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Thread: Really Know Someone...

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    Re: Really Know Someone...

    Quote Originally Posted by Mechazawa View Post
    I would have to answer the first part, with a maybe. It would depend on how much space you need.

    As for the first part of the second part, you hit my nail right on the head ^_^.

    <Lonery

    Although it has nothing to do with what they may tell someone about me, or what they may think of me. Secrets are just that secret, I've never known someone that I wanted to know everything about me. Or anyone that I wanted to know everything about. Even if I did find someone I wanted to bare my soul to I wouldn't, I wouldn't allow myself to do such a thing.

    I guess to add to my original post it really just depends on the person that your trying to get to know and what personality they have. Also the person your trying to get to know would want to be known.
    I understand completely what you are saying... That is why I asked the question... I am to some what of a loner when it comes to letting people know the full me & even if I try to understand I don't even think I can... I know that there is more to people than what they just show you that is why this thread was posted... I think no one just has one side to them... I mean I have friends that think I am all about the street, but if I try to let them see the other side of me they tend not to grasp the idea or understand, so I just don't bother on letting them in... So that is why I had asked does anyone really know anyone.?.

    Quote Originally Posted by jyoung013 View Post
    it true what is said above in the posts, people will only let you know what they want you to know....however....it really depends on your relationship with that said name person. i was never completely open with my ex-wife, dealing with the post traumatic stress disorder, or the events that took place in iraq, and some of my querks that i had...but if you are really close with that person and say you both love each other dearly, closeness and being open with each other comes in time...you cant expect to know everything about that person all at once....hell it probably took a lifetime for my grandparents to know just about everything about each other...but there are still secrets that will be locked away and never discussed..it really all depends on each person in the relationship and how each one views one another on a physical and emotional level.
    I know some what of what you are saying jyoung... I mean I wasn't ever married, but I was with a girl who I would of or thought that I would... I couldn't let her in with the problems/issues I was going through with my family... I just shut her out cause I thought if I let her in on the full story of it she would of thought less of my mother & especially my father... She didn't know them like I did & I couldn't have her think ill of them... That is another reason why I posted this thread cause I thought I knew my parents, but they did things I never would of thought they was capable of....

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    Re: Really Know Someone...

    I don't believe I know anyone truly, and viceversa, I don't believe anyone knows me.
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    Re: Really Know Someone...

    Through time and trial, you can know lots about a person.
    However, that does not mean you know all there is to that person.


    How can one so selfishly believe they know a person? Are they that person? Are they a god of that person? Do they decide everything they say, do, or think for that person?

    ...no one can truly know a person, unless the person is that person him/herself.


    But there is a bond that can be created between two creatures. That though you may not know SPECIFICALLY who that other creature is, you can trust what they shall do next.

    But again, it must be created.
    It is not given by fate, and it is not won. It must be created and cared for.

    This bond can be between any creature of any size, shape, or gender or belief.

    Bonds like this can be traced to the aborigenes in Australia with their dingos. *they're not man and pet, they're partners*
    ...this bond also used to be for human marriages.
    ...but as culture has shown, it is almost like a fairy tale these days.



    Now, a real question to ask me is: Do I know Abu? ... I trust her in many things, even if it means for her to mess up on a lot of things. Our Hollywood-style love is nothing compared to how we act as partners in all that we do.
    Abu knows very little of me, and she knows I try to hide some embarrassments to her. But she trusts that I'm doing it for the best, and believes that such things aren't what makes our relationship.

    You shouldn't worry about knowing someone. You should try building a trust between them and making them know you're always there for them. They'll tell you all they wish for you to know about them if they trust you enough, and even mention secrets they never wished would have happened in the first place. A trust is much more important than KNOWING who they are.

    Afterall, you should be more concerned about your friend than what you know of em.
    _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

    But when it comes to strangers and etc. : ..... no duh you don't know them, and they don't know you. But most people think they know people.
    Some people are raised to believe everything they see... what they don't see can be a hazard... try not to be one of them, or you'll be a victim just like they will be.

    ...

    - - - - - - -
    And ice cream is delicious!
    Last edited by Soshi Kitai; Jul 23, 2007 at 11:40 PM.

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    Re: Really Know Someone...

    I don't believe time has anything to do with knowing people. Its more of the fact how that person feels around each other.

    I know my big brothers more then I know my little brother and where family.

    My friends say I am more Cheerful around my family and thats why they hang out at my home a lot.

