Thread: Is divorce the solution or the problem?

My Parents Divorce when I was 12, and I have never been so happy!

I mean nothing like getting gifts from both parents wanting you to say. Who is better.

I think its depends on the person. When it comes to Problem or solution.

But in the days you break it you bought it. ["Referring to Women's Virgin Hood"]

You would just have to stick with it. As for me I don't care if he beats me to death, as long as he's not cheating. I'll take a huge beating. v.v I know it sounds weird, but he's not getting out that easy, and if he says anything about "D" word. [Divorce]

No one will ever hear from him again. Ever~!

The best relationships must endure a lot to stay strong.

The Problem is when he's cheating and brings something home. -_-ll that means war of course!

If you get HIV from your Husband or any STD, I say divorce is in the right hands, Why die for this fool? -_-ll Better or less just kill him. Its better to be a widow then paying child support.

Divorce: Depends on the situation. End of story there~

Divorce is the problem of many married couples, if their was no divorce then many people would think though their relationships even more so. The reson many couples even get married is that they can divorce if things don't work out, but most of the problems that cause many divorces can be worked out just by talking the problem out. I will admit that some divorces are just and are need, but in those cases the problems are mostly related to violence, this is really the only way I see that divorce is good and I that is the only way.

Originally Posted by Shodokan

What if your husband has a alcohol or drug addiction and refuses to quit?

P.S> Tbaism I'm undecided.

If my husband ever does that then i will stand by him and getting to see how much its not helping the relationship and try to be there for him as much as I can because I want to marry for love and not because its to stop being lonely.

Originally Posted by Tbaism

Sorry, if you don't post it that way, it doesn't come out that way.

So when you say divorce is a problem UNLESS it is hurting one or both persons of the commitment, what is hurting suppose to mean? Does it have to be physical, mental, both; or is it suppose to be the child involved?(if there is one).

If you wake up one morning and suddenly can't stand the sight of your husband/wife, would that make a difference? What if someone is depressed and one day runs out of the house and heads to a bar and has an affair. Someone has got to be pissed about that situation.

You mentioned in your last post that people should just huff it out and quit crying. Just work through it. I thought the whole reason for getting a divorce was to remove the pain and neglect in the relationship.

What are the incorrect reasons for getting a divorce, if the very reasons(you say are reasonably ok)used for getting a divorce are wrong?

Hand it over to you.

When I say 'hurting one or both persons of the commitment' I mean in any way possible. But it has to be a continuous thing that the couple has already tried dealing with. If it is abuse, whether the man is abusing his wife physically or mentally, then obviously, this is a situation that is hurting their marriage. Now, if they have already tried getting the man in therapy but nothing has helped, obviously their marriage is past 'on the rocks' and they should get a divorce immediately, seeing as how the situation is endangering both the man and woman. This scenario could go both ways, btw. Same goes for mental abuse. If someone in the marriage consistantly is saying things, putting the other down.. that's just not healthy. And if the accuser is in denial, and won't admit to his or her problem, then that relationship calls for a divorce as well. In my opinion, when there are children involved, and the first two tries do not have an effect on helping the situation, a seperation is called for, regardless.

Yes, I did mention that there are going to be times when the couple doesn't get along, and doesn't agree on certain ideas together. But those are the little things that should be helped and seen through. No one should get a divorce for frivolous things such as those. It just kills the relationship.

It really is a solution. I mean when you think about it everyone wins. The couple aren't forced together in some loveless marriage and are allowed to move on and have better lives.

Lets not forget that the kids win in this situation. Two sets of parents to shower love and affection on them, compete for their love doesn't sound half bad and not having to grow up with two parents who hate being with each other seems pretty good as well.

Divorce is nothing good, but sometimes you just have to do it, it's much better to get divorced than to live together hating each other. Ofcourse the children are hurt by this but I also think that it's even worse if they grow up seeing their parents fighting and hating, seeing no love... Children learn a lot from their parents and theylearn to love like that too, but if thy see their parents living amisserable, hating life, they could figure out that it must be like that and again we will have another hating person...
I think that you have to make shure you won't have to divorce by living to gether for a greater time and founding out if you really fit together and will be able to stand each other for the rest of your life. Ofcourse you can never be shure about that, but...

Originally Posted by Linren Seishi

I so agree with white wolf.
Actually, she really comes across quite clearly (to me at least )
Getting a divorce is not just for "removing pain and neglect". It is to end a relationship and any bonds that tie two people together in the eye of the law (excluding children of course).... at least that's my perception of it.

So you are saying people just get a divorce just for the hell of it? They still love each other, still care for one another, but just wake up one morning and say "Hey, let's get a divorce". Even if that did happen, that is probably the rarest possibility ever! They remove those bonds that tie them together because they don't want to be next to each other anymore. There is a reason for that obviously, they don't do it for fun.

The reason for getting a divorce is to remove the pain and neglect in the relationship. Whether it is physical abuse, mental abuse, just falling apart, not talking with each other, having no other options. If People are pissed off about another's actions, they don't want to stick around it all the time.

It is hard to get rid of a habit. It is hard to get rid of reflexes. Conditioning a human being takes time and effort. Reversing that takes even more time and effort usually.

What is a "little thing"? what is a "frivalous" thing? You may think it is small and insignificant, but to those people it can mean the world. Don't go around saying that crap if you aren't in their position or are them. Go ask for the reasons a divorce happened in your family or between people you know about. Then ask the people why they feel they needed a divorce. Then ask them if the situation meant something to them. Yeah you can say it was meaningless, but you arn't taking into account what they believe or feel.

If you ever whine about someone pulling your hair, someone said a bad word to me, someone pissed me off, and others don't really care much at all. Your process of thinking is what has them acting/feeling that way. You could be pissed off for the rest of your life and quite a few people will just say it was insignificant.

Of course it is almost like noone knows what really happens in a relationship and/or actually understands them. Maybe noone tries to understand those people and what they are going through, feelings, believing, reacting, and instead just call it all insignificant. Perhaps it just people like me who work in that field and try to help those people. We don't say it is simply insignificant, we try to guide them and always try to relate and understand. We have actually been there and know what they are going through, so it isn't that hard for us to say "we understand".