''Reaching for the starts alone''

*Baal* · Oct 17, 2006, 04:43 PM

Im a lone sunflower
on a lone high tower
absorving all the light
from the sun and all life

learning from the shallow glow
that appears when the sun fall's
I've seen the shine
that the far starts alight

even if there so small
they just give it all they got
to make a bright night
to the earth when the sun

is out of sight
maybe is time for me
to get out of shelter
and follow thee
and the knowlege i had
earned and seen.
__________________

BlueFox1 · Oct 22, 2006, 09:25 AM

other than a couple grammatical mistakes you did a good job on this poem, maybe you should done it in free verse form though.(just a suggestion) Any ways good job and keep up the good work!

Hassun · Oct 22, 2006, 11:03 AM

Are you talking about stars?
This is confusing...

For3v3r_Lost · Oct 22, 2006, 07:08 PM

Yes he's talking about stars. He just have a few mistakes. =P Great poem though! =D

Oct 17, 2006, 04:43 PM	#1 (permalink)
Baal S.E.L - sexy etna lover Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Mayaguez Posts: 1,066 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Credits: 309	''Reaching for the starts alone'' Im a lone sunflower on a lone high tower absorving all the light from the sun and all life learning from the shallow glow that appears when the sun fall's I've seen the shine that the far starts alight even if there so small they just give it all they got to make a bright night to the earth when the sun is out of sight maybe is time for me to get out of shelter and follow thee and the knowlege i had earned and seen. __________________ __________________ perdoname michelle!
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Oct 22, 2006, 09:25 AM	#2 (permalink)
BlueFox1 Upcoming Legend Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: A place called Midnight Sun know as Tranquility Posts: 584 Thanks: 8 Thanked 6 Times in 6 Posts Credits: 1,156	Re: ''Reaching for the starts alone'' other than a couple grammatical mistakes you did a good job on this poem, maybe you should done it in free verse form though.(just a suggestion) Any ways good job and keep up the good work! __________________
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Oct 22, 2006, 11:03 AM	#3 (permalink)
Hassun shittle Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Pretiacruento Posts: 6,997 Thanks: 0 Thanked 35 Times in 30 Posts Credits: 23,835	Re: ''Reaching for the starts alone'' Are you talking about stars? This is confusing... __________________ Gorecreeps inc.
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Oct 22, 2006, 07:08 PM	#4 (permalink)
For3v3r_Lost Diamond in the Rough Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: My own little world Posts: 249 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Credits: 310	Re: ''Reaching for the starts alone'' Yes he's talking about stars. He just have a few mistakes. =P Great poem though! =D __________________ .:\|Myspace Profile\|.:.\|My Forum\|.:.\|My AO Gallery\|.:.\|My December\|:. "I love you with all my heart that I can't explain how much in words."
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