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Thread: Interracial relationships

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    Interracial relationships

    Im confuzzled (confused and puzzled mixed together. I like making up words)

    I was having an interesting conversation with my cousin Jessica and her friend, Tenisha. Jessica is married to an Asian man, he's Korean, but Tanisha refuses STRONGLY to date outside her race because she has this theory that with each bi-racial child, our race is steadily deteriorating. Jessica, of course refutes this strongly because she is in an interacial relationship herself. They both had good arguments but it left me wondering. I look at guys of all races, but I do get a sense of that I am betraying my race when I look at a Hispanic man and not his black friend. I dont know how to respond to the dying race thing, but it...sorta makes sense...but then again it seems dumb. I mean, take chocolate milk for example.

    Black syrup mixed with white milk makes a creamy soft chocolate look....add more chocolate....u get darker milk.....more milk....less color. With each addition, you lose an ounce of "originality", though you know its there; but over time, you will either have more milk than chocolate or syrup than milk

    I'm confused.

    Born to rule, raised to lead, taught to establish: The African Queen

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    is On Point Abu Dhabi is making a name for themselves Abu Dhabi is making a name for themselves Abu Dhabi's Avatar
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    Re: Interracial relationships

    O.o originality?

    well, as a product of a bi-racial relationship and currently in a bi-racial relationship, all i can say is... what the hell?

    people who are in the KKK and Neo-Nazis are the ones who talk like that, and we see how great they turned out "sticking to their own kind"!!

    being a member of more than one race makes you realize that you not only have one race to make you special, but two! or even more than that!

    i get to be proud from being from Sweden AND Guatemala, now how many other people can say that???

    and besides, originality comes from the inside, not from where your parents are from!

    and as for losing your cultures identity... a culture doesn't lose their identity, they become part of a new one! African-Americans may not know as much about their culture as ones actually from Africa, but they still have their strength in spirit do they not? Hispanics may not remember much of their Aztec heritage, but don't they still have the warriors courage inside them? Caucasians may not have the same beliefs as when they were all English, but they still have that adventurous spirit!

    Culture, beliefs, those kind of things don't "go away" once you go outside the race, but instead gives those many wonderful gifts onto their children! In turn, the children will combine everything from their ancestors and make something great! Say what you will about the US, but it's an example of all the good and hope people can do when they don't concentrate on race, and focus on the greater good!



    ^_^ at least that's what i think, anyways...

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    Re: Interracial relationships

    There's a reason why they say "love is blind"

    A relationship of any kind shouldnt matter on race. My closest friend happens to be of mixed race, white and black (i think the term is mullato, but i dont know). Humanity as a whole needs to realize that we are all the same, despite what all we hear about it.


    The only place a race should matter is in NASCAR.
    Why hello there!

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    Re: Interracial relationships

    Well. I am a product of interracial mating, or dating, Or whatever you wanna call it. And yet I can sorta see both points too.

    On one hand, I think race in and of itself SHOLULD be less of an issue. I get annoyed with applications that request I specify a race. I usually end up either picking like 3 different ones, answering "other", or not answering at all. I've seen some with "multi-racial" as an option. But not many.

    I have never really associated myself with my mothers side of the family (The white side). I know that is part of me and aknowledge that, but they have all been distant. So I do not really associate myself with them in a racial respect. My fathers side (the black side?) Well they are all still kinda mixed. Alot of mixed cousins. Native in the bloodline. A lot of different races married in as well. And, many of my family members had felt a need to stress my "blackness". I was sure to learn all about that part of my culture and background as far back as it could be traced. But still, looking around my family I seen so many shades. From light light, to dark dark.

    Me, myself.... I am milky white. My hair is on the... caucasion side of the spectrum. Nut still has more texture than that of most fully white people. And, while I grew up rich in the knowledge of a heritage and culture of who I am, and what is part of me. There has always been almost a guilt complex, or a feeling of failure. Because I am constantly reminded of how I don't look the part. In fact I heard just yesterday "When I first met you, I thought you were straight up white".

    I have even found myself gravitating toward other mixed people. Because I feel others with a multi cultural background can relate more to the real issues that surround it. The confusion and the insecurity, And the beauty of it as well. Knowing you are a product of people who overcame their differences in culture. And broke the rules, so to speak, just to make love. Race aside, no one can deny that love is blind.

    The thing is, esspecially with African American's... there is so much variety. I have seen some real light children born of two dark parents. Dark children born from a white parent... ect. I think, perhaps instead of looking at this type of thing as a dying race... that perhaps it should be accepted and embraced as an evolving transition? That maybe, having the lines blured a bit isn't such a bad thing?

