ice viper

Do you think parents are over protecting of their children? I will give you an example.

A friend I know moved out from her parent’s house. She is now making it out on her own and is working two jobs. However she is having some Trouble with keeping up with her bills, at the same time her sister is planning a wedding. Her sister is making her buy her own dress when she said that she can’t afford the dress. Her parents are black mail her saying that they will help but on one condition is she gets a new job with forty hours or move back in with her parents.

Does that sound extreme?
Are they lettering her stand on her own two feet or not?
What does she need to do to stop this?

Once the thread is started I will put in my two cents.

Miroku4444

Well in this case it isn't a matter of over protecting, its a issue of control. The parents are trying to control her thru this blackmail.

Now about the issue in general, no parents Arent over protecting of their children. Its quite the opposite. There not watching them enough, because of laziness or there too busy or just dont care.

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bbZuSh

Hmmm. Mine are overprotecting :| I'm never allowed to do ANYTHING without their permission. That would mean for even spending my own money, I have to ask :S But in her case, it's totally blackmailing. If I had moved out (had I been allowed to, but hey, I'm not even 18 yet :P ) and I had money probs, maybe they would have helped me out but not blackmail me in coming back :S

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WishIcouldlivemore

They are trying to help her out they want her to be stable when she goes out on her own because her parents know that they're children are growing up but they want them to be secure because as soon as you sever that bond for independance you can never get it back without losing pride.

In any case most parents these days are overprotective because they really love their kids it seems obvious but just wait till you have a kid.

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aceman67

I have to say that your parents aren't being overprotective, like Miroku said, its a matter of control.

My parents were just the same as yours, but now that I look back at it after spending a couple years living on my own, I see that they were just trying to teach me to save money properly, and now I have good enough credit to buy myself a car, and even though I am renting a room in my parents basement, I'm saving up cash to rent an apartment in June.

Being overprotective is something along the lines of your dad threatening to kill your Boyfriend if he so much as looks at you with ill-intentions on his mind.

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Cain

I think nowadays parents are either abusive or they are too overprotective almost to the point where it seems like its abuse. I rarely come across a friend who has a good parent but when I do I have to admit I'm relieved. Maybe it's just where I live but for some reason parents are just messing up.

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elvin

these days.... children and parents think of the very different ways... sometime, both of them want to stand still on their own and so quarrel happens.... happy family came from well understand between each other... my family looks like a 'happy family' but i don't think so because i'm not happy staying with them.... i'm studying in a college and yet i'm working for my extra pocket money.... dad limit my pocket money every month... everything i buy must ask his permission.... to avoid that, i didn't go home always, and i seldom chat with him..... the problem is they don't understand your need, your feeling.... so they want you to follow.... for them, its for your own good. but at your side, you're actually feeling bad.... however, parents do everything to make them self happy, for me. why don't we just follow what they want while they are no longer living with us...

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ice viper

Ok so…..it’s her parents trying to control her even when she moved out from their house. Since I known her she moved out from her parents place after high school but had to return because of some personal matters but at the same time they were controlling her not to be with her boyfriend and that ended wrong. She has told me that she is going to talk with them soon that explain to them that she is not going to get a forty hour job but come up with some alternate way to stand on her own. She said that she is trying to come up with some way to expand one of her jobs and make more money that way.

Descended From Darkness

I think that some parents seem a little more lax nowadays. Or maybe its just me. My dad is very overprotective of me to the point where I think he's paranoid. (He won't let me ride with other people, makes me save my money, etc.) That may seem controlling but he does give me good reasons and tells me of his experiences when he was growing so I better understand the logic behind the crazyness. In a way I am fine with what he's saying and it is actually molding me into a better person and it is shaping my understanding of the real world.

I think parents should at least give reason behind their rules or else the kids are going to run rampant and get themselves into bigger trouble. The problem is that most parents think being a friend is the best solution or controlling them.

But saying that your parents are "over-protective" is a little extreme. I don't think most kids understand why there are curfews and rules that are put in place and that's something I have come to understand in the past few years. My parents love me dearly and I'm all they have as far as next of kin(unless you count our dog). They want to make sure that I have the best of life and that I have enough love to share it with my kids. And that I will be able to succeed in the future.

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Akura13

yeah, my cousin way too overprotective...or more like a power control. He never lets me do anything, stay at home by myself, or lets me go outside by myself and I'm 16 for crying out loud! It's rediculouse! And as for blackmail, that deffinatly a power thing I think, not overprotective...

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Draconos167

My mom got overprotective to the point where I finally rebelled so much she had to send me to live w/ my aunt here in loisiana
This is my first post in a long time b/c i was always grounded at home...