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Thread: Relationship(Right or Wrong)

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    Newbie Xanosuke2 is off to a good start Xanosuke2's Avatar
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    Relationship(Right or Wrong)

    I have been in this one relationship...can't really say it has been a relationship honestly...but anyways, for almost 3 years now. Well for 2 years of it this girl had always said she loves me, then would turn around and say she doesn't. I had been there for her the entire time and done all I could, but at the same time she'd keep putting me through hell with her out of control, off the wall way of thinking and lack of trust in her feelings. Well she finally came to her senses and knew without a doubt she did love me, and well I was with someone else. She spent over a week begging and wanting me back and all that stuff, so I gave in and went back, but under the terms she'd show the same devotion I had and be with me like I wanted from her. Well a couple of months back she decided she wasn't going to stay somewhere with me where she'd be fussed at, not by me, but by family. And take note I was working 40hours a week, driving back and forth from her house and mine, which is an hour and half drive.

    My question for this debate is basically, would you think it is fair to ask someone to just put up with that and be there for you even though it would make them feel bad knowing someone else would be saying stuff about them after they had put you through hell?

    Erasing my past one bad memory at a time.

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    Devoted Otaku Alucard_ML may be famous one day Alucard_ML may be famous one day Alucard_ML's Avatar
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    Re: Relationship(Right or Wrong)

    Well if she never did anything for you (like driving 1.5 hours each time you're together) i don't think it's worth it really, if she really loves/loved you she should have visited you atleast sometimes.

    I've spend ALOT of money by talking on the phone and stuff like that with a girl (by that time she was my gf). Now she doesn't even care about me at all, and she shared alot of feelings with me and personal stuff. And now it's like she doesn't care anymore.

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    Newbie Xanosuke2 is off to a good start Xanosuke2's Avatar
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    Re: Relationship(Right or Wrong)

    Quote Originally Posted by Alucard_ML View Post
    Well if she never did anything for you (like driving 1.5 hours each time you're together) i don't think it's worth it really, if she really loves/loved you she should have visited you atleast sometimes.
    Well I was the one that always drove to get her and to pick her up, she didn't have a car or a way. But it's the fact that after all of that, and there's a good bit more I left out for personal reasons >.> like her running off with another guy(sleeping with) etc stuff -.- but yeah, the only thing I asked was her to live with me so I wouldn't have to spend weeks to months without seeing her all the freaking time.

    Erasing my past one bad memory at a time.

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    Zev
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    Re: Relationship(Right or Wrong)

    Its the thrill of the chase. She had someone else which probably made her think of you, and when she heard you with another girl she got jealous and tried to get you back. Its what people do because they don't know what they really want. To me it sounds like shes a ....., well I won't say anything because I don't know her.

    I think relationships you have to have a equal partner, someone who can hold there own, and back you up once an while. Doesn't sound like she is putting much in the relationship, which will cause fights, hard feelings, until you call it quits.

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    Re: Relationship(Right or Wrong)

    Quote Originally Posted by Zev View Post
    Its the thrill of the chase. She had someone else which probably made her think of you, and when she heard you with another girl she got jealous and tried to get you back. Its what people do because they don't know what they really want. To me it sounds like shes a ....., well I won't say anything because I don't know her.
    Well you see even with that I still left out details that I guess for the sake of the debate I shouldn't have.

    I was there for her for two years and she wouldn't return any ounce of that. Well when she went off with this other guy, it wasn't relationship wise. It was more of a "Hey let's have sex, and I know I don't know you" sort of deal. I was pissed because who wouldn't be? I told her I had every right to know that and she said it was none of my business, so once that was said and done I left. Went, I think a month, without talking to her and she had no clue on my relationship status, and decided she was sorry and wanted me back. So it's no so much of a jealous type of deal as much as it is an out of control problem that is repeating itself.

    With all of that said, the only thing I'm really asking is advice and a sense of acknowledgement that what I'm doing is right or wrong. Thus the whole beginning of this topic. I gave her a chance where she shouldn't have had it to begin with, with a not so serious problem for her to go through(thus people fussing about her staying with me). Oh and during all of this, she was pregnant with my child. So also taking note that once I took her back I was working fulltime also.