    On the other hand, I have very stron feeling toward African American culture and herritage esppecially. Being that were basically unable to trace ourselves back to any direct ancestory. All we know, is that we com from african decendants. And there is still alot of wiggle room there. It basically means, our begining starts with slavery. And so much important movements were made during the civil rights era. So much had to be overcome.
    While it is beautiful and all, that races can unite in love. Despite it maybe being frowned upon. I do have a bit of a fear that that cultural knowledge, which is so important, can kinda get lost. Not every family is going to be as careful as mine has been, when it comes to keeping that knowledge in tact. It really boils down to education. Quite frankly, I have seen the darkest of the darkest people with less knowledge about african american history than what I have. All because I think, that the need and desire to educate, to teach and aknowledge and practice traditions... is fading in society in general.

    Perhaps this is the dawning of a new era. Where a new history is being made. Complete with new tradition, new concepts. Perhaps, we are coming closer to accepting that there is truely only a HUMAN race...

    @ Abu

    I have to say, as I said above. I do believe that fearing that the lessons, the stories, the traditions of African American culture getting lost in all of this BLIND LOVE. Is a valid concern. Not that I think this is unique to just interracial dating, like I said above, I think the level of clultural education is fading in society in general. I don't think holding on to the "spirit" of your culture is enough to sustain it either. Just having the spirit of our culture... Isn't going to teach us about things like jumping the broom. "Spirit" can't begin to describe the sacrifices made. The hardships that were overcome. Plain and simple... it has to be taught. And these days... its a gamble that we get that education in full form.
    Last edited by Peach_follows; Dec 28, 2008 at 07:54 PM.
    ... Not Ever Again...

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    Re: Interracial relationships

    I understand what everyone is saying but I am still... confused. It must be self-conflict because I (call me a hypocrite, I know >.<) am in love with a man of another race. I want to be with him, but I can never find myself ever really being FULLY committed to him because of our different race. I have nothing against interracial coupling but, Taniesha did bring up a good point. If I saw a black man with a white woman, I would be a little hurt. not because he did not choose me, but because he has a white woman instead of a black woman. The same features she has, I have. The same curves she has, I have. Only difference is, I look more like him than she ever will. I don't envy or spite her, I just don't understand why more black men are turning to white women. I have seen many brothas out there date white women, and to his their own; but I just don't understand why so many brothers are constantly sayign tehy rather date a white woman than a black woman (for what ever reason). It doesn't even have to be black and white. A hispanic and an Asian could be an example. I've learned from talking to a few of my immigrant friends that they aren't really in favor of interracial dating because it is almost considered an insult in some places. I don't know. Still confused.

    Born to rule, raised to lead, taught to establish: The African Queen

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    Re: Interracial relationships

    Still confused? This isn't something that will likely clear up anytime soon. There is no way around the confusion.
    It will be a battle forever. A battle between those who want to hold on to old traditions and beliefs. Beleifs that the only way to sustain a rich cultural history. And respect for traditions. Is to keep closely within that culture.

    And those who no longer want to confrom to those beliefs. Folks who just want to love freely. Those who either realize that it is still possible to preserve traditions, even when having to juggle the traditions of more than one culture. Either that, or they are willing to settle for sacrificing those traditions all together (which is a much more discouraging reality).

    Imagine how confusing it is to be a product of it....
    ... Not Ever Again...

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    Re: Interracial relationships

    Quote Originally Posted by Peach_follows View Post
    I have to say, as I said above. I do believe that fearing that the lessons, the stories, the traditions of African American culture getting lost in all of this BLIND LOVE. Is a valid concern. Not that I think this is unique to just interracial dating, like I said above, I think the level of clultural education is fading in society in general. I don't think holding on to the "spirit" of your culture is enough to sustain it either. Just having the spirit of our culture... Isn't going to teach us about things like jumping the broom. "Spirit" can't begin to describe the sacrifices made. The hardships that were overcome. Plain and simple... it has to be taught. And these days... its a gamble that we get that education in full form.
    Abu was speaking of traits, not so much culture... but if it's culture we're talking about... it's that very culture that keeps us all separate.

    Though making us unique, it's those very cultural heritages that keep many of us at war with one another. It's a sad thing that the past can solidify our future so much, that we keep grudges our grandparents passed down to us - that we determine where and around who we live - that we reject others from befriending us.

    ...it's a very common thing that many Caucasians know little about their blood history. And though that history can make a person strong and confident in the things they do, and help them find a place in this world - the lack of that historical-knowledge helps them see everyone and everything in a new fashion.

    Our culture is like our instinct. When a creature has its instinct, and when it's fine-tuned through being taught by its family - it'll always see the same creatures as food - always see the same land as theirs - and always see the rest of the world as a separate entity, that if contacted with, can be seen as an invading force.

    As long as we keep these cultures so strongly separate, the longer we humans stay divided... and as beautiful as our separate colors and histories are - it's a danger to ourselves and everything around us, as we continue to specify everything we see. Never allowing change. Never believing in change. Never wanting change.

    ...take Southern California for example...
    Many Caucasians have kept their same beliefs of "other colors = danger"... and that belief is deep-rooted into them through nervousness of the parents... it has become their culture, it has become their instinct. Everytime more than 3 houses in a white-neighborhood has other colors in them, the entire neighborhood starts moving northward. ...ever wonder how so many people end up in Oregon, Washington, and in areas in Canada? People move up, out of fear of something from below.
    ... they're not foolish though. In just the same instinctual fashion, the Hispanics, Blacks, Filipinos, and Armenians change the entire neighborhood to suit their "culture".
    Whether it be traditional, or a newly made one, these cultures have often destroyed entire neighborhoods. It's not just gangs, it's the people altogether.
    In the place I live in, this place was dominantly white. And though a large sum of Caucasian population still lives here (due to an infamous Christian Church being the center of this place), 3 major corners of this area itself has been turned into a sort of Filipino plaza.

    You'll see that everywhere... Mexican restaurants opening up and eventually not even putting up an English menu anymore. Black neighborhoods, though racist to believe they're crappy, run-down, and dangerous: THEY'RE EXACTLY THAT. It's their new culture they made for themselves by reading their history incorrectly... black gangs were created to protect their neighborhoods from harassing white officials and mobs. Now look at what they've become, they're destroying the very neighborhood they live in and blame it all on the white-man.

    It was once nice to see a Mexican around here. White tourist folks often thought "Oh look! He/she must've come from Mexico! They're such a welcoming and festive people!". Though racist, it's a whole lot better than what they think of them now.

    With their food vans, push-carts, and street vendors, they've turned the entire area into a replica of an advanced version of what they had back in their homecountry. ...white people, scared as they've always been, moved out, leaving the Mexicans to take over the entire area. And they did. And you know what? And for some reason, they aren't cleaning after themselves (streets are littered) and causing more crimes than the cops can keep up with! It's just a richer form of the life they wanted to leave in the first place!

    And all the while, other colors are blaming the white folk, except for Filipinos (whose history praises American people... except for the radicals).

    This was all caused by people keeping to their culture.

    Down where I live... the Mexicans kept the culture they wanted to run away from and brought it here. The blacks are blindly mad at the white and cause more problems while continuing to blame them. The Armenians are taking over several areas and are turning them into mini-Armenian towns or into modern-Armenian areas, but they've at least blended in better with the American culture than the rest of us have. And the Filipinos? ..."my people" are taking over several areas and turning it into Filipino towns. Though great for them and all that, I think our culture's a little out-dated......
    "New and improved" my butt.

    Because we've kept all these cultures, we're tearing each other apart in order to just build mini versions of them all around here, as if they were shrines worshiping a different god.

    I find it sad, really. I really love all our races and cultures and histories on this Earth. But it's that very pride, that very uniqueness, that keeps us all apart from one another.

    ...I believe that if we were to breed with one another, we could both teach our child the histories of our peoples... we could both teach the ways and beliefs we all held at one point in time... and in that sense, the child will see both cultures as equals and improve off of it.


    Instead of being proud of our nation's histories, our child could be proud of our world's history.

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    Re: Interracial relationships

    @ Soshi...

    I am rather dismayed at some of your points of view. I highly doubt that peoples older cultural traditions, glorify or advocate the negativity you speak of. I can most certainly speak for African American culture. The deep seeded African American culture, DOES NOT have anything to do with crappy neighborhoods or high crime rates! Its quite the contrary in fact. This way of life is a direct product of a people who have a lack of respect, and knowledge of their heritage. Take black on black crime for example. Something that is quite prominant in predominately black areas. Do you think that any of those who led us through slavery, through the civil rights era, would have condoned such a behavior? ABSOLUTELY NOT! This is not a product of cultures sticking to cultures. This is a product of many curltures and traditions being uprooted and neglected. To the point that cultures from other countries, are coming to America. And creating a new, americanized version of what it is to be a "minority". This negativity is spawned from a feeling of being oppressed. Singled out. Spawned from the belief of having to fight so hard against sterotypes FROM THOSE WHO'RE NEVER EDUCATED ON THEIR CULTURE!

    In fact I will go as far as to blame our American "melting pot" for taking away our societies demand for holding on to the possitive aspects of cultural history. The goal was to come together and reform. But no one can change that everyone besides the Natives... Migrated here... all from different cultures and histories. Because SHARING those tradions was never made a priority. And has now been discouraged as a defense. Because now, we all have our sterotypes. And we know what the other cultures are determining about us, despite the FACT they aren't educated. So it becomes a war. Of who can defend themsleves best. That is why cultural history doesn't do so hot thriving here in America. Not because races are sticking together. But because no one is getting the education needed about their own background.... or the background of others.
    ... Not Ever Again...

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