    I tend to change friends not because they know me, its cause I choose not to let them~~

    There are still mini Facts about people, but who are we to say who is who. If your truly hiding who you are.
    I have seen a lot of people that been in therapy and I have to say, if it teaches people something it teaches you how to read people and there action, and how to hide yourself.

    Most insane people are very smart, thats a fact.

    People are people~! People will be people at the end of time, there is nothing new there is only repeats. Thats why elder people always say "I know you better then you think~ ! "

    They have seen it all. ^^;
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    Re: Really Know Someone...

    Quote Originally Posted by Soshi Kitai View Post
    Through time and trial, you can know lots about a person.
    However, that does not mean you know all there is to that person.


    How can one so selfishly believe they know a person? Are they that person? Are they a god of that person? Do they decide everything they say, do, or think for that person?

    ...no one can truly know a person, unless the person is that person him/herself.


    But there is a bond that can be created between two creatures. That though you may not know SPECIFICALLY who that other creature is, you can trust what they shall do next.

    But again, it must be created.
    It is not given by fate, and it is not won. It must be created and cared for.

    This bond can be between any creature of any size, shape, or gender or belief.

    Bonds like this can be traced to the aborigenes in Australia with their dingos. *they're not man and pet, they're partners*
    ...this bond also used to be for human marriages.
    ...but as culture has shown, it is almost like a fairy tale these days.



    Now, a real question to ask me is: Do I know Abu? ... I trust her in many things, even if it means for her to mess up on a lot of things. Our Hollywood-style love is nothing compared to how we act as partners in all that we do.
    Abu knows very little of me, and she knows I try to hide some embarrassments to her. But she trusts that I'm doing it for the best, and believes that such things aren't what makes our relationship.

    You shouldn't worry about knowing someone. You should try building a trust between them and making them know you're always there for them. They'll tell you all they wish for you to know about them if they trust you enough, and even mention secrets they never wished would have happened in the first place. A trust is much more important than KNOWING who they are.

    Afterall, you should be more concerned about your friend than what you know of em.
    _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

    But when it comes to strangers and etc. : ..... no duh you don't know them, and they don't know you. But most people think they know people.
    Some people are raised to believe everything they see... what they don't see can be a hazard... try not to be one of them, or you'll be a victim just like they will be.

    ...

    - - - - - - -
    And ice cream is delicious!
    I see what you are saying, but you can know a person for years & know nothing but what they portray... And wanting to know someone for who they truly are doesn't make you selfish... It makes you human who probably wants to share all the love, hate, hurt, pain, saddness, joyness, excitement, etc. that life has dealt or had to offer that particular person...

    I am glad you brought trust into the issue... You say "you can trust what they shall do next," but what if what you thought they will do they don't.?. Does that mean you didn't know them as well as you thought.?. Do that question comes into play or is it what you believed they portrayed.?.

    A bond is what the two ppl make of it... Unless you are just talking about a mutual bond trust & respect is all you really need... If you are talking about anything stronger you need more than that... A little of nothing is still nothing & a whole bunch of nothing is still nothing... Ppl tend to show/tell another person what they want them to see or know... And in most times it's what they think the other person will accept/approve... They don't show/tell or give them full selves to that person cause trust & acceptance comes into play... They hide themselves & keep secrets cause they're afraid of what the outcome will be... Some say it is to protect others, but who is it really protecting.?. Ppl put barriers up to keep other people out... it sounds like the thing under the barrier is what they are protecting whether it is feelings, ppl, or even the heart, & sometimes secrets...> Whatever is under that barrier...

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    Re: Really Know Someone...

    Quote Originally Posted by Inuruto View Post
    So you are saying that you only let them know what you think they would approve of.?.
    You could do that if you want to. That's exactly what serial killers do. They know what people perceive as normal and use that to their advantage. The most shocking thing about serial killers is not their crimes but the fact that they are conceived as being totally normal by people they know.
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    Re: Really Know Someone...

    does anyone really know anyone??? to me i don't think so because i think that there is always a secret that one keeps from someone.. so i don't think that we ever really know one completely...

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    Re: Really Know Someone...

    Quote Originally Posted by Inuruto View Post
    I see what you are saying, but you can know a person for years & know nothing but what they portray... And wanting to know someone for who they truly are doesn't make you selfish... It makes you human who probably wants to share all the love, hate, hurt, pain, saddness, joyness, excitement, etc. that life has dealt or had to offer that particular person...