    Erasing my past one bad memory at a time.

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    Re: Relationship(Right or Wrong)

    But Zev, you said that when two people fight that they love each other.

    In any case I would have to agree with Zev. There are people out there who just care about the chase and not so much the relationship part which is what really matters the most and not so much the chase.
    Also agree that both sides need to be as equal as possible on things which is usualy a m40/f60 or m60/f40. Having it to lopsided is where lots of friction happens.

    As for her sleeping around with another guy, that is a big NO and sense the two of you were in a relationship it was completely your buisness to know. You should have ended it right there and then.
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    Zev
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    Re: Relationship(Right or Wrong)

    Quote Originally Posted by Xanosuke2 View Post
    Well you see even with that I still left out details that I guess for the sake of the debate I shouldn't have.

    I was there for her for two years and she wouldn't return any ounce of that. Well when she went off with this other guy, it wasn't relationship wise. It was more of a "Hey let's have sex, and I know I don't know you" sort of deal. I was pissed because who wouldn't be? I told her I had every right to know that and she said it was none of my business, so once that was said and done I left. Went, I think a month, without talking to her and she had no clue on my relationship status, and decided she was sorry and wanted me back. So it's no so much of a jealous type of deal as much as it is an out of control problem that is repeating itself.

    With all of that said, the only thing I'm really asking is advice and a sense of acknowledgement that what I'm doing is right or wrong. Thus the whole beginning of this topic. I gave her a chance where she shouldn't have had it to begin with, with a not so serious problem for her to go through(thus people fussing about her staying with me). Oh and during all of this, she was pregnant with my child. So also taking note that once I took her back I was working fulltime also.
    I think you already know the answer to your question. In my opinion the situation is wrong. I can't believe you dumped some girl you were seeing for your ex girlfriend. They are your ex's for a reason.

    Quote Originally Posted by Scourge View Post
    But Zev, you said that when two people fight that they love each other.

    In any case I would have to agree with Zev. There are people out there who just care about the chase and not so much the relationship part which is what really matters the most and not so much the chase.
    Also agree that both sides need to be as equal as possible on things which is usualy a m40/f60 or m60/f40. Having it to lopsided is where lots of friction happens.

    As for her sleeping around with another guy, that is a big NO and sense the two of you were in a relationship it was completely your buisness to know. You should have ended it right there and then.
    Fighting = Love lol Depends on what kind of fighting, if its over petty ridiculous things, or things that really matter, you know the things that would make a guy cry over.

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    Re: Relationship(Right or Wrong)

    Quote Originally Posted by Scourge View Post
    As for her sleeping around with another guy, that is a big NO and sense the two of you were in a relationship it was completely your buisness to know. You should have ended it right there and then.
    With that said lies another reasoning for her own justification. She says we wasn't "TOGETHER" so she said what she done had no business to do with me. But with her saying that she wanted my attention more than anything, and would want me coming to see her constantly, friendship or not, relationship or not, I see it as my business because when you love someone you have every right to know if they'll reduce themselves and sleep with anyone that comes along am I right?

    Quote Originally Posted by Zev View Post
    I think you already know the answer to your question. In my opinion the situation is wrong. I can't believe you dumped some girl you were seeing for your ex girlfriend. They are your ex's for a reason.
    I've known my answers the moment I make them or I wouldn't make them at all without knowing the full extent what it is I've done or going to do :P And to an extent...I can't believe I left someone else either. The lack of feelings toward the other person wasn't fair for them, so I saw it fit not to torement them, and put false hopes of something that could quite possible never come to be, like me feeling for them the way they do for me. Some ex's also have a gift for coming back into your life, rather it ends up good or bad. My hopes was that this would turn out more good than bad. More details and classified events went on between us that I will not sit here and poor my heart out in this forum.

    But yeah, jist of this being is it right or wrong to ask someone to go through a small amount of pain and suffering to make up for the vast amounts you've went through for them. Knowing that they will go through it.

    Erasing my past one bad memory at a time.

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