Family Affection

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Originally Posted by LichGRIFFIN

True ,it may relate to the cultural habits ,but i'd hope someone tell us what possible culture have this?

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my family is european, from most of every country in europe and some of them kiss realitives on the mouth, side of the mouth, or the cheek, along with hugs. others do the air cheek kiss. Ive had one kiss me full on the mouth, but it was closed lipped, i thought it was weird too.

he explained thats how he was taught to do it as most do where he was born. Ive since learned many other cultures do something like it or close to it, which is about affection, and love of family. nothing other than that.

though i will say there are a lot of perverts out there still, and you never really know about it. Its usually people you dont expect either. So you never really know if their doing it from affection, or other reasons, so i dont judge people since i dont know what their thinking.

Well, we are differently to each other. If they find that thing as their means of love and affection then let them do it provided the man doesn't do anything more than to that. Ok.

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Originally Posted by Zev

I went to the store the other day, I'm assuming I saw a father kiss his daughter on the mouth. I thought it was really gross and awkward. I come from a family that barely hugs one another though. So I just wanted to hear some of your thoughts on whether you find that behavior ok, or really awkward.

Like a kiss on the forehead would have been way more acceptable, that kissing his young daughter on the lips! Yuck.

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It depends on the age of the kid. I can remember when I was very very young and my parents would kiss me good night or good bye. Yeah, occasionally I'd get a kiss on the lips from mom or dad. Big deal. I was like four years old! I kiss my son occasionally. It's not like I'm getting a rise out of it--no pun intended, LOL. :laugh:

If the kid's like 5-17, then there's a problem. I can understand if the kid's older and you kiss him/her on the forehead or cheek, but if the man was kissin' his 13 year old daughter on the mouth (I just picked a random age for example), then that's just gross and he's probably doin' more then that when they're not in public. *EEWWW!!!*

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Originally Posted by Scourge

I believe I have already stated that mine does, which is Serbian.

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Sorry ,i somehow missed that out.
eitherway people have their own ways of doing things regardless of how it might be shown to others.

well the affection my family has is whatever. my parents tell me they love me all the time but i can go months maybe a year without saying it. unless the say " k " say you love me back and sometimes i do. but if the girl was like 3 its okay, but anyolder than that i think he should have kissed her on the cheek or forhead. but it might be something that his family does or mayb he miss the cheek and kiss lips or it just a clutral thing.

When I read these responses I feel like I am basically being called a pedophile! Many of you seem to have a warped sense of what is inappropriate and abusive in my opinion. Just because you have some weird issue, or some strange standard of what you think is unacceptable. That doesn't mean you have the right to judge others, who were likely not doing anything with ill intent (Or he wouldn't have kissed her in public)

Its ridiculous to me those of you saying that you cant kiss your child on the lips... Or somehow, because a little girl becomes older than 3 or 5... She somehow is too old for her father to kiss her. When I think she is actually becoming old enough to express discomfort. Thusly, if she doesn't seem grossed out by it then why should it matter? I dont remember when I stopped receiving kisses from my father... No one ever made a big deal about it. Growing up, I natrually started seeking less affection and more space. But I still welcome my dad with a big hug when I see him. I still kiss my dad too... not on the mouth, but If I did... I don't think either of us would think twice about it and I'm 26. My family is very affectionate.

With that said... I still kiss my 6 year old. Yep even on the lips. Often its because HE is the one to plant me one right on mouth. He seeks affection. He also still climbs on my lap sometimes... and wants to be held. Some people tell him and me, that he is too huggy and clingy. It doesn't really bother me (unless I would rather not be bothered). He seeks this affection much less now than he did as a younger boy and I assume it will decrease even more as he continues to grow. I know I would feel like much worse of a parent if I made him feel ashamed of wanting my affection. Or if I made him feel like there was something wrong with giving mommy a kiss. Im sure he will grow out of this on his own, and I will be the one embarrassing him when I try even for a kiss on the cheek. At some point a child grows up and probably starts associating a kiss on the mouth as... y'know something you do to appeal to someone in a sexual way. Im pretty sure at that point they arent too kissy and huggy on their moms and dads (too busy looking for affection elsewhere). But I personally don't ever want my son thinking hes too old for my affection. Sometimes, no matter how old you are... you find you still want that secure embrace only a parent can give.

I have felt so emotionally distraught even in recent years that I still find I wanna just cuddle up and cry to mom or dad. I remember after a serious car accident I was showered with "Thank God you're alright " kisses from my dad. Do you think I payed any attention where those kisses landed? I had to make a really hard choice recently. It kinda overwhelmed and almost emotionally devestated me... I literally broke down and collapsed into my mothers arms. In that moment... no matter if I was a mom... I needed affection from my own mom. Honestly I don't think it alarms either parent when I seek affection, its rare and warranted.

One interesting thing is that my mother said she wasn't raised in an overly affectionate home... and they didn't get all huggy. But that I was just born a really affectionate baby, (and thus became an affectionate mother). I never had a therapist or doctor or any other professional tell me it was a problem.

wow i hold the line at the cheek but the mouth....thers something gowing on with them

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Originally Posted by neko nathaniel

wow i hold the line at the cheek but the mouth....thers something gowing on with them

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oookay so when a child seeks affection from a parent, and thats how they were raised, theirs something wrong with how their raised then? or with the parents who could be good parents and only want that love and affection from their child while they can still get it is in the wrong?


i dont really understand why its such a big deal since many children are raised to show affection like that to their parents and family. its only if it goes a step beyond it that somethings wrong. Children are only children for so long and many parents know it, so any kind of affection is welcome while they can still can get that kind. when they get older well they dont want to even be in the same room with their parents that much let alone show any affection towards them.

its okay, but if it goes past that into something else then thats the only time when someone should worry about it. Most parents just want affection while its still aviable for them to easily access, than when their older and more likley to show it to someone their interested in a sexual way, and parents are the no friendly zone.