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Sep 04, 2006, 03:24 AM
| #1 (permalink) |
 Spoken for.  Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Neither here... nor there.
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 Credits: 6,499 | Childhood singing dancing lip-syncing butt-shaking 11 12 13 on and on on and on on and on the songs would play on my little stereo Reapeat-1 Reapeat-All Random They were larger than life they were the ones i wanted it that way but i moved on to things new and old music to grow to now they've moved on to things new and old new lives to live i'm sad, but happy something ended, something began i'm happy for the times we spent the songs we sang the dances we danced good bye see you again i'll be listening to that song later just a little sad i couldn't drag SOshi to one of your shows... ^_^ i had to get that off my chest... it's not much of anything... but i feel better now.... so shut up! i read your stuff! okay! ... ^_^!
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Sep 04, 2006, 06:57 AM
| #2 (permalink) |
| Domme  Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Florida
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Credits: 1,380 | Re: Childhood Hmm. The short stanzas arent appealing ot the eye. In fact, the shor stanzas, no capitalization, no punctuation, and little to no description... Makes me not want to read the poem. I think there should be more to a poem than words and and subject matter. There should be tricks of the trade, and some sort of imagery.
__________________ Seduced by Flesh  |
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Sep 04, 2006, 08:00 AM
| #3 (permalink) |
 遁走 より 本当  Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Inside Reality & Serenity
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Credits: 3,355 | Re: Childhood The little description makes it kinda hard to understand.. and the three-ined stanzas aren't very appealing..
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Sep 05, 2006, 11:44 PM
| #4 (permalink) |
| Spoken for. Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Neither here... nor there.
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Credits: 6,499 | Re: Childhood =_= i'm sorry... this is no where near my best... i wasn't really trying to make it "a poem"... but... i'm sorry... i just felt that this was the only place where i could just let loose my heart in any way it went... ^_^ i didn't even know anyone would read it... i'm sorry, i meant no offense... just had to get it off my chest, ya know? maybe i'll re-write the poem with suntax in mind...
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Sep 10, 2006, 03:39 PM
| #5 (permalink) |
| Upcoming Legend  Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: I get bored easily
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Credits: 601 | Re: Childhood That was cute. Sounded like you were referring to Backstreet Boys. But a cute little poem.
__________________  I'm a glass child. I am Hannah's regrets. Monster. |
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Sep 11, 2006, 02:19 AM
| #6 (permalink) | |
| Domme Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Florida
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Credits: 1,380 | Re: Childhood Quote:
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