Thread: Have You Ever Turned to Dust?

Its a little too simple. I think it could have been better with a few words of imagery. I like it when something i read makes me feel or see it. And the first three lines are like others i've heard. You can use the same thought but word it differently. I would ultimatley reword the first three lines into imagery and keep the rest as it is.

the poem is simple... and is in need of more words that convey description.

You convey through words what you feel about this clan, you think that we are, or certain of us are immovable by your ongoing attempts at making one or many participate.

Though your attempt here in wording it is quite simple, it is even somewhat badly made...in my standards at least. You rushed it, yes it happens to me to rush, but usually I have something thought out behind this act of rushness, as if conveying a feeling. What you wrote was rushed and sees desperate as there are basic things as pontcuation that is missing.

End of Critic :P

hmph (concentrate)

to small and not enough cash stranger ( words)
and the rime isnt much unless is a free verse??

Thanks guys.

@Max: I actually wrote this poem two years ago. Lol. So, it kind of has nothing to do with the clan. Lol.

Originally Posted by Kasai

Thanks guys.

@Max: I actually wrote this poem two years ago. Lol. So, it kind of has nothing to do with the clan. Lol.

wel its a poem so its part of the clan

^_^ i think it's very good, but i think if it had spoken more of WHY the words are turning to dust, or WHAT words are turning to dust... i think it would have been a lot better!