atomik_sprout

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Sazzy

ok yes people are going to base their opinion on someone in the first 10 seconds but is it the right to do?

I mean its bad enough I get told to die just because i wear black is that really respectful? Its no wonder that those who self harm do with all of the pressure from other people but when you really think about it, they don't have themselves to blame, its pressure and bullying that mostly leads to it.

I always say myself as a cheerful person but recently after getting told to die, its no wonder I get depressed. Some people really do just speak without thinking just so they can look all tough to the people around them.

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tsurara

Books are a good analogy

While it may indeed be hard to get a full feeling for the book by looking at it's cover. But one CAN generally get a feel for it's genre.

And since we don't have time to read EVERY book in the store: obviously we're going to gravitate toward the ones with covers and summaries we find interesting. It's impractical to expect people to stop you on the street and interview you about your life and personality BEFORE they decide whether to think one way or another about you.

If fashion doesn't matter: why worry about it at all? If you're going to go through the trouble of following a fashion trend at all: you must think it says something about yourself or sends a message you want to send? Fashion, hair, makeup, etc. are all about presenting an image of yourself to the world. Your brain and personality have nothing to do with your eyeliner, your purse or your hairstyle: and yet, people worry about all three. Basically, when you get dressed in the morning you're creating an advertisement for yourself (to the opposite sex, to potential friends, to employers and to the world). If you dress to a stereotype, you will judged by it.

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atomik_sprout

Telling someone to die is pretty horrible in my opinion. It's one thing to secretly wish death to someone. Lots of people do. "I wish he/she would croak!" But they usually have a damn good reason when it hits that level of anger or resentment. To just walk up to someone that you've never met ever in your life and to tell them to die--or something along those lines--is just plain rude, disrespectful and shows that the person has no consideration toward the feelings of others (I'm sure that person's family would be included with the inconsideration).

Yeah, you're right. Society has jugded people by the way they look for many many moons. But that doesn't make it right. There are people out there who make a concious effort to be polite, kind and respectful toward others. There are people out there who have no tolerance for that type of judgement. What makes the disrespect so acceptable is what I would like to know.

I bet if I walked up to a Korean and said, "You must be Chinese," they'd get uber pissed and call me all sorts of ass-hats, b****es and mother f***ers. If I walked up to a man in a three piece suit and said, "You must make a lot of money as a pimp, huh?" I'd get yelled at, cussed out or beat up. So what makes it acceptable? Why should we have to deal with perpetual ignorance, when everybody should've learned from their parents that it's wrong?

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tsurara

Everyone's working with different information and depending on the person, they're working with a different disposition. Everyone makes judgements based on appearance: that doesn't mean they're always informed, correct or pleasant ones. But assuming you know the stereotypes you're likely to be judged by BEFORE you choose to dress befitting them: you should more than expect the conclusions others are going to jump to.

As for SAYING something to a complete stranger based on their appearance: that would make you an idiot. Chances are they're that way to EVERYONE.

I don't think goths, emos, chavs, lolitas, otaku, jocks, whatever... deserve kid glove treatment. They CHOOSE how they look and they have the power to control perceptions of others. More power to them if they don't care. But complaining seems pretty silly when people are judged constantly in public AND in religion and politics for being a certain race, gender, nationality, or sexuality... having disbilities, etc. ie. things they can't change.

If the way people think about you based on your clothes bothers you that much: don't dress that way.

But seriously: why do you care?

Idiots are idiots. And they're everywhere.

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Sazzy

What do you mean by kid glove treatment? Sorry its confusing me.

So by you are saying is that we are asking to be giving verbal abuse or am I misunderstand things (which I do sometimes).

I would like it for children to be told more about respect. Some say they understand respect but if you look at most of the youths of today, they seem to lack this quality when treating others. When we all grow up and mature we realise that respect is needed or you just won't get that certain raise in pay or that promotion.

Its just that you never see an Emo walk up to a chav and tell them to die. You won't see a goth telling a jock telling them to behave differently. So why must Emo's and Goths get more verbal abuse than anything else? I have only see Goth's and Emo's either ignore others or just to tell people who shout at them to get a brain but that's only when provoked.

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Cheza

hmph, I remember when wearing all black was considered Goth not Emo. . . that sucks. Anyways, first impressions always count. . . which totally and utterly sucks! Do what I do. . .keep people guessing. . . I'm originally Punk, but depends on how I feel, I'll change to Goth, to formal, and stuff. ^_^

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kedar

Sorry to butt in, but...

Kid glove treatment means to treat something or someone with tact and caution. To handle someone with kid gloves means to deal with them delicately and sensitively, thereby avoid giving offense. I believe that's what it means.

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Aleister Sithis

Both Hassun and Tsurara made good points. Not everyone has the time to get to know you personally, so youre appeareance, image, whave have you, is what will make them guess at "what" or "Who" you are.

As for me, I...in a sense don't go into any of the "Labels" or that - Image wise (Well, to me that is). I get called "Goth" yes for wearing black. "Emo" or "Gay" for my weird intrest in wearing make-up. I also get called "Morphious" or "Neo" because well...I wear a trench coat, and I'm dressed overly nice I.E: Tuxedo Vest, Button Down shirt, Dress slacks, Tie, dress shoes. Really I don't know what that would give on people but yeah...x.X

In truth, the way I see it, not much you can do to it, it's there, always has been, always will be.

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Arrianna

Ah, considering the descriptions given of those stereotypes there just may be another reason for that. Reasons that involve just as much stereotyping as what you are complaining of, namely people don't tend to insult others to their face if they think they might beat the crap out of them for it. That doesn't keep them from talking bad about them behind their back though and I know that happens. SO which is worse, saying it to their face or gossiping behind their back? IMO both are bad and no one "group" is innocent.

That doesn't change the fact that people will judge you based on your appearance and their personal experiences. When it comes to being insulted by others tsurara is right "Idiots are idiots", don't let idiots bother you, however don't be unaware of the image you present either. If you know dressing a certain way will get a certain response from others don't be surprised when it happens. For example the girls who dress in nearly nothing all the time then are surprised when guys assume they are easy. If they don't want to be thought of as easy they need to stop advertising their wares so blatantly.

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atomik_sprout

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