Sazzy

Recently I found some information about a close friend that they never told me about and I felt a little crushed that they kept things from me. of course I don't want to confront my friend as its intrusive.The way I found out was through a friend who always seems to tell me things about my friends past. It does annoy me that they keep telling me things but also hurt that my friend didn't tell me.

My question to you is should we really pry into others business and if they don't wish to tell us then its their choice or should we know everything about our friends??

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kedar

I came out as an introvert, so most of what's in my mind generally doesn't surface itself for others' regard, unless I feel it's critical for them to know.

Thus I believe certain somethings are better left unsought after. I wouldn't call it wrong to express concern by being inquisitive, but just the same, one must also respect others' intentions for wanting to arrest whatever matter (those which doesn't concern you ~) from seeping out. And besides, everyone has at least a thing or two that they keep hidden even from their dear-most someone, voluntarily or involuntarily... Lastly.. in reference to hidden pasts, it's good to have a friend who accepts you without wanting to know what you once were than for what you are now. And it's best, I believe, not to let anyone exhume some parts of your being, so to maintain a shade of mystery about you.

fireandice

Well you don't have to pry just let then know if there is anything that they wish to talk about that you'd be there to listen to them unjudgementaly. If they tell you then you'll know but if they choose not to then don't push it. If they truly trust you then they may tell you someday. Reguardless I would never let your friend know that you already knew "it" about them. Just keep that info to yourself.

dark angel swordsman

I'd say if they want to talk about it, they can. If they don't, then don't try to obtain it otherwise. Some people have secrets they want to keep secrets. I myself don't try to "pry" into, nor do I openly speak of everything in my mind. Some people are protective, while others are not. Simple.

Today, I overheard one of my friends talking behind about what's happening to her and her Boyfriend. It wasn't on purpose, but I heard what she was keeping away from near everyone else in the school. It's not because I wanted to listen, it's only because I was there.

In conclusion, I like knowing things, but I'm not going to go all crazy over it if I don't hear something.

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Inuruto

I see where you are coming from & why you would want to know some of the things that haven't been spoken to you by your friend...

What everyone else said so far is understandable & has very good points... I for myself would want a friend that will or wouldn't mind telling me anything about their past, present, & future... Just for the fact that they should know that I wouldn't be judgemental & won't stop liking/loving them for who they are... But I can understand why they might hold certain things back because you can always assume how people might act when they get a hold to certain information, but you don't actually know... We like to persume the best in people, but that is not always the case... We/people seen ourselves whether it's real life or in movies how people turn/change cause they learned a secret or anything that was abnormal to the person they thought they knew...

Shodokan

Only a chick would make a thread like this. Let's see how would I explain this to a chick since I'm a guy. I usually don't confide in people and platonic friend's are the only ones who seem to care about that fact. Just because your friend doesn't confide in you doesn't make them any less of a friend.

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Joe Mage

I understand bein' hurt by the fact that ur friend didn' come clean and tell u somethin' 'bout their past, but like Shodokan said, it doesn' make them any less of a friend. I also agree wit Kedar on this, even though ur bein' inquisitive 'bout any of ur friends' past may b done outta care and concern, it's better ta show ur friends that u respect their privacy. This also shows them that they can trust u and that they can come ta u wit things like this, even though it may not b right away. Friendship means havin' patience and understandin', ta learn ta accept people for who they r and ta never judge them based on their past.

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yuki chan

HolderOfTheDarkChalice

things that are hidden are hidden for a reason
it isnt like there agenda is to hurt you or even
make you like stupid by not saying anything while
you pour your heart out.

i know i have hiddena few things from freinds
because i just figured that telling them was just
to emberassing or to hard , and it might change
how they look at me so hiding things is more of
a way to save a freindship and for them to
see me how they did when we first met.

but that goes for anyone who hides things
it is unfair but it also saves freinds from going there
seperate ways i think.

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Sazzy

ok thanks for the information about a friend keeping secrets. However, I wasn't being totally honest. the friend is more than that but someone very close to me. I know they want to keep their past behind them but its when I get told their past but SOMEONE else. I was more annoyed that they told me another person's secrets, going behind their back and telling someone things that they may not want to be told.

I'll change the title of the thread to make it more understandable.

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P.R. Princess

Well to me it would depend on what it is.
Like things that have happend to them that have scared them for life they might not wish to talk about. For example like seeing someone die or something like that.

But things that may ruin a friendship then I think you should have a right to at least ask. And there is no harm in asking. I mean if they are your friend then they will understand.
But that is what I think.

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