Anime Online
Home Forums Gallery Reviews RPG Arcade FleaMarket Links Rules / FAQ

Welcome to AnimeOnline.net, your personal Anime Community!

Anime Online Rulez!

Go Back   Anime Online > Archived Forums > The Vault > Clans v1 > Poems / Fanfics Clan > Library

 
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old Sep 04, 2006, 03:24 AM   #1 (permalink)
Spoken for.
 
Abu Dhabi's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Neither here... nor there.
Posts: 1,507
Thanks: 12
Thanked 15 Times in 13 Posts
Abu Dhabi will become famous soon enoughAbu Dhabi will become famous soon enough
Credits: 6,499
Childhood

singing
dancing
lip-syncing
butt-shaking

11
12
13

on and on
on and on
on and on

the songs would play
on
my little stereo

Reapeat-1
Reapeat-All
Random

They were larger than life
they were the ones
i wanted it that way

but i moved on
to things new and old
music to grow to

now they've moved on
to things new and old
new lives to live

i'm sad, but happy
something ended,
something began

i'm happy for the times we spent
the songs we sang
the dances we danced

good bye
see you again
i'll be listening to that song later

just a little sad i couldn't drag SOshi to one of your shows...

^_^ i had to get that off my chest... it's not much of anything... but i feel better now.... so shut up! i read your stuff! okay! ... ^_^!
__________________
Animal Friends!

great day!
want to read my comic? go here~!
Status: Offline
 
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Old Sep 04, 2006, 06:57 AM   #2 (permalink)
Domme
 
Kasai's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Florida
Posts: 2,745
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Kasai will become famous soon enoughKasai will become famous soon enough
Credits: 1,380
Re: Childhood

Hmm. The short stanzas arent appealing ot the eye. In fact, the shor stanzas, no capitalization, no punctuation, and little to no description... Makes me not want to read the poem.

I think there should be more to a poem than words and and subject matter. There should be tricks of the trade, and some sort of imagery.
__________________
Seduced by Flesh

Status: Offline
 
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Old Sep 04, 2006, 08:00 AM   #3 (permalink)
遁走 より 本当
 
BrightShadow_96's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Inside Reality & Serenity
Posts: 571
Thanks: 0
Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post
BrightShadow_96 will become famous soon enoughBrightShadow_96 will become famous soon enough
Credits: 3,355
Re: Childhood

The little description makes it kinda hard to understand.. and the three-ined stanzas aren't very appealing..
__________________
Status: Offline
 
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Old Sep 05, 2006, 11:44 PM   #4 (permalink)
Spoken for.
 
Abu Dhabi's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Neither here... nor there.
Posts: 1,507
Thanks: 12
Thanked 15 Times in 13 Posts
Abu Dhabi will become famous soon enoughAbu Dhabi will become famous soon enough
Credits: 6,499
Re: Childhood

=_= i'm sorry... this is no where near my best... i wasn't really trying to make it "a poem"... but... i'm sorry... i just felt that this was the only place where i could just let loose my heart in any way it went...

^_^ i didn't even know anyone would read it... i'm sorry, i meant no offense... just had to get it off my chest, ya know? maybe i'll re-write the poem with suntax in mind...
__________________
Animal Friends!

great day!
want to read my comic? go here~!
Status: Offline
 
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Old Sep 10, 2006, 03:39 PM   #5 (permalink)
Upcoming Legend
 
Nympho's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: I get bored easily
Posts: 511
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Nympho will become famous soon enoughNympho will become famous soon enough
Credits: 601
Re: Childhood

That was cute. Sounded like you were referring to Backstreet Boys. But a cute little poem.
__________________

I'm a glass child. I am Hannah's regrets. Monster.
Status: Offline
 
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Old Sep 11, 2006, 02:19 AM   #6 (permalink)
Domme
 
Kasai's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Florida
Posts: 2,745
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Kasai will become famous soon enoughKasai will become famous soon enough
Credits: 1,380
Re: Childhood

Quote:
Originally Posted by Abu Dhabi View Post
=_= i'm sorry... this is no where near my best... i wasn't really trying to make it "a poem"... but... i'm sorry... i just felt that this was the only place where i could just let loose my heart in any way it went...

^_^ i didn't even know anyone would read it... i'm sorry, i meant no offense... just had to get it off my chest, ya know? maybe i'll re-write the poem with suntax in mind...
Yes! Keep writing what's from the heart!!!! Please, do not stop or repress anything.
__________________
Seduced by Flesh

Status: Offline
 
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Old Sep 11, 2006, 02:48 AM   #7 (permalink)
Diamond in the Rough
 
Pride_Edward's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 247
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Pride_Edward will become famous soon enoughPride_Edward will become famous soon enough
Credits: 110
Re: Childhood

That would rather be nice if it were a song...but next time do it better,I know you can do it. ^_^
__________________

Our own site:
http://www.fma-adikz.tk
Status: Offline
 
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
 

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
what was you childhood game......... equinn The Chat Forum 20 Jul 03, 2006 09:36 AM
Childhood toys Melanic The Vault 20 Dec 03, 2004 05:28 PM
Childhood Heors and your Heros today Phoenix of Love The Vault 9 Nov 08, 2004 03:10 PM

 


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 03:16 AM.


Manga Fox | Anime Wallpapers | Ringtones | Anime Avatars | Wallpapers | Anime Girls | Watch Anime Online | Anime Buddy Icons
Anime Online Banners by fooligar. ©
This Anime skin cannot be reproduced on any website without written permission from the Anime Online Staff.
Ad Management by RedTyger

SEO by vBSEO

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99