Thread: Hidden Pasts, Betraying Trust.

Originally Posted by dancy_SAZ

My question to you is should we really pry into others business and if they don't wish to tell us then its their choice or should we know everything about our friends??

I came out as an introvert, so most of what's in my mind generally doesn't surface itself for others' regard, unless I feel it's critical for them to know.

Thus I believe certain somethings are better left unsought after. I wouldn't call it wrong to express concern by being inquisitive, but just the same, one must also respect others' intentions for wanting to arrest whatever matter (those which doesn't concern you ~) from seeping out. And besides, everyone has at least a thing or two that they keep hidden even from their dear-most someone, voluntarily or involuntarily... Lastly.. in reference to hidden pasts, it's good to have a friend who accepts you without wanting to know what you once were than for what you are now. And it's best, I believe, not to let anyone exhume some parts of your being, so to maintain a shade of mystery about you.

Well you don't have to pry just let then know if there is anything that they wish to talk about that you'd be there to listen to them unjudgementaly. If they tell you then you'll know but if they choose not to then don't push it. If they truly trust you then they may tell you someday. Reguardless I would never let your friend know that you already knew "it" about them. Just keep that info to yourself.

I'd say if they want to talk about it, they can. If they don't, then don't try to obtain it otherwise. Some people have secrets they want to keep secrets. I myself don't try to "pry" into, nor do I openly speak of everything in my mind. Some people are protective, while others are not. Simple.

Today, I overheard one of my friends talking behind about what's happening to her and her Boyfriend. It wasn't on purpose, but I heard what she was keeping away from near everyone else in the school. It's not because I wanted to listen, it's only because I was there.

In conclusion, I like knowing things, but I'm not going to go all crazy over it if I don't hear something.

I see where you are coming from & why you would want to know some of the things that haven't been spoken to you by your friend...

What everyone else said so far is understandable & has very good points... I for myself would want a friend that will or wouldn't mind telling me anything about their past, present, & future... Just for the fact that they should know that I wouldn't be judgemental & won't stop liking/loving them for who they are... But I can understand why they might hold certain things back because you can always assume how people might act when they get a hold to certain information, but you don't actually know... We like to persume the best in people, but that is not always the case... We/people seen ourselves whether it's real life or in movies how people turn/change cause they learned a secret or anything that was abnormal to the person they thought they knew...

Only a chick would make a thread like this. Let's see how would I explain this to a chick since I'm a guy. I usually don't confide in people and platonic friend's are the only ones who seem to care about that fact. Just because your friend doesn't confide in you doesn't make them any less of a friend.

I understand bein' hurt by the fact that ur friend didn' come clean and tell u somethin' 'bout their past, but like Shodokan said, it doesn' make them any less of a friend. I also agree wit Kedar on this, even though ur bein' inquisitive 'bout any of ur friends' past may b done outta care and concern, it's better ta show ur friends that u respect their privacy. This also shows them that they can trust u and that they can come ta u wit things like this, even though it may not b right away. Friendship means havin' patience and understandin', ta learn ta accept people for who they r and ta never judge them based on their past.

I know how it hurts to know that a friend.. or rather a close friend of yours is hidding secrets from you,... Its hard to explain the feeling how it really hurts... you see.. you and your friend,, its your close friend.. you know that youve shared almost all your secrets to a close friend... a friend is where we lean on in times of crisis... knowing that he/she have a secret that havent been told to you... overthrows your relationship with him/her... but there are times that you should still ones decision upon somthing... just try to understand her feelings too... that little misunderstanding should not be the reason for your break ups.. just forgive and forget!!