Results 1 to 2 of 2

Thread: Shattered

  1. #1
    Devoted Otaku BlueFox1 may be famous one day BlueFox1 may be famous one day BlueFox1's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    A place called Midnight Sun know as Tranquility
    Posts
    585
    Thanks
    9
    Thanked 6 Times in 6 Posts

    Lightbulb Shattered

    Shattered

    Standing in the rain as water drips down my face
    I look down and see my shattered reflection in a puddle
    Thinking of a passionate love that once burned hot
    Being put out by you attitude like a freezing wind

    Thoughts of trying to regain that love no longer alive
    Watching my heart and emotions being buried six feet under
    A lifeless body stands there watching as the dirt piles up
    No tears able to flow like a river dammed up by stone

    I held you in my arms and heard you say that you loved me
    But yet I see you walking holding hands with another
    Walking down a red carpet that is my heart that once beat
    Forever my soul shall feel an eternal hell that will never end

    Then when he breaks your heart you come to me to cry
    Asking me to love you once again but there is nothing left
    Darkness has already set in and love has become hatred
    You look into my eye and see the fires of hell burning

    You realize the pain and anguish you have caused me
    Now you’re holding Satan who begins to laugh in your face
    The pain that once rained down on me begins to fall on you
    Now you look at the puddle of your tears shattered by love

    comments are welcomed, after all I am trying to become better at writing poems.
    Last edited by BlueFox1; Nov 06, 2006 at 01:12 PM.

  2. #2
    Domme Kasai may be famous one day Kasai may be famous one day Kasai's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Location
    Florida
    Posts
    2,736
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Re: Shattered

    Hmm. The last verse in the first stanza seems odd to me. And you make allusions and metaphors that i simply do ot understand. Lol. However, the way you executed the poem is a refreshing way.
    Seduced by Flesh


Similar Threads

  1. Shattered
    By BlueFox1 in forum Poems
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: Nov 04, 2006, 12:16 PM
  2. Shattered December
    By Vincent_the_Victorious in forum Poems
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: Jul 15, 2006, 03:29 AM
  3. Shattered Glass [PG-13] (2003)
    By SamuraiDude128 in forum The Thread Vault
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: Dec 10, 2005, 09:01 PM
  4. Shattered Hopes
    By Gin Nightingale in forum The Thread Vault
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: Feb 14, 2005, 09:08 PM
  5. Shattered Dreams
    By TormentedButterFly in forum The Thread Vault
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: Jan 21, 2005, 03:32 AM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts