Thread: Forgive a Killer or Not..?

Well that's a tuff one. On one hand if it was an accident then yes I could forgive. Accidents happen all the time. But if it was intentional than I would have a real problem with it. Also if it was an useless act of violence I would have a hard time. To be truthful I would have to say no to begin with and then hope with the passing of time that I would be able to forgive. The question that you ask is hard for anyone to answer due to the fact that nobody really knows what they would do untill they are put into that situation. We all hope to do the right thing but that sometimes dosen't happen.

Wow, this is a good question. My thoughts automatically shift to my kids and what I'd do\feel if it were them that died.

I think weather or not I could forgive would depend largely on why or how it happened. Was it an accident or was it intentional?

Even if it was an accident... I dunno. Like the whole cop shooting the kid. If it were my kid... I know Id at least be holding a grudge for quite some time.
But say it were my sister, and she backed out the driveway and accidently ran over my child. Thats different. Because I love my sister. And I know she loves my children. So I know she'd feel extremely horrible.

Ack...this is making my brain hurt... So all in all I'd say this. No matter how or why it happened. Its important to forgive becuase holding grudges only hurts oneself. This isn't to say I would be able to do it. But everyday I couldn't find it in my heart to do so... Id pray to find the strength. And, I'd hope eventually I could put my resentment, anger, or pain to rest.

Originally Posted by Inuruto

Okay..! Today I was watching CNN of a woman who gave her son's killer forgiveness... *That got me thinking*... So my question to all of you on AO is can you find it in your heart to forgive your love ones' killer so to speak.?. Why or why not.?. Do you even believe in forgiveness when something like that comes into play.?.

Forgiveness is not born into humans; it is something we have to learn. We are initially very selfish beings (think back to childhood, esp. infancy, when your needs were most important to you). I've known people who have had to face their loved one's killer . . . I admire their courage. If it were me (which I hope it never is), I think it would be hard at first to accept not only that my loved one was dead but also that someone was responsible. After a time (and much prayer), I think I might be able to forgive that person. I mean, if John Paul II can forgive the guy who shot him and Jesus can forgive the people who betrayed Him and murdered Him brutally, then I think I can TRY to forgive a killer. That's what I think.

Maybe if it was a total freak accident, something that absolutely couldn't have been avoided, I might be able to at least work through the pain and rage I'd feel at a loved one's death at someone else's hands. But most "accidents" are the result of carelessness, recklessness, or stupidity, and any of those would make it unforgivable. I've never been in such a situation, and I hope I never will, but I already know that there's no room for forgiveness in me. As much as it would eat away at my life to be consumed with hatred and anger, I'd feel I was doing a disservice to my loved one by forgiving his/her killer; I might as well just piss on their grave while I'm at it.

If it was an accident, like they lost control of their car and killed someone, yes i could forgive them. If they did it intentionally like they raped and brutally killed someone, no i could never forgive them. I might understand them in some circumstances, but not forgive.

Okay the cop is shooting at a snake, is it about to bite someone? If no, then is there no animal control in Oklahoma?......

Okay I just read that story, no sorry. No forgiveness for those cops, they didn't even tell the kids grandpa they where the ones shooting. And like I asked above is there no Animal control? Heck my father killed two rattle snakes just last week with a garden hoe, so firing a couple 9mm rounds at a snake in a tree wasn't needed.

As for a killer who hurt someone I cared about getting forgiven, not a chance. There would be no forgiveness even after I tortured the piece of crap to death. I would drop everything else in my life my goal would be vengeance/revenge whatever you want to call it.

I'm not a terribly forgiving person. Probably because I'm not a terribly religious one and can see very little practical application to pretending someone who has done something terrible isn't incredibly likely to turn around and do it again if you give them the chance.

In the case of someone intentionally (or out of sheer stupidity) taking the life of another human being (especially a loved one), I think forgiveness is one of the silliest things one could possibly expect (much less demand) from a victim.

My own father was killed by a man passing a mack truck on a double solid around a mountain curve: I won't forgive him. I don't dwell on it or make it my point in life to make his as miserable as humanly possible: but I did do my best to get his liscence taken away from him for as long as humanly possible.

Forgiveness is quite a lovely concept... but most people it's given to have done very little to deserve it.