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Thread: Spying on your kids, wrong or justified?

  1. #1
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    Spying on your kids, wrong or justified?

    Do you think its ok to invade your kids privacy if you think their in trouble or somethings bothering them? For example some parents have been known to put tracking devices on their cars, read their journals(diary's), and snoop on their PC's.

    I for one wouldn't do this. I think you should have trust in your kids. I could never do something like read there diary, just seems so wrong. Id die if my parents did this to me. The only exception i could see, is in extreme circumstances. Like if they were kidnapped(For possible clues), or maybe if drugs were involved.

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    Re: Spying on your kids, wrong or justified?

    If i had kids i wouldn't be there friend as much as i
    would be there parent. And no i wouldn't do that but,
    who said you could mess with them and make them think
    your checking on them , i mean till there 18 there pretty much
    under your house rules you pay there bill's cloths , Dr , food etc.

    The only way i would see a need like you said would be if they were
    dire circumstances but, leave them to there on devices to a point.
    I mean how will they learn if you don't let them make mistakes thats how
    they learn about life.
    Last edited by Miroku4444; May 26, 2007 at 09:23 AM.
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    Re: Spying on your kids, wrong or justified?

    If I thought there was something seriously wrong, then yes I would see what they were doing on the net. I don't think I would go as far as read there diary, like what miroku said, it just seems wrong. I am hopeing that I will have an open relationship with my kids and that if anything seriously wrong, they would come to me, with out me having to seek it out.

    I think it can go to far though, like putting tracking devices on their cars. Trust goes both. If my parents ever did that to me, I would have never have trusted them again. If they don't trust me why should I trust them?

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    Re: Spying on your kids, wrong or justified?

    According to Soshi, i probably would.... and i don't really disagree.....

    T_T sadly, i do have traits from my mother... more than i am willing to admit to... so i would probably open a diary, read a paragraph and become disgusted with myself and leave and make Soshi beat me up...

    Kids have a life too... they have their own thoughts and stuff and they have a right to be themselves without being spyed on... it's a basic human luxury, and i wouldn't want to take that away from them...

    it will be a f**K of a lot harder at the time.... ^_^ but that's why Soshi is here, we balance each other out...

    best way to solve it? Good parenting. What is that? Something you can't teach, that's for damn sure!

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    Re: Spying on your kids, wrong or justified?

    Quote Originally Posted by Miroku4444 View Post
    The only exception i could see, is in extreme circumstances. Like if they were kidnapped(For possible clues), or maybe if drugs were involved.
    If you finally took action then, your kid is most likely dead. Or even if your kids not dead, he/she could already be sexually assaulted or maybe just traumatized by the whole incident. Personally I am someone who prefers preventive actions rather than acting when or after something happens. Read my kids' diary? No, because that would be a bit too far. We all have secrets of our own.

    If my kid has an online journal, and I could find it then I will read it. Because now it is public, and it is fair game for me as much as anyone else to read it. Car tracking devices?? Yes, for several reasons. First of all, if my car got stolen I know where to find it. Second, it's probably going to be a car that is under MY name and under MY insurance. If something happens, guess who is going to pay for it. ME.

    This might come off as a bit sexist, but if I were to have a daughter then you can expect me to invade her privacy a little bit. Everyone knows that "daddy's little angel" are great liars.

    As God told Bender in Futurama, "If you do things right, people won't be sure if you've done anything at all." I rather have my kids hate me, then to see something happen to them that them and I would regret for the rest of my life.

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    Re: Spying on your kids, wrong or justified?

    There are some things that I think parents could do and it would be justified, like putting on tracking devices on their cars, can't see anything bad in that... It's just for safety they're not really interfering in your life like that... Just checking out, it's better than them calling time after time and asking where you are!
    But I'm sure that reading their children journals is just wrong, children will tell everything they feel like sharing... You shouldn't interfere in anyones life like that! If there is no special reason for that, I agree that those reasons might be those whitch You mentined Miroku.

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    Re: Spying on your kids, wrong or justified?

    Absolutely wrong. while some discipline is needed, in order for children to grow into well rounded adults, some freedom is required, and the most important thing: Trust.

    My parents trusted me growing up. They didn't care if I was out till late hours, even on school nights, as long as I let them know where I was.

    Did I make mistakes? Yes, I did. I got addicted to pot, something that I'm still dealing with today, But part of growing up is making mistakes, and learning from them. With out doing that, you wind up not being ready to face the real world.

    There's a reason they call 16 to 18 year olds "young adults".

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    Re: Spying on your kids, wrong or justified?

    read their journals(diary's)
    Oh my God!! This is EXACTLY what happened to me a few years back. She stormed into my room and took my diary; and then she locked herself in the bathroom to read the entire thing! Who the hell does that?!

    She said she had done it because she was worried I was doing drugs or having sex. I mean, honestly. Just because I wasn't talking to her..

    It is NOT right for a parent to go through their children's personal belongings. Email, diaries, text messages... it's not right. Those things are personal! ESPECIALLY diaries. Those are heartfelt conversations and expressions. I felt horrible when my mom went through those pages. Like she was cutting me in half and taking every last bit of me out of my body, slowly.. one by one. That's rediculous. If they [parents] think something is 'up', then they should try talking to the kids. But if the kids aren't talking.. they should lay off and go about doing things other ways. But going through your daughter's diary is definately wrong in my book, or going through your son's email messages.. that's also wrong. There isn't any need. It's a complete invasion of personal space, and if parents do that.. they cross the line. And their children lose their trust in them for a while.. possibly ever.

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