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Thread: Parental Control

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    Lost in confusion Tetrix 2 v2 Champion Sazzy is making a name for themselves Sazzy is making a name for themselves Sazzy's Avatar
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    Parental Control

    Recently I have been going through a rough stage in my life where my parents, mostly my mother has started to put more restrictions on my life. Trying to control who I am dating and what I do with my life. I have noticed that I have only once left the house on my own since I have back from America. Its been really hard to do things on my own without getting my parents consent first.

    I know that everyone experiences this in their life and I want to know your experiences on the subject. How were you able to break free from the situation and do you think it was the right thing to do or not?

    Please comment away.
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    Newbie WitchBaby89 is off to a good start WitchBaby89's Avatar
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    Re: Parental Control

    Well I wish I could say I relate with your situation. But i don't.

    Growing up i had a sick mother who was always away and a negligent father, so i never had any restrictions on what I could and couldn't do. And now a days, though my mother is well again, it's still pretty much the same. I can do what I want, when I want, and no one asks questions. But aside from a slight troublemaker partying stage when I was younger, I've always been fairly well behaved anyway.

    Though I will tell you not to take it for granted. I would have given anything to have a parent around to annoy me and watch over me. They only pry and restrict because they care and they want to protect you. However if it goes farther then that, perhaps what's best would be to talk about it with them in a sensible manner.
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    Re: Parental Control

    I don't think that it is the best idea to spend all your time breaking away from your parents. Quite possibly you could be merely thinking they are trying to control your life when really they are only trying to help you because they have already been through childhood and have beneficial insight.

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    Re: Parental Control

    To break out of parental control . . . I moved out. I have an apartment near my university. I still go home almost every weekend and I still listen to my parents' advice, but it's a lot easier now that I'm not trying to be an adult in their house. That was a huge source of conflict last year.

    "I know you think you're an adult, but you still have a lot of growing up to do." Et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.

    Yeah. Now I live with one of my dearest friends and a third person (from Africa). And now I'M the parental figure. I'm not even the oldest, but I find myself saying things like, "Don't run with scissors!" and "Be sure to have your homework done before you go to the party . . ." It's a curse!!!!!

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    Re: Parental Control

    Quote Originally Posted by Sazzy View Post
    How were you able to break free from the situation and do you think it was the right thing to do or not?
    I moved out. When you live under your parents' roof, you have to abide by their rules, unless said rules are abusive or otherwise damaging to you as a human being. Curfews and mild restrictions aren't abuse, so if you don't like them, the only thing you can do is live on your own and not have those restrictions.

    My parents were never restrictive on who I dated (as long as he was a decent person, they were fine with him), because they had enough faith in my judgment and character to know that I wouldn't put up with someone who'd treat me badly. But I did have a curfew up until I moved out (at 22 years old); my mom complained that not only did she freak out if she woke up at 2am and I wasn't home, but when I did come in late, I woke her up and she couldn't get back to sleep. I think she would think of all the bad things she experienced, and worried that horrible things would happen to me without someone around to protect me.

    May I ask, Sazzy, what is your mother's issue? Have her rules always been in place, and you feel you're too old to have to follow them, or is it really an issue of control; does she want to have a say in everything you do, everywhere you go, and everyone you know?
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    Banned aceman67 has become well known aceman67 has become well known aceman67 has become well known aceman67's Avatar
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    Re: Parental Control

    What your mother is going through is the realization that you're growing up and about to leave her "nest". My mom did the same thing just as I was about to graduate high school.

    What you need to do is sit down with your parents, and have an adult discussion and tell them that while you do value their input and advice, you are an adult, and ask them for some space to figure out things on your own. Thats what I did with my parents, but I also had the benifit of learning from my older sibling's mistakes, so I was a pretty good kid.

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    Re: Parental Control

    I guess I'm lucky in a sense. I still live at home, I abide by their rules, do my chores and pay board. But what I do and whom I'm with is up to me. It's not that they don't care, my god they still show there concern, but they are just doing what parents do, being caring and protecting their child from the harms of the world. I've never had a curfew before in my life and I think I'm lucky for that, between me and my parents we just had this trust.

    As for you sazzy, I could't agree more with what aceman said. You are all adults plus they are your parents, talking to them should be a problem. If all else fails, prehaps moving out would be best? At least it will give them a clear message of 'hey! I'm old enough to look after myself and give myself rules now'

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    Re: Parental Control

    Quote Originally Posted by _gwenibe_ View Post
    I still live at home, I abide by their rules, do my chores and pay board. But what I do and whom I'm with is up to me...
    That's pretty much the case with me as well, except that I'm still legally obligated to live with them for another year. I don't really plan on moving out anytime soon either, because the way I have it is as good as it gets. I don't have to seek their permission to go out or anything - I just have to tell them where I'm going and what time I'll be back. Of course, there's still a curfew - midnight. =]

    It wasn't always like this though - once upon a time I was only allowed out of the house if I was holding their hands lol. I guess it depends on when your parents think you're old enough to be responsible for yourself.

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