Results 1 to 2 of 2

Thread: new stroy concept

  1. #1
    super effective Last Man Standing Champion FLawEdmiNd may be famous one day FLawEdmiNd may be famous one day FLawEdmiNd's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    oh canada
    Thanked 27 Times in 26 Posts

    new stroy concept

    Well, this is what I've been working on for the last two-three days, I haven't let anyone see it yet so it's edited or anything... I'm open for all criticisms and suggestions.. oh, and sorry I didn't just give you a link, I don't know any site where I can post this... sorry....

    It’s been four years since I came back here. That’s a pretty long time, I think. When I left, I never intended to come back, ever but somehow, I had to.

    Owen said mom was getting pretty sick and she wanted to see me before she left, never thought I’d hear that from her, not after the incident. Maybe now she sees that it never really mattered what I chose rather how happy I was with that choice.

    It was about two months ago Owen called, I decided then that I never wanted to see her face again, that which bore me and she who was suppose to impose undying love was suddenly the face I could never stand before. Harsh of me to say that I know, but that’s just how I felt then. Now it’s different, now I have no number one enemy, no one to redirect my hate to. All I’m left with is this big gap in my mind. All these years I’ve lain down the blame on the shoulders of the ill accused, what the hell was I thinking?

    When I came into town, I felt everything was different in a way that everyone grew up and away from me. The buildings seemed newer, shinier against the horizon, I knew that to be untrue, and if anything, the buildings were more eroded.

    This town of mine, it’s real old and real small. Seven hundred people at the most live here in Rikors and less than that know of it.

    It’s just a small town off the interstate passing between Mississippi and Alabama; I don’t think it’s on the map any more.

    There are a few stores here, the usual grocery store and auto repair place, the biggest hangout when I was a kid was the Rikors strip mall. It had an arcade and some fast food places so me and pretty much all the kids at Rikors prep hung out there.

    There’s most likely a new hang out considering the new stores opening and that park in the east end being built, even so, Rik's will always be my favorite hangout.

    Owen told me everything that went on here while I was gone, he kept saying that I should know this stuff for when I came back. He’s the best little brother I could ever wish for. He’s sweet and caring, very protection but he’s still a strong man. One day he’ll meet a girl and blow her away.

    He told me that Robin and Cody moved to Lucedale into a house to run their business or something; he also told me that the Ficher brothers bought the car repair shop. I wonder what everyone else is up to. I don’t want to say it but I miss everyone.

    All the people I use to know were the best. There was the four Felder sisters, they were all opposites, but each girl added to the total harmony. The rocker Cody, she always had some smart ass comment, Robin the athlete. The other two sisters, they played a much bigger role in my young life. Jael, she’s so sweet and compassionate always ready to lend a hand and smile when you’re sad. Then there’s Aaren. She was my favorite, a mix of all the sisters I use to think, I don’t know now though, I kept the biggest secret ever from her, I wonder if she figured it out yet.

    The Ficher twins, ah I remember them well, two of the only boys I hung out with. They always caused trouble, Matthew nearly got expelled one time for setting a toilet in the girls room on fire. Marcus said that if Matthew left so did he. It was all solved in the end, not really. Their parents just donated more money to Rikors prep, they’re loaded.

    The others really aren’t that important, but I’ll still go visit them, I owe them that much.

    Now I don’t know what to do, I’m in town and there’s nowhere I can see myself going right now so I suppose I’ll just stop at the diner and grab some dinner.

    ------------ End prolog
    the love you withhold is the pain you carry.

  2. #2
    S.E.L - sexy etna lover Baal may be famous one day Baal may be famous one day Baal's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Re: new stroy concept

    My god this is like real life expirience stories...
    It's really interesting and has emotional events.
    Ilove it.

    perdoname michelle!

Similar Threads

  1. What is your concept of Hell?
    By ScionofDestiny in forum Debate and Discuss
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: Aug 02, 2006, 03:48 PM
  2. The Civic Type R Concept
    By ShadowRabbit in forum The Thread Vault
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: Mar 05, 2006, 12:31 PM
  3. Looking for Artists (Concept sketches)
    By Magnatude in forum The Thread Vault
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: Jun 25, 2005, 12:24 PM
  4. Anime as a style or concept?
    By sketch in forum The Thread Vault
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: Apr 27, 2005, 01:59 PM


Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts