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Thread: Perfect age to Get Married?

  1. #17
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    Re: Perfect age to Get Married?

    Quote Originally Posted by xxoxx View Post
    Many people get married when They Reach 19 Years or more and that seem good in my view. when I was recently in one of the Arabic country ,My Guide told me that the girls here (In his country ) Get married when they seven ,eight Years and that shocked me but, which shocked me more that they get married to an old man I mean ,30 or 40 years old .
    So my Question is what is the perfect age to get married and why you think that is the perfect age??
    It depends on how society views what is acceptable for the age for one to be married. I think now the reason why we say the 20's and 30's range is because we live longer then in the past which is why we take longer to look toward marriage. I am not saying that it is ok to marry a eight year old, but when girls get to the age when they have their first period, they are considered a women because they can have children (that is how the ancient saw marriage), its not like this practice was never used in the US before. not to mention if you are going to have a big family you would want a younger women to bare your children because she will not hit metapause until 40+ and so you will have more opportunity to bare more children (men don't hit that wall until 70+), That is why I am saying you can't judge a culture unless you understand their culture and why it is accepted. But I will agree with everyone else by saying that I think that the 20-30+ age range is the best time to get marry, even though it is creepy to know that girls are wed at that age in other places in the world, but who am I to judge, like I said, it depends on what society see's as the right time to be married, being that the couple has to be accepted by their community and live their, and so if their custom is that then who are we to say you are pervert's or creeps. not to mention that polygamy is still practiced in the world where you see the man marrying many women (new wives are usually young girls/women). I am not saying that it is right to marry little girls or many women at the same time, just like that saying goes "One Mans cup of tea might be another mans cup of poison," the same could be said here and that is the point I am trying to make, the point being that something that we deem as bad could be deem as good by another. it does mean that it is right or I have to like, just that it can be seen as being right in the eyes of another person.

  2. #18
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    Re: Perfect age to Get Married?

    Quote Originally Posted by Franco View Post
    It depends on how society views what is acceptable for the age for one to be married. I think now the reason why we say the 20's and 30's range is because we live longer then in the past which is why we take longer to look toward marriage.
    Actually in my studies of history I have found the average age of marriage for girls is 20-23 in any society we have been able to document it. Certainly there were those who married younger but they were the exception rather then the rule. The variable rather seems to be the age of the men getting married. Societies that value a man who is well settle and able to provide thoroughly financially before the marriage even takes place tends to result in men marrying between 30-40yrs of age. In societies where it is considered a commitment to the future by both parties they tend to be within a few years in age, early 20's. The reason is simply that marrying a younger (teen) bride doesn't give you more children in a pre-modern medicine society, it increases the chance of a dead wife.

    I doubt our longer life really effects the average age so much rather then the increasing number of people who simply choose not to marry these days.

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    Re: Perfect age to Get Married?

    I don't believe in a perfect age to get married, maybe a range, yes, but an exact age no. As unidealistic as it sounds I would say that a solid financial base is more important than a chronological age. Love can fade and looks will change. What I think is important is that you have a compatible, solid partner.

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    Re: Perfect age to Get Married?

    There is no such thing as perfect o.o not in anything xD Flaws exists in everything ^^

    I mean.. marrying in 20's... is just..too early for me o.o I'd go with 30's - 35 when im financially stable to make a family.. but not by 40 >.< too old...

    I want to enjoy my life more before taking the responsibilities after marriage... after all.. we only live once and we should live fully!

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    Re: Perfect age to Get Married?

    I agree with the general consensus that mid 20s to early 30s is the normal, "perfect" time to get married. Your still in your peak physical condition and also more mature and responsible enough to be in a life long relationship with someone. If you marry too young it seems like your bound to get divorced 50&#37; of the time, so just make sure whoever you choose to marry that you're both on the same page.

  6. #22
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    Re: Perfect age to Get Married?

    Quote Originally Posted by Arrianna View Post
    Actually in my studies of history I have found the average age of marriage for girls is 20-23 in any society we have been able to document it. Certainly there were those who married younger but they were the exception rather then the rule. The variable rather seems to be the age of the men getting married. Societies that value a man who is well settle and able to provide thoroughly financially before the marriage even takes place tends to result in men marrying between 30-40yrs of age. In societies where it is considered a commitment to the future by both parties they tend to be within a few years in age, early 20's. The reason is simply that marrying a younger (teen) bride doesn't give you more children in a pre-modern medicine society, it increases the chance of a dead wife.

    I doubt our longer life really effects the average age so much rather then the increasing number of people who simply choose not to marry these days.
    Are you sure about longer life not playing a role in marriage, back in the dark age when you where considered a old man if you lived passed 30, back when you had multiple children (10) because you knew about only 20% (if your lucky) would survive until reproduction age (which is why the female would be marrried or have a child at a young age), that was a society back in history, if you want more examples of historical fact then I can present them with no problem, the figure you got has to do more with the 18+ centuries, when people were living longer and health was starting to improve because medicine was starting to become more of a science (not to also mention class had to also do with it), then the old medicine man/witch doctor concepts of old. but like I said, society is the thing that allows us to view what is ok and what is not, that is why now we can say and practice marriage as being ok to marry at least at the age of 18+ (even our laws dictate the practice at this age). I agree about your remark about a older male being the suitable husband, but I also have to add the concept of virginity also being the reason why these older men seek younger girls because they want a clean, "untainted", and pure bride (which is why white is the color for wedding dresses because it is supposed to symbolize purity), which is why you see that example in the middle east were a child bride is accepted, we got to remember that womens rights had no validity until the 20th century really, so why care about what the girl feels about it, kind of thought prevailed, it was whatever was convient for the male was good enough for her was ok, which is why you would see the older man marrying a younger girl. Also about your remark about a younger women dying when giving birth, you got to remember that birth was dangerous for any women until modern medicine (women still die to this day at child birth), so that is why if your bride survived, you still have the opportunity for her to give birth more then a older woman, that is why the younger bride was practiced. because you wanted to assure yourself that your seed would be pasted on for future generations to come, which is why every person has that set inside of them and why we reproduce.

