Thread: I contemplate... oh, you know...

Very nice. But peace sounds almost like you mean satisfaction or something. Its not a peace i can recognize. Sounds like depression almost. But it was a good poem.

My fave part is:
Being able to see
the shore, the sky, everything.
yet unable to do anything,
touch anything.

It has so much meaning. You can feel the helplessness you are describing.

But this part can be removed or revised:
peace is somthing everyone thinks they want
until they feel it.

a poem about peace. i'm interested at the theme of the poem and you managed to express what you feel on words. you poem made me identify something about peace *i never thought that peace would be so scary*

Hmm. Imagery seems to be missing in my opinion.

peace is somthing everyone thinks they want
until they feel it.

This feels strange...I don't think many think peace that way, and particularly not me. I'd definately place another word to express a feeling of absence...as during peace, there can be minor conflicts or good times of any osrts. War or absence of peace is quite viloent is what I think and well...it can be another way of seeing things, so well...that's that :P

^_^ i very much appriciate all of your comments and will keep them in mind when i next put my fingers to the keys...

and i'm very glad that you critiqued my poem and not necessarily the viewpoint. i did not expect anyone to really agree with me, and i'm not saying that you must.

but thank you all very much!

........viewpoint....I think I kinda did, about peace and all....sry if it's not what you wanted...............*shies off*

its beutifull



the eternity.
the peace.

i don't like peace, i prefer happiness

''but without peace theres no happines nor soul to share the heart with those that are out in the cold''