    I am glad you brought trust into the issue... You say "you can trust what they shall do next," but what if what you thought they will do they don't.?. Does that mean you didn't know them as well as you thought.?. Do that question comes into play or is it what you believed they portrayed.?.

    A bond is what the two ppl make of it... Unless you are just talking about a mutual bond trust & respect is all you really need... If you are talking about anything stronger you need more than that... A little of nothing is still nothing & a whole bunch of nothing is still nothing... Ppl tend to show/tell another person what they want them to see or know... And in most times it's what they think the other person will accept/approve... They don't show/tell or give them full selves to that person cause trust & acceptance comes into play... They hide themselves & keep secrets cause they're afraid of what the outcome will be... Some say it is to protect others, but who is it really protecting.?. Ppl put barriers up to keep other people out... it sounds like the thing under the barrier is what they are protecting whether it is feelings, ppl, or even the heart, & sometimes secrets...> Whatever is under that barrier...
    Knowing what a person is for years means nothing... it's doing things with them for years.
    If there's ever a single moment you're gone from them, there is more space for doubt.
    Though the crevices of their minds are hidden from whoever they wish to hide it from, there are signs of weaknesses because of such an elongated action. If people hide things from others for too long, they tend to show "illnesses"... a constant spurt of nightmares is an easy one, saying and doing things they NEVER meant to do or say is also an easy thing to catch. Even those who get sick with fever with no reason of obtaining it, also shows.



    It depends by what you mean that "wanting to know someone isn't selfish"... if by love, then you should be patient with them. You may tell them what you wish to know, and you may tell them that you want to be there for them no matter what. You may ask for their trust and their hand. But if it's a person who doesn't even trust you yet, that's selfish.
    First gain their trust, gain their respect, gain their love, then you may have a right to know who these people are.
    Don't just think what you can do for them, also think what they want from you.
    If their standards seem restrictive in any way, they either don't trust you yet, or they never will want to.


    As for: What if they did something you didn't trust them to do?
    That's a fun one!
    You can either smile and say that you learned something more about them, realize they're growing up more, or realize they're full of surprises.
    But you should always trust someone to be full of surprises if you've known them as such... there are some people who hate surprises, and there are those who hate giving surprises, and both. Secrets aren't fun if they're being held from you, unless they plan to give it to you on some other day. Be happy that people can surprise you. Even if you thought you knew them "completely", it's nice to know they thought long and hard to do something you would never have expected.... at least, as far as surprises go.
    As for all other situations: That all depends.
    If it's something completely unlike them, then either you haven't been paying attention to every part of this person... or they're planning something.
    Trust only goes to a point, but it is strong and can rid of many unneeded strife.
    Things have to be met halfway before trust can even be brought up.



    And as for bonds: Like you said, it depends what kind of bond between the two people, for both, and for one.
    People may hide things from people, that's the obvious barrier. They're afraid...
    But a great thing to break that barrier, is what few do: Prove that the barrier is more harmful when it's there, than when it isn't.

    ...if these people are afraid to open up to you, it is possible to show them the heavy consequences that come with keeping such secrets. Every secret, EVERY secret has an up and a down. If you prove that the down is worse than they thought, they'll break down the barrier. If they build a new one, then you work together to break it down again.

    I may hide secrets from Abu, but I'm always willing to tell in due time. For now, it's not needed, and will cause more harm than good (not anything catastrophic, but it'd be better to tell in a time of peace )... of course, Abu and I had it easy. Abu was never good at lying or keeping secrets, and I always gave everything whenever it came to a relationship. (And it was because of that flaw, that many girls were too scared to even stay with me... afterall, what kind of guy just tells you all his secrets and habits?!! O_o)

    It's possible for two people to be completely honest to each other. It really is.
    But.
    But.
    But.
    In this world, that's rare. That it is.

    But remember, being honest may give out all your surprising and mysterious features (which a lot of women love to keep), but keeping them only shows that you're an ancient box that can't think of new surprises or mysteries to create.
    Something new to tell is always nice, it's like a story for the person who wants to learn more about the interesting you.


    ...there's nothing that was meant to ever stay hidden... Never...
    That's only an excuse to those who can't handle the truth.
    If you truly love someone. Not romantically, but truly love them and have a bond with them...
    Then you'll be able to handle any truth they give you.
    And they should trust you on how you react, and if proven wrong, then they're even more relieved or even more distraught.
    But as two who work together, you must work this out.

    If it's too hard, and if it's not worth it (in most people's cases, it's not. because of how they really feel about the person), then it's never going to work out. But who knows, time may tell.

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