sound half bad and not having to grow up with two parents who hate being with each other seems pretty good as well.

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