  7. #23
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    Re: Perfect age to Get Married?

    Quote Originally Posted by Franco View Post
    Are you sure about longer life not playing a role in marriage, back in the dark age when you where considered a old man if you lived passed 30,
    That was actually a very short period of time and the average lifespan was effected by the numbers who died in the black plagues. Outside of the plagues at the worst the "old men" were those over 40 not 30 and even that was only among the lowest class who literally worked themselves to death. Among a few farming communities where that happened they did marry younger but for them it was still on average around 18 not the 14 and 16 people talk about. There is a lot of modern myths on the subject that just don't pan out when you check the facts.

    Quote Originally Posted by Franco View Post
    back when you had multiple children (10) because you knew about only 20&#37; (if your lucky) would survive until reproduction age (which is why the female would be marrried or have a child at a young age),
    If you average a child every 1 1/2 - 2 years it is not hard to have 10 children within 15-20 years. Nor was it uncommon to average 1 - 1 1/2 years for 10-15 years. Marriage between 20-23 still allowed this kind of numbers and it was merely the responsibility of the older children to care for the younger ones after their parents death. Marry the girl young and you may get 1-3 children before she died. Not a good trade for only a few years difference. Death during childbirth was taken very seriously.

    Quote Originally Posted by Franco View Post
    that was a society back in history, if you want more examples of historical fact then I can present them with no problem, the figure you got has to do more with the 18+ centuries,
    On the contrary the research I have read on the subject goes back to the high middle ages (any records before that are nearly non-existent). As I said there were exceptions but this is the average marriage age we are speaking of here not "valuable noble ladies" (who were treated as a commodity and not a bride/mother).



    As for now days, even among those who marry they often only have 2-3 children by choice. Yes our medicine is better but it is more our societal values that effect the ages. As I said before in societies where financial stability was the main factor in marriage the men would marry between 30-40 on average. In a society where the women are expected to supply for their own needs financially is it any wonder that the average age of both men and women getting married would creep up toward that mark?

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  8. #24
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    Re: Perfect age to Get Married?

    Quote Originally Posted by Arrianna View Post
    As for now days, even among those who marry they often only have 2-3 children by choice. Yes our medicine is better but it is more our societal values that effect the ages. As I said before in societies where financial stability was the main factor in marriage the men would marry between 30-40 on average. In a society where the women are expected to supply for their own needs financially is it any wonder that the average age of both men and women getting married would creep up toward that mark?
    U talking about sugar mama's?, in either case yes, of coarse, because they have to be able to survive however the case, you got to remember that the world was and some parts still are male dominate societies, 100 years ago if you said womens rights you would most likely be laughted at (not to say the idea was not around, just was the minority) for saying that. the only value that women were seen as during those times were that of being the baby maker and tending the house/kids work (men were supposed to bring in the money and work, that was their role, to protected and support their little weak and defenseless women (not saying that women are just that this was the thought of women in these types of societies)) or raise the mans statues if he was marrying into a high class family, that is why women were married young, or arranged to be married young in those times.

    I am not argueing the point's you made, like I said before I agree about what people have said about the modern age and what we believe is the right age for marriage. what I am getting at is that it depends on the society what is acceptable because we humans are a communial people by nature, if the group doesn't condemn something like what was first talked about in this thread (ie middle east) then what is the problem if their is no objections by the group. I know this kind of talk sounds like I am for kid brides, but I am not, I am just saying that if the group has no faults and the gov't has no laws, then where is the crime, are own moral convictions? like I said, I disprove of these actions and practices that exploit children, I just want people to understand that different countries have different traditions and practices then the US, I would be shocked and disgusted if this was here in the US because our own laws won't allow this to happen, I don't know what the laws are around the world, so that is why I can't condemn someone unless I know they are breaking a law. I am just saying that every society has had different standings on marriage and when one is ready, or like for example, the ideas about polygamy, arranged, gay (not for it because marriage is for reproduction, not for tax write-off's, I am ok with civil unions though, my own personal opinion), or even relatives getting married (Jerry Lee Lewis), if there is no law saying you can't do it, then where is the crime?

    I thought for sure I would have been ripped on for talking about virginity playing a factor, but for saying that ancient or past societies never or were excepted from ever doing this is absurd, my great-great grandmother got married at 12, and had her first kid at 14 (and lived), this was in Mexico. but like I said it depends on how society values the age for marriage, which was the point I was making for why this happened in the middle east (come on, polygamy is practiced their too, but I don't see someone being shocked about that) and why I am saying I can see why it might happen today in this modern age in another country. but do I believe it is right, no of coarse I don't believe it's right, just that I can see it happen in another country and it is up to that society to say if it is right or ok, not the outsider who has no stake in that society or community.

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