I reply to your spoiler with one of my own:
click to show spoiler
Only he totally deserved it. In the end, Kaworu had a far deeper connection to Rei than any other character. Shinji said something equally idiotic in vol 10 when he implied that Kaworu didn't know Rei at all (something Kaworu let go). Granted, the nasty little comment was very un-Kaworu-esque... but given that Shinji was so intent to wallow in his own loneliness and misery by further shutting himself off from the people who care about him: it wasn't a totally unreasonable comment to make.
Rei DID die because of Shinji. It was her desire for Shinji and her unwillingness to let it consume her that lead her to self-destruct. Not only did she die for him, but she died alone... Shinji never "got it". Kaworu DID.
The whole Terminal Dogma thing was uber-bitchy though. Kaworu is admittedly a mean little bastard in the manga ^^;
I think things would have gone much better had they both just beat the shit out of each other on the beach and gotten it out of their systems.