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Thread: Darkness

  1. #1
    Devoted Otaku BlueFox1 may be famous one day BlueFox1 may be famous one day BlueFox1's Avatar
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    Darkness

    Darkness

    It's cold, dark
    A place so deep that light can not penatrate
    My fears are closing in
    The pain is growing, surrounding me I can't breath.

    Someone help me please
    Anyone, someone I can't feel my heart is broken
    My wings have been torn
    Darkness

    This pain is like the firey pits of hell
    The angels I once saw are now devils.
    This can't be heaven
    Where am I, what is this place?

    Why can't I feel
    Who are you? Are you love?
    Go away leave me be
    I don't want to feel anymore

    The sunny days are gone
    Days of me loving you past the pain are gone
    I can't be the man who loved you anymore.
    Leave me Alone!

    Let the roses that onced bloomed
    Die and a lonely death
    Feel no more love or happiness
    This is the darkness I feel.













    Comments please, I not trying to use any ryhme scheme or anything just letting out some pain.

  2. #2
    Otaku raja_psyche may be famous one day raja_psyche may be famous one day raja_psyche's Avatar
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    A poem entitiled "darkness"
    for me that title suits well to the poem.

    breath can be changed in to breathe
    if you still want to use breath:i can't hold my breath anymore... or something like that...

    i liked the idea of the poem. it depicts emotions of feeling left behind... the pain... hurts... and the darkness... of a lost love...

    Thank you very much,Reese for this wonderful signature ^_^

  3. #3
    RPG Lord and Master/Poet Soldat of life may be famous one day Soldat of life may be famous one day Soldat of life's Avatar
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    I agree with raja on this one, and I'd have a poem with the same title I wrote once.....

    ...but it isn't quite the same kind of darkness....it's not sad, simply the incarnation of darkness instead of the darkness felt inside a heart, which you quite well described. But here it is anyay xD


    Darkness


    Holy realm that sets us free,
    Cruelty that lets us be.
    Falsity ruling the obscenity,
    Eternally disposing of reality.

    Harmony inside controversy,
    Slowly falling in misery.
    Watery eyes no less guilty,
    Nervously staring furtively.

    Endless words of no intentions,
    The void feeding from true darkness.
    Live and die by your actions,
    Cry so high as you can try.
    Quote Originally Posted by Soldat of life View Post
    My favorite philosopher:
    Hassun

    Thanks to Xelhes for this amazing work of art ^.^
    Poetry Corner CLICK HERE IF YOU KNOW ME

  4. #4
    Newbie HellsPunker may be famous one day HellsPunker may be famous one day HellsPunker's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BlueFox1 View Post
    Darkness

    It's cold, dark
    A place so deep that light can not penatrate
    My fears are closing in
    The pain is growing, surrounding me I can't breath.

    Someone help me please
    Anyone, someone I can't feel my heart is broken
    My wings have been torn
    Darkness

    This pain is like the firey pits of hell
    The angels I once saw are now devils.
    This can't be heaven
    Where am I, what is this place?

    Why can't I feel
    Who are you? Are you love?
    Go away leave me be
    I don't want to feel anymore

    The sunny days are gone
    Days of me loving you past the pain are gone
    I can't be the man who loved you anymore.
    Leave me Alone!

    Let the roses that onced bloomed
    Die and a lonely death
    Feel no more love or happiness
    This is the darkness I feel.








    Comments please, I not trying to use any ryhme scheme or anything just letting out some pain.


    Very emotional, whatever happened must have been painful, i kindof get where your getting at in your poem only because ive written alot of stuff like that, other then knowing that it came from your pain its very well written, if you dont know it, thought i should let you know that you have great potential!
    Sorry for whatever happened, gotta go.
    *HellsPunker*



    May my eyes PIERCE your body, PARALIZING you with your SOUL restless. You have been DAMNED, listen for only my MARK on the WIND will give you back a walking LIFE, somthing for your soul to FILL!

  5. #5
    Devoted Otaku BlueFox1 may be famous one day BlueFox1 may be famous one day BlueFox1's Avatar
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    Hey HellsPunker,

    thanks for the awesome comment, and the person who made me feel this way is someone from my past who contacted me and just made me think of all the pain she put me through.

  6. #6
    Domme Kasai may be famous one day Kasai may be famous one day Kasai's Avatar
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    Thesaurus can be your bestfriend. I'd like some other word for darkness.
    Seduced by Flesh


  7. #7
    S.E.L - sexy etna lover Baal may be famous one day Baal may be famous one day Baal's Avatar
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    Go away leave me be
    I don't want to feel anymore

    wow i feel it all! I love this kind of painfull poems keep the good work amigo



    perdoname michelle!

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