And brokengirl, I'm sorry that niether I or Utena has been online, but my best advice for that(I've been there before), is find someone you really love to do(that is healthy. Not drugs, alcohol or the knife) and escape as much as you can to do it. Just tell people around you if you need to that you just need an hour alone or so, and try to deal with problems after that. You're much calmer. Try music as well.