Sazzy

Ok here is something that came to mind because of my recent situation. But looking at what people said in their comments. It lead me to thinking about the situations we get into.

For example; When a relationship is ending, we look back at what is no more and wish we still had it but things got in the way and its makes up more upset and dream of happier time but know its no longer in our grasp. I am big on dwelling, i know i shouldn't do it but it helps me reflect and think that i don't want it to happen again. But at the same time, i end up crying and think i wish i had acted differently.

But its not just after a break up we tend to look back and dwell on what could have been but nearly most things. I suppose its the fact that well all do it and don't really stop our selves, well some might but not my self. Its just that its human to get upset and think of what could have been but is it really necessary? so what do you think?

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fayt lingod

lol, sadly i can't relate to you. when something happens i just build a bridge and get over it. i keep thing that remind me of things i lost (alot like Ed's watch in FMA but more personal) but i don't dwell on it. i got all the christmas gifts form my grandma (dead) in the attic where they will be safe but i can't remember where in the attic. things like that.

however i am ussually good at comforting people that do have problems letting go. people alwasy come to me with their problems here at home.

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ketaro

I think that you can look back and ammend what you did wrong in the future. You don't have to look back necceseraly just to regret what you could have done. You need to get over with it and look towards the future because going back to old memories won't get you out of the whole that you are in.

HolderOfTheDarkChalice

i think dwelling is a good way to get over it easier though poeple like my
self tend to shrug it off as some jerk or but hole that was a waist of space and my time and effort and i move on not carinf for anything that happens
to them.

call me an odd ball if no one else is like that but thats just how i see things
i mean why look back on things when all there gonna do is make you
angrier

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Sazzy

yes, it is probably best to think about how i can learn from the experiences etc but still, trying to control the pain is somewhat different. If there was ever a way to control that pain then i for one would love to hear,

I am like you, I try to be there for my friends and I feel that their happiness is more important then my own because its seeing the smile on somone's face that shows that i helped someone and i suppose it cheers me up.

I do try not to dwell, but it somes i can't hide from things that will remind of my ex. Its like they are all there hiding from me till its too late for me stop what is going to happen.

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nightboyz

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LostbutFound

i think dwelling is a great thing on sum occasions because if those moments never happened wat would you have to think of

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Ok in order to judge other you first have to be able to judge yourself, then we must all except each others as equals

Sazzy

I know that most people say take it as a pinch of salt but sometimes don't we all find our selves not taking an ounce in of what other people say?

I know that i can guide other people but when it come to my self being guided, i say i find ot very hard to follow. so If we can't follow what advise is giving then are we just shallow minded?

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blue_rebel

I don't see how dwelling helps you get over things easier when you just think about it more. +__+ But yeah, I'm pretty big on dwelling too, though these days I try to concentrate more on the future. Sometimes I wish I didn't have to dwell on the past, because it makes me even sadder than I already am, but then thinking about it also makes me want NOT to let the same thing happen again. It's just like ketaro said.

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SousukeSagara

Past is past, more important is the present so you could go on `til the future... Its natural for us to look back to the past, but after that we will go on with it and continue moving to our own lives...

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Sazzy

that is a good point. i suppose i am someone who reflects on past experience to help learn what "not" to do next time. Of course Life will always be a learning curve but also like people do say.....the down parts are there to make you stronger

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