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Thread: Should children know whether they are adopted or not?

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    Should children know whether they are adopted or not?

    Should parents tell their adopted children they are adopted? if so, what age seems most appropriate? what are the repercussions of them finding out too late ? Why exactly do some parents decide not to tell their kids at all?

    I personally think it's only right if you tell them as soon as they are able to comprehend, and since kids are not as stupid as some assume, that's at a pretty young age.
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    Poultry Projectile Cannon Scourge is making a name for themselves Scourge is making a name for themselves Scourge's Avatar
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    Re: Should children know whether they are adopted or not?

    I would have to agree, its good to tell the child while they are younge but old enough to comprehend that even though they were adopted that they are still most defenetly part of the family and will always be loved. How ever I can see how that will be difficult for a child and parent to come to grips with do to the question of "Why did my parents leave me?" Which is hard for the child to accept and just as hard for the parents to answer as they do not know. Of cores the best answer a parent could give is a simple I don't know but reanforce the fact that they are loved just as much or even more so as if they were their own.
    Older adopted children already know this and just want to be with a family who will love them, even though its difficult for them to adjust to the new life style.
    Last edited by Scourge; Apr 15, 2009 at 03:09 PM.
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    Re: Should children know whether they are adopted or not?

    From personal experience, I think the whole "why didn't my parents want me" affects them more as they're older because they feel as if they've been lied to all this time. For all of their lives they've been taught that they have full blooded parents that have taken care of them from birth, but all of a sudden they find out it's a lie. it DEFINITELY sucks if they find out through another source that's not their parents. Then they have to go through the whole mind frame of "is my real mom/dad looking for me? do they want me still? do i have a whole family somewhere else?" and some (not all but some) start resenting their adoptive/step parent for not telling them this in the first place.
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    Re: Should children know whether they are adopted or not?

    Which is why I agreed with you in telling them while they are younge. But I was just commenting on how hard that question is if or when it comes up is all as it puts the child and parent/s in very awkward posissions.
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    Re: Should children know whether they are adopted or not?

    ironic how this came after my thread..o.0

    but i say you should tell them when they're young, otherwise it will be way too big of a shock, and it will be mentally unbalancing.

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    Re: Should children know whether they are adopted or not?

    I'm adopted but I don't think it's the same since I was adopted by my grandparents and my real mother and sister come to see me from time to time (not my dad. I hate him). I think ENR (ha I shorten your name!! *feels proud*) has a point. I think its better to tell them young. But I don't think it would be to bad to wait until they are older though.....

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    Re: Should children know whether they are adopted or not?

    ENR sounds weird. just call me Emo.lol

    but i think when they find out later they ask why didn't the adopted parents told them.
    But growing up knowing that your adopted could be hard too because it makes you wonder about your real parents.

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    Re: Should children know whether they are adopted or not?

    Quote Originally Posted by EmoNightmareRose View Post
    ENR sounds weird. just call me Emo.lol

    but i think when they find out later they ask why didn't the adopted parents told them.
    But growing up knowing that your adopted could be hard too because it makes you wonder about your real parents.
    true...but life has always been hard. besides, every child has the right to be educated generally. that includes their origins.
    YYYEEEEAAAAAAHHHHH!!!

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