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Thread: Shacking up Before Marriage

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    Ever So Awesome Kaboom Champion, Archery Champion, Crazy Pool 2 Champion, Ninja-Boy Champion, Bubble Shooter Champion zyta may be famous one day zyta may be famous one day zyta's Avatar
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    Shacking up Before Marriage

    What are your opinions on this matter? From a religous point of view this can, and probably will, be seen as a sinful act not for the living together part, but the assumptions of living together and how they can get intimate late at night (or during the day). That would go against one of the most old beliefs of keeping yourself 'pure' mind and body for your future spouse.

    Others, those usually none religous, but not always non-religous people, tend to shack up and 'test' their future spouse out in all areas, and not just in the bed. They learn if how to live with the other, their limits on annoying habits, and find out some things about that person that you would never probably have assumed before.

    So what is your take on this? And, if you're okay with shacking up together, when in their relationship do you find to be an appropriate time to shack up together?

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    Re: Shacking up Before Marriage

    I have had two children out of wedlock, and so it would seem I am ok with the idea of sex before marriage. I certainly think it is more realistic, considering human nature, that we might want to mate before deciding (to help decide) a life partner. I'm not even sure if it is really human nature to HAVE a life partner. Although I think many humans do eventually have a natrual desire for loyalty and commitment. (I don't know if that includes monogamy).

    Either way, everyone looks at marriege differently. I think marrige is just a commitment... and to me it doesn't neccessarily need to be a promise made before GOD. I don't really think there needs to be a priest... Isn't everything seen by God? I don't really think marriage has to (or should) involve legalities. So, I really would veiw two people just living together, to be in a marriage. Isn't that how common law marriages are established?

    Maybe if a girl is sexually active with several different boyfriends... That could be looked at as several different failed mini mariages. I mean thats really all people do when they marry, divorce, and re-marry.
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    Re: Shacking up Before Marriage

    i think its better than jumping into something that may be later regretted. Sometimes that turns into a bad mistake which is why people tend to get divorced now after a couple of months of marriage, because they dot know how to deal with each other. Well other than the adultry issue.

    people always believe that in the old days people would go to a marriage pure, thats not the case like it is now. Alot of people go into marriage already in vast expreince of what goes on, long ago, and now. for a long time in alot of countries and nations just living with someone for any amount of time is marriage. In scotland if standing in front of a crowd as witnesses, and saying your married was enough.

    so im fine with people shaking up, its just a commitment to your partner. I dont believe in god so i dont think he oversees marriage all that much, and i dont think you need a piece of paper from a preist or judge to show someone you love them.

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    Re: Shacking up Before Marriage

    i think it depends if the person or persons that live together are
    really prepared because any idiot that wants sx and seomone
    to have sex with can move in together . if you marry being
    prepared and undertsanding the meaning of living with somone
    is a must.

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    Re: Shacking up Before Marriage

    yes..i have heard regilions it bad to do that..but i feel if u starting living with the person..u really get to know the person really well. sometimes ppl act a certain way when ur not around ..but if ur around them all the time u know them inside and out

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    Re: Shacking up Before Marriage

    if the parties involved are ready then why not. but you have to be absolutely sure since yest it's not a marriage but someone may end up emotionally hurt..... but i find nothing wrong with it.
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    Re: Shacking up Before Marriage

    I think that if you're in Love and both physically and mentaly stable/ready then yes, you should. it shouldn't be a sin to have sexual intercourse before mariage, but im not Christan, im Agnostic so I wouldn't really know about Christianity anymore then an Athiest person would. good luck with the dission you make.
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    Re: Shacking up Before Marriage

    Well, let me say first that I think the actual meaning of the 'don't move in until you're married' taboo is based on the assumption that:
    A. A couple that's getting married loves each other
    B. Both people know that 'this is the one' and can see themselves with that person indefinitely

    Looking at it this way it becomes more of a guideline, which would read more like, "If you love each other and can picture being together as old wrinkly fogies, go ahead". I don't disagree with that interpretation. I do disagree with the interpretation that proposes that somehow marriage itself is the end all, be all of the living together equation.

    Marriage has nothing to do with love, nothing to do with anyone's ability to live with another person, and frankly it has nothing to do with religion. Atheists still fall in love, and lo and behold, they even get married! Why? Because marriage is a thing, a word; it's a description of a bond that we've twisted into theology and legality. The bond of love can exist independently of marriage, and marriage can exist completely devoid of love.

    With this in mind, exactly what bearing does marriage have on a couple moving in together? The simple answer is it has none. It's wrong to assume that a couple moving in together is just testing the waters before they decide to get married. They don't have to get married at all! Ooooh! Shocker! If you don't believe in the institution and you don't care about the legal benefits, why bother? Is your love diminished if you both believe marriage is a farce?

    edit:
    I should mention that I am, in fact, engaged. I'm not anti marriage, but I am anti BS, which marriage as a religious institution and the whole fire and brimstone for deviating reek of.
    Last edited by erosennin; Sep 26, 2008 at 01:11 AM.

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