Thread: Unaccepted

Like my comment in the first one, same goes for this poem. Although this one is better.

This part is unnecessary:

One is hated
One cries

One never understood
One is hurt from abuse

One is dicriminated
One is unaccepted

Its repeating what you just said like to confirm it, but i don't see why you need to. Its sounds good to end before this section.

And this time...................................this idea is frakly abused somewhat.

The "One" not being the thing abused somewhat. Negativity is abused....kinda. You should try your next poem to find a grasping in positivity or neutrality or if you really simply feel bad things inside, find new ways of expressing yourself as the same idea placed in many continuing poems is just aa way to lead yourself farther and farther away from yourself. Think things out and well, take your time to further develop the pains or good things taht are inside you....

...I hope this comment helps...