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Thread: Single Parenting

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    Single Parenting

    So.... who all here was\is raised by a single parent?

    Weather you were or not... I want to know how you feel about single parenting.

    Do you think a single parenting is inferior to couples parenting?
    Do you think its possible for a mother to accurately raise sons alone? Or for a father to accurately raise daughters alone?

    What are some of the dissadvantages to single parenting?

    Are there any advantages?

    My BIOLOGICAL parents, were both MARRIED up until I turned 18. I thought that was how it was supposed to be. However, their marriage was rough, and I was a wittness and subject to all types of abuse. With that said, I knew my dad was there. Infact he was there more than mom. And If I was ever scared I knew he was available. I needed that big, strong protective figure.

    Now, I am a single mother of 2 sons. Ive never had a brother. So... I dont know much about these strange boy children (LOL). I learn as I go. But on the bright side, I am pretty much stay at home. I lavish them with attention. And they rarely see me bickering or fighting with others (unless its over the phone,). I am sure to keep positive MALE role-models around. But I know its not quite the same as a live-in "daddy"
    ... Not Ever Again...

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    anti-semantics Pub Quiz Champion tsurara may be famous one day tsurara may be famous one day tsurara's Avatar
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    Re: Single Parenting

    Quote Originally Posted by Peach_follows View Post
    Now, I am a single mother of 2 sons. Ive never had a brother. So... I dont know much about these strange boy children (LOL). I learn as I go. But on the bright side, I am pretty much stay at home. I lavish them with attention.
    I don't necesarily think that single parenting is any better or worse than a traditional nuclear family... but one thing did catch my eye about your post. If you're a single mother AND are "pretty much stay at home", who's teaching your kids about the value of working hard and earning their own way?

    I mean... no offense but, if you're at home: who's out there earning the money to support these kids?

  3. #3
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    Re: Single Parenting

    Quote Originally Posted by tsurara View Post
    I don't necesarily think that single parenting is any better or worse than a traditional nuclear family... but one thing did catch my eye about your post. If you're a single mother AND are "pretty much stay at home", who's teaching your kids about the value of working hard and earning their own way?

    I mean... no offense but, if you're at home: who's out there earning the money to support these kids?
    Currently... The United States Tax payers.

    I have no pride in saying that... but no shame either. I have got to work on myself before I can even become employable. And I am actively and aggresively doing so.

    However, having a working parent intstill values of work ethic... I dunno if thats really how it works. I mean... My mother has worked and worked and worked. And left my sister and me at home with a sometimes abusive father. She was so frustated with my "laziness" as a kid. She just did everything for me. And now... I am considered "dissabled" But really that is just because I have to learn how to function. PERIOD. I did not have those skills instilled in me. So now I find even the smallest tasks to be difficult.

    I think if I teach my sons... (as I am learning with them) how to be responsible for his actions... If he makes a mess, he cleans it. If he does wrong, he suffers consequences. They see how I budget (and that is HARD when you have little to nothing), they see how I make plans, and execute them. They also sees me cry from what I lack... and knows that our situation is not ideal. They actually SEE my process, wich is a much better way to teach. Where as if I go to work everyday... all they REALLY get from that is my absence, and maybe a better sence of structere and routine (which I admit I lack) . My oldest is now becoming aware of all the mistakes and bad choices I've made. But I havn't given up..... And I think that says alot.

    I never knew about struggle when I was young. I never needed or wanted for anything. Yet, here I am... struggling. Perhaps It wouldn't have hurt for me to see both sides.
    Last edited by Peach_follows; Dec 22, 2007 at 01:28 AM.
    ... Not Ever Again...

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    anti-semantics Pub Quiz Champion tsurara may be famous one day tsurara may be famous one day tsurara's Avatar
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    Re: Single Parenting

    I have a hard time respecting people taking hand outs... While I sympathise with your situation and your disability... I wonder how you ended up with TWO children on welfare. I don't WANT to pay your way (and that of your children) while you get your life together. I haven't got my OWN life together yet! And that costs enough. But I work hard, I struggle and I pay for myself. I won't start popping out kids until I have a career that will support them. One's an accident. I don't mind supporting a young mother with one accidental child who is genuinely trying to get on her feet for a short time. But sister, two's a plan. You don't need to be a degree to work at McDonalds... plenty of people support themselves on ebay in this day and age, from the comfort of their own armchairs.

    It's hard to say I'm with you on this one.

    I'm not :/

  5. #5
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    Re: Single Parenting

    Well my oldest is 5, my youngest is 2. I've had jobs.... but because I lack the skills to function normally... I've lost them. No one, not even McDonalds wants an employee who needs to be helped through every process. Its not a lack of education. Or intellect. I actaully have an above adverage IQ. I just have virtuallly NO clue how to work through some simple tasks. And even when I learn, I need things to be repeated. I mean... There actaully is something wrong with me.

    I did not know what my problem was it took many years and psych evals to discover. And the discovery process didnt start until after I became a mom. Before then my parents just thought I was getting bad marks and keeping a filthy room because I was "bad". But I have improved. And it hasn't always been ONE problem. If its not one thing its another.

    Neither child was planned, but not very well prevented obviously. But in deciding to keep them, it most certainly was not a plan to get your "hand out" (I dont even get cash assistance for the second child) $437.00 a month. Its really not shit, but I do alot with it.

    I am only 24, 19 when I became a mom. And 22 when I became a mother of 2. Yes, stupid of me to get pregnant. But I thought I could do it. (and was convinced I wouldn't be doing it alone) I still think I will be ok, hopefully without "hand outs" someday. And aside from One time... Ive abstained from sex for the past three years. Im not the first person to make mistakes at such youthful ages. But I own them. And am trying to right them. You don't have to be "with" me.
    Quote Originally Posted by tsurara View Post
    plenty of people support themselves on ebay in this day and age, from the comfort of their own armchairs
    Sounds nice... I wonder where I would get the money for a digital camera, computer, and internet access?
    ... Not Ever Again...

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    Otaku BrokenLover101 is off to a good start BrokenLover101's Avatar
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    Re: Single Parenting

    Quote Originally Posted by Peach_follows View Post
    Do you think a single parenting is inferior to couples parenting?
    Do you think its possible for a mother to accurately raise sons alone? Or for a father to accurately raise daughters alone?

    What are some of the dissadvantages to single parenting?

    Are there any advantages?
    No it's not the same as a having a live-in "daddy" but you know they need the mother's touch too... I am currently being raised by both of my biological parents and they have issues but they are slowly solving them.

    No i don't think it's inferior...

    Yes, I do... With both parents, the mother shows them how to be sensitive and things like that. The father shows them how to stand up for themselves adn everything. However, when being raised by a single parent one tends to be one or the other. A single parent can and usually does adjust so that they can teach them how ot be sensitive but also strong. I don't think i'm making any sense to you... ><

    Don't get yourself down on getting pregnant at the age of 18, my mother had My brother scott at the age of 19 and my brother Kevin at the age of 22, and me at the age of 24.... And we seemed to turn out alright... My father wasn't there for us so it was like she was a single parent.. It wasn't until recently that my dad started trying to become involved in our lives...
    X.x.X The only thing I'll ever want... X.x.X

    X.x.X Is for you to love me the way I love you.. X.x.X

  7. #7
    anti-semantics Pub Quiz Champion tsurara may be famous one day tsurara may be famous one day tsurara's Avatar
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    Re: Single Parenting

    Quote Originally Posted by Peach_follows View Post
    Sounds nice... I wonder where I would get the money for a digital camera, computer, and internet access?
    you're on the internet now, aren't you? That would seem to imply you've got access to two of the three already.

  8. #8
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    Re: Single Parenting

    Quote Originally Posted by BrokenLover101 View Post
    Don't get yourself down on getting pregnant at the age of 18, my mother had My brother scott at the age of 19 and my brother Kevin at the age of 22, and me at the age of 24.... And we seemed to turn out alright... My father wasn't there for us so it was like she was a single parent.. It wasn't until recently that my dad started trying to become involved in our lives...
    Thank you for the vote of confidence... I seem to need it in this discussion. And yeah... I think I understood. To be honest. I think single parenting is a bit inferior too. Not that it can't be done successfully. But, I think parenting is best done when there is a balance between 2 parents.

    Quote Originally Posted by tsurara View Post
    you're on the internet now, aren't you? That would seem to imply you've got access to two of the three already.
    OR that I am visiting a home with a computer and internet... Y'know, with it being the holidays and what have you visiting is quite common. .
    ... Not Ever Again...

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