ROCKANIME2007

light is happy
everthing is at peace
like an everlasting truce
with each other

darkness is oppsite
no peace at all
truces of peace are nowere
the fight between light and darkness will never stop

Baal

''To short''
'but good''
''keep''
''it''
''up''

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perdoname michelle!

Kasai

Think it's not too short. There's just a lack of imagery and substance.

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Nympho

It was too direct that you were comparing light to dark. Take the line out how they are opposite and say something more like indirect to what you are implying. Try to beat around the bush. It just is too forward for me.

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I'm a glass child. I am Hannah's regrets. Monster.

Soldat of life

Words very simply put, one part explaining light, the other darkness. I think there isn't imagery or anything, it's only blurted with nowhere to truly comment upon. I say it could turn into something very interesting, but you'd need to make it into a more traditional way....in other words: write things that describe what you think and not only what you think so the idea portrayed will be easy for all to see in their own special way...though your free to write however you want...critic is supposed to come from everything and anything :P

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Thanks to Xelhes for this amazing work of art ^.^
Poetry Corner