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Thread: Family Affection

  1. #25
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    Re: Family Affection

    I'm hispanic so everyone is always kissing everyone else. It's different depending on culture and family background. In America you're bound to see something that you find unusual because of the high level of cultural diversity. I would imagine it's the same in other areas as well. (Most of the time.)

  2. #26
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    Re: Family Affection

    Quote Originally Posted by Peach_follows View Post
    When I read these responses I feel like I am basically being called a pedophile! Many of you seem to have a warped sense of what is inappropriate and abusive in my opinion. Just because you have some weird issue, or some strange standard of what you think is unacceptable. That doesn't mean you have the right to judge others, who were likely not doing anything with ill intent (Or he wouldn't have kissed her in public)

    Its ridiculous to me those of you saying that you cant kiss your child on the lips... Or somehow, because a little girl becomes older than 3 or 5... She somehow is too old for her father to kiss her. When I think she is actually becoming old enough to express discomfort. Thusly, if she doesn't seem grossed out by it then why should it matter? I dont remember when I stopped receiving kisses from my father... No one ever made a big deal about it. Growing up, I natrually started seeking less affection and more space. But I still welcome my dad with a big hug when I see him. I still kiss my dad too... not on the mouth, but If I did... I don't think either of us would think twice about it and I'm 26. My family is very affectionate.

    With that said... I still kiss my 6 year old. Yep even on the lips. Often its because HE is the one to plant me one right on mouth. He seeks affection. He also still climbs on my lap sometimes... and wants to be held. Some people tell him and me, that he is too huggy and clingy. It doesn't really bother me (unless I would rather not be bothered). He seeks this affection much less now than he did as a younger boy and I assume it will decrease even more as he continues to grow. I know I would feel like much worse of a parent if I made him feel ashamed of wanting my affection. Or if I made him feel like there was something wrong with giving mommy a kiss. Im sure he will grow out of this on his own, and I will be the one embarrassing him when I try even for a kiss on the cheek. At some point a child grows up and probably starts associating a kiss on the mouth as... y'know something you do to appeal to someone in a sexual way. Im pretty sure at that point they arent too kissy and huggy on their moms and dads (too busy looking for affection elsewhere). But I personally don't ever want my son thinking hes too old for my affection. Sometimes, no matter how old you are... you find you still want that secure embrace only a parent can give.

    I have felt so emotionally distraught even in recent years that I still find I wanna just cuddle up and cry to mom or dad. I remember after a serious car accident I was showered with "Thank God you're alright " kisses from my dad. Do you think I payed any attention where those kisses landed? I had to make a really hard choice recently. It kinda overwhelmed and almost emotionally devestated me... I literally broke down and collapsed into my mothers arms. In that moment... no matter if I was a mom... I needed affection from my own mom. Honestly I don't think it alarms either parent when I seek affection, its rare and warranted.

    One interesting thing is that my mother said she wasn't raised in an overly affectionate home... and they didn't get all huggy. But that I was just born a really affectionate baby, (and thus became an affectionate mother). I never had a therapist or doctor or any other professional tell me it was a problem.
    That's you and--to be quite honest, in my opinion and no one else's--six is too old for all that huggy, clingy sh*t. The only reason I say that is when I was six or seven years old, I was told the same thing and it makes sense. I couldn't even say "daddy" or "mommy" any more; I had to say "mom" or "dad". There comes a time when a child needs to grow up and act his age--in your case.

    It would be different if he acted his age in that aspect and wasn't seeking that much attention/affection. We're talking about parents and children who probably don't share the same relationship. I can understand your case but, we're talking about apples and oranges. It's not your actions we're talking about either, but the actions of two humans who--more than likely--don't have the same type of relationship as parent and child.


    Quote Originally Posted by clover View Post
    oookay so when a child seeks affection from a parent, and thats how they were raised, theirs something wrong with how their raised then? or with the parents who could be good parents and only want that love and affection from their child while they can still get it is in the wrong?


    i dont really understand why its such a big deal since many children are raised to show affection like that to their parents and family. its only if it goes a step beyond it that somethings wrong. Children are only children for so long and many parents know it, so any kind of affection is welcome while they can still can get that kind. when they get older well they dont want to even be in the same room with their parents that much let alone show any affection towards them.

    its okay, but if it goes past that into something else then thats the only time when someone should worry about it. Most parents just want affection while its still aviable for them to easily access, than when their older and more likley to show it to someone their interested in a sexual way, and parents are the no friendly zone.
    Yeah, but five or six is past 'toddler' stage and usually--at least when I was a child--we were supposed to act like "school children". Kids who don't go seeking too much affection because, we're too busy trying to go and play; or chase ice-cream trucks. Something like that. So, if you look at it like that, don't you think that age is too old for an adult to be showing that kind of affection?

    Hell, I've seen parents who have/had INFANTS who've never kissed them on the lips! It's a matter of personal opinion and in mine, six (at the most) is too old for parents/children to be embracing each other like that.


  3. #27
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    Re: Family Affection

    Quote Originally Posted by atomik_sprout View Post

    That's you and--to be quite honest, in my opinion and no one else's--six is too old for all that huggy, clingy sh*t. The only reason I say that is when I was six or seven years old, I was told the same thing and it makes sense. I couldn't even say "daddy" or "mommy" any more; I had to say "mom" or "dad". There comes a time when a child needs to grow up and act his age--in your case.

    It would be different if he acted his age in that aspect and wasn't seeking that much attention/affection. We're talking about parents and children who probably don't share the same relationship. I can understand your case but, we're talking about apples and oranges. It's not your actions we're talking about either, but the actions of two humans who--more than likely--don't have the same type of relationship as parent and child.
    And ^ THAT is you. Seriously, everything that everyone has said in this thread is based solely on their opinion and background; so thanks for telling us what we already know, but we don't really need the reminder. And frankly, to be told you can't call your parents "mommy" and "daddy" at the tender age of six is really messed up. Yes, there comes a time when a child needs to grow up, but that usually doesn't happen until they move out and can support themselves on their own.

    And if we are talking about a six year old acting his age.. I'm pretty sure kissing his "mommy" and holding on to dear life, never wanting to let go is completely valid behavior.

    Quote Originally Posted by atomik_sprout View Post
    but, we're talking about apples and oranges. It's not your actions we're talking about either, but the actions of two humans who--more than likely--don't have the same type of relationship as parent and child.
    ..What? This entire paragraph is completely redundant.

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  5. #28
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    Re: Family Affection

    ok ok ok enuf god lol stop the fighting lol when i sed that was rong i ment it in a way of..
    'is the kid old enuf to know not to do that like 7 and up?' and so on nothing more lol

    thers nothing rong with it if u are still a little kid but if u are older then 7 the thers some thing up just saying

  6. #29
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    Re: Family Affection

    I couldn't even say "daddy" or "mommy" any more; I had to say "mom" or "dad". There comes a time when a child needs to grow up and act his age--in your case.
    Oh yeah?..... well Micheal Jackson could only call his daddy "Joseph". I was just watching that interview where he said he just wanted to call his father "Daddy" so bad... but was never allowed. So he made "Never Land" and decided he would never grow up (and young boys became his favorite overnight company)! I think that screws your theory all to hell.... lol
    five or six is past 'toddler' stage and usually--at least when I was a child--we were supposed to act like "school children". Kids who don't go seeking too much affection because, we're too busy trying to go and play; or chase ice-cream trucks. Something like that. So, if you look at it like that, don't you think that age is too old for an adult to be showing that kind of affection?
    My son still acts school aged. Just because a kid grows up doesn't mean they grow out of wanting (or needing ) affection. I allow my son to grow up on his own. I fully expect for him to change his level of affection and the way he shows it to me... and the way I show it to him... But, as long as he is my son... I am not going to shame him for wanting a kiss. Not now, not ever.
    ok ok ok enuf god lol stop the fighting
    well, it is a debate and discussion thread.

    My point is... you all can have your own weird little corks and standards. If you don't wanna kiss your kids, or let them kiss you.... don't.
    But don't judge me for being affectionate to mine. That is what is really crossing the line. (not kissing kids)

    My only concern for my son and his clingyness is he needs to learn that affection is only ok if it's permitted by a person. Its not ok to just go up and start hugging on people (the whole personal bubble issue). He needs to know that Im the only adult who can kiss him... Now kissing other peoples kids can be a little weird to me... (unless I know them and know its ok.. because I have had drooly toddlers just come up and try to whop their nasty drool kisses on my face, and the mothers look @ me like "Oh look little Johnny wants a kiss, isn't that swweeeeet?").

    Now... if someone were doing something inappropriate I would be more concerned about the YOUTH of the child. I think under six and they may not know if bad touch is bad touch. So if you ask me.... if you're wondering if a child feels abused you should be more worried about 6 and under. They can't speak up for themselves as well as an older child might be able to.
    Last edited by Peach_follows; Jul 23, 2009 at 11:07 PM.
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  7. #30
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    Re: Family Affection

    ...ummmm well......ok u got me on that but u never know if thing are that way tho.some kids might be razed knowing that thos bad things are ok.

  8. #31
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    Re: Family Affection

    Ok so i hug my mom and dad also kiss them sometimes jezze. And i'm 12 for gods sake!
    Last edited by fellhound001; Jul 25, 2009 at 11:39 AM.
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  9. #32
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    Re: Family Affection

    ok see thers nothing rong with that as long as thers nothing els gowing on.if thers was more to it then ya that wold be rong.and what i mean by more to it 'sex,looking for more then just love as a kid frome them, and so on

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