Mr. K

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!The White Wolf

True, but sometimes the parent doesn't know what's good for the kid. The parent get's the kid into things that they think the kid'll like, or they themselves like. Just because the dad of the child used to be the captain of his school football team way back when, doesn't mean that his little boy is going to like football. Yes, he can introduce the sport to his child, but if the child doesn't seem to like it, that is where the parent doesn't know when to stop or keep on going. Sometimes the parent gets too into the situation and too into their own past, that they forget that it isn't their life. It's their child's. That's why there are so many teens and children who are soccer players, ballerinas, cheerleaders... and do not enjoy it one bit. Some of the times it's the parent who forces the kid into doing things.

It's one thing to encourage a child, it's another thing to force them to do it.

deodaclan18

Best futurama quote that shows how parents should get their kids more active and off the tv:

"Have you ever thought of turning off the TV, sitting with your kid, and hitting them."

lol. Seriously, if the kids need to be more active, then why is it bad for the parents to get them active. If it means you have to force your kid to get active and get some exercise (in the case the kid hates to do anything: sports,piano,w/e) then force them. Forcing them to do what the parent likes, that's what is wrong. But if the kid is just lazy, that's when you gotta smack some sense in them and force them if you have to.

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!The White Wolf

True. If the kid is just plain lazy, then of course the parent needs to be laying down some rules, and start forcing them to do things. But only to better the child! Not because of the parent's own selfish reasons. But I do agree that if the child is lazy and not willing to do anything, then the parent needs to start taking what's better for the child into consideration.

blue_rebel

Do you think that it is right for parents to butt into children's lives and make them do things that they do not want to do?

Yes and no. It's right if it what the parent is doing will ultimately contribute to the good of the child. It's not if the parent is just trying to shove his/her preferences on to the child. A lot of the time these two get mixed up, and what seems like the former is really the latter, and what looks like it could be the latter is really the former.

As much as I treasure freedom, I think that until a person is fully an adult and done with college and fending for his/herself, he/she isn't exactly independent yet. I disapprove of some of my parents' restrictions, as well as some of the things they make me do that I'd much rather not do, but I figure - there's got to be some good in it, and I trust my parents to know what they're doing. After all, they've lived far longer than I have (ironic, since this is one of those arguments that I usually brush off).

For instance do you think that it is right for a parent for force a child to play a sport or do ballet or anything like that just because the parent:
A: Did it when they were younger
B: Want there child to do it
C: Thinks that their child likes it because they watch it on t.v.

Well, look - I found myself in gymnastics, ballet and all manner of music and language classes because my parents just signed me up for all of them. I didn't really have much of a say. But hey, I grew to like most of them, and the ones that I didn't like - well, I gave myself time to like them, and if I found I still didn't like them, I told my parents I wanted to quit.

And here I think you ought to explain your idea of "forcing a child to do something". Some people have very different ideas of what it means to force someone to do something - and mine goes along the lines of force at any cost. Kind of like, "I don't care what you think, I'll whack you when we get home if you keep saying you want to quit ballet!"

I personally don't really see the wrong in a parent shoving his/her kid into a class. Sooner or later they'll find out if the kid likes it or not, and appropriate actions can be taken. But hey, I might never have cultivated such a strong love for music and languages (or learned ANY of them) if my parents hadn't chucked me into all those classes. Or scolded me when I complained about not wanting to go to class.

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divine_punishment

No one should ever FORCE their children to live their dream or what they perceive is "best" for them. I have a friend whose parents always ragged about how she needed to have better grades so that she could become a doctor. The poor girl had wanted to become an archaelogist ever since seeing Jackie Chan Adventures on the telly. She's on her way to becoming a doctor like they wanted. There was a time in her life when she was an emotional wreck. Even now, she is highly scrupulous, constantly apologizing for the slightest offense (and sometimes for doing things right), and overly critical of herself. I'm rather like that myself, but the point is: CHILDREN HAVE DREAMS; DON'T HINDER THEM!!!

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blue_rebel

Yeah, my parents saved up like crazy for my sisters and my education, having in mind that we'd all go to the Cambridge or the RLSP and study to become doctors, just like my parents. It's a really heartwarming thing to know that they worked so hard for our sake, but NOT so heartwarming that a lot of their efforts were pretty much geared towards making us all doctors, especially after my second sister and I decided to focus on the arts. (only my eldest sister is doing medicine; she's the most... filial, imo) My mum was SO upset.

And yes, I keep telling a lot of people, you shouldn't let your parents sway you like that. It's good to see where they're coming from, so you can at least understand their argument, why they want you to do this and that, and perhaps come to a compromise. But why let someone else dictate your life once you're old enough to make decisions? What you're going to do for the rest of your life is up to you, not them. Parents should have a say, but the last say still belongs to the individual him/herself.

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PsiKnot

But how is one to know if they like something if they never try it. I was afraid to go swimming until my father tossed my butt in. Poof! like magic I could swim, and on hot summer days I am very thankfull of that. I know its a lame example but if parents dont expose their children to new things how will the child determine what he or she likes. We could just let our kids sit and watch TV untill their 18 then kick em out and say "good luck". Would that be better?

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Rave_Grip

Do you think that it is right for parents to butt into children's lifes and make them do things that they do not want to do?

For instance do you think that it is right for a parent for force a child to play a sport or do ballet or anything like that just because the parent:
A: Did it when they were younger
B: Want there child to do it
C: Thinks that their child likes it because they watch it on t.v.


In my opinion it is not right to make a child do anything like that they don't want to. If he/she doesn't want to play a sport don't force it upon them let them find out for themself if they want to do it or not.
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Yes and no. "Butting in" isn't exactly the term I would use, but I guess at some occasions it's correct.
Parents only want our well being and want us to go in the right path instead of falling off the bridge ^_^ So they just care and nothing else.
BUT
Sometimes/occasionally the do butt in and make their child/ren annoyed. For me really annoyed. I mean what is it to them if i go to a Forum or make sigs?!
Always butting in and ruining the mood. Sheesh.
xD

As for forcing a child it is both right and wrong. Maybe they want us to fullfill our potential and get us off our self-misery. Make us successful. Competetive.
But sometimes they force us because they didn't get enough opportunities in their days, or they're plain stupid.

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lebasiara

My parents got me into a lot of things when I was a kid: music, sports, ballet, poetry and more.... so when I was a kid they made me experiment... and now I am stock with music, poetry and sports because I enjoy them.... i don't like ballet and my perents saw that but they let me try it for three months to make sure I didn't really like it. They at the beginning had to force me because I wouldn't do anything by myself... I just wanted to be infront of the TV and eating candy *nodes head* not good... now that I have grown and I got in college I am very thankful because they didn't let me to waist my childhood.... sometime parents have to force in order to make the child to know the world from other source than the tv.... and -now a days- In ternet

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Arrianna

A better example would be a friend of mine whose mother forced him to take piano lessons. He wanted nothing to do with music he just wanted to go out and play. Now he is majoring in music at University and is married to the prettiest wife he met through the music program. He thanked his mother publicly for making him take those lessons.

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