I posted this in the poem and fanfic section but didn't get the kind of constructive criticism I wanted the clan to tell me what they think. All comments are welcomed.
You toss and turn and break a sweat
Wake up with tears your pillows wet
You’re drowning in a river of your hopelessness
If only I could save you now
There’s got to be some way somehow
To let you know how I feel inside
Cause it’s so obvious and hard to hide
But if you really didn’t care why was I there
The color of my eyes the scent of my hair
Now I know dreams aren’t reality
But it’s so real so real to me
I can take a dream and tell you that I love you lady
You couldn’t see that I was always there for you
Remembering the time we spent together
Came true to me one night I had a dream
This is not my usual style of writing but I thought I give something new a try!
Hmm. At first I didnt like the use of the rhyming. But then it grew on me. I like the way the words create a good